My friend--a pro-life beacon

I have a friend who inspires me.  She always has.  She home schools, she has 7 great kids, she is joyful and hospitable, she is funny and real.   I have always felt very blessed to be considered her friend.  But now, more than ever, she inspires me as she shines like a pro-life beacon in this dark and anti-life culture.  She shines like a beacon when it would be so tempting and easy to simply turn off the light, to become bitter, or to fall into the darkness of despair.  My friend is pregnant with her 8th child, but she recently found out things are not going well in her womb.  Her baby boy is not growing at the normal rate, he appears to have some birth defects, and the doctors don't know how much longer he will live.

My friend is so humble that I know she would not want me to share her name, but I hope she won't mind me sharing her words from a recent blog post.  Her words have inspired my faith and my pro-life convictions, and I want others to be encouraged by them too.  I also want to share her story so that she can be showered with prayers.  Even though I am not sharing her name, God will know who you are praying for.  So please help me to pray for my friend...that she will be given all the graces needed to help her carry her cross and be a beacon of light even when all seems dark...


{an excerpt from my friend's blog}:

The last days have brought a torrent of information, emotions and tears. How can a little guy (yep, a little boy) that looked so absolutely perfect five weeks ago change so drastically? He still looks perfect to my uneducated eye, but obviously some things with the pregnancy have went wrong. Our routine 20 week ultrasound indicated a few things were awry. Our midwife called to tell us we needed to see a specialist....the next day. When things happen that quickly, I know things are not good.

My husband and I went to Great Falls to be told that the same chain of events that occurred when we lost our previous baby at this stage were happening again. We thought losing Clare was a fluke, but now the doctor is thinking there may be more to it, with circumstances repeating themselves. Along with the baby's environment deteriorating, he has some significant birth defects that would certainly affect his and our lives if he does make it to term.

So this is where the rubber meets the pro-life road.

Our case is truly an argument that would be used to promote abortion. Things aren't looking good for the babe to make it to term. If he does, his life isn't going to be "quality" anyhow, so why not end it all. Put the baby out of his misery and end the fear of the unknown for the mother.

Yes, the fear, the unknown, is overwhelming at moments. But, this life was given to us, to me, to protect and cherish no matter what the outcome.

It is painful.

But he is mine and is a gift. Sometimes we are just unable to see the value in a gift received til much later. So we will wait and find out what God has in store for us...what value this gift of uncertainty, of pain, of loss, holds.

Meanwhile, the meaning of being pro-life has taken on an entirely deeper meaning. I've always talked a good talk. I mean, we have seven children. What is not pro-life about that?

But there is more.

I am still nurturing this little one, no matter what the outcome is in the next two weeks or next two decades. I still need to give it my best effort, from eating well and taking vitamins to getting enough rest to praying for my little guy.

It is difficult to avoid looking glum. But if I believe in the sanctity of every life and this child is a gift, maybe I shouldn't mope around too much. Strangely, keeping myself busy and putting on a peaceful, if not happy, face, has made me feel interiorly at peace. And, after all, if things go as bad as they are saying he will be in Heaven soon and what could possibly be better?

Then, there has been the support of my family: My husband, Mom and Dad, my sisters...and darn it, even my brothers. I can't help but think of all the women that choose abortion, how abandoned they must feel in that moment. What different choices they would make if only surrounded by a family that lifted them in prayer and loved them.

So we will continue on. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. As my husband said at the beginning of this pregnancy, "We will be a beacon."

I just didn't realize what that would entail.

Isaiah's Birth Story

Describing the most emotional, intense, and special events of one's life is a daunting task.  Hence, I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of writing Isaiah's birth story. I want to get it "just right," to capture every detail so that I will never forget, and to convey to Isaiah how loved he was from the very start.  I'm not quite sure how to do all of those things with mere words, nor do I know the best way to start, so I guess I will just start writing from my heart and let the story unfold as it wills...

The days prior to my delivery felt emotionally charged with anticipation.  I was in my 38th week, the week most of our other boys were born.  Would it happen this week, or would God's sense of humor shine and have me go overdue this time around?  Each morning I would wonder, "is this the big day?"  Even my children could sense this, and the three older boys took wagers to see which one of them would be closest to guessing Isaiah's actual birth date (Dominic turned out to be the proud "1 Dollar Winner" by guessing April 28th--just 2 days off!).  Therefore, after waiting for 9 months to meet my constant companion in the womb, it seemed a little surreal when labor actually began...

It began at midnight on April 26th, with a full moon shining in the sky (hmmm, I wonder if that had anything to do with it?).  Like almost every night for the past few months, I woke up needing to pee, accompanied by a light Braxton Hicks contraction (those two things tend to go hand-in-hand with me).  I figured the contraction would go away once I went to the bathroom and came back to bed, which was normally the case.  This time, however, I got back into bed and another contraction started immediately, then another 3 minutes later, then another 3 minutes later again.  I laid there in disbelief, and honestly, a little bit of grief because I vividly recalled how tiring it was to labor all night long with the births of Michael and Dominic.   I woke up Paul and desperately tried everything I could think of to stop the contractions---I drank some water, I took a warm shower, I prayed without ceasing.  Nothing worked, so we began it get ready to head to the hospital.  Paul called our friends Mike and Margaret to come over, and we were out the door by 1:30am.  I asked Paul to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy while we drove to help me relax and focus on uniting my suffering with Christ's.  It was amazing how comparing my suffering with Christ's helped my pain feel more bearable and transformed it into something almost beautiful. 

When we arrived at the hospital, the nurse checked me and found that I was dilated to 5cm already.  Indeed, this was the real deal.  I wanted to immediately sit in the nice, warm jacuzzi, knowing that it would help me to relax and tolerate the pain better, but unfortunately I had to wait for the nurse to put in an IV and for the lab to come up and draw blood to check my platelet count (all of which seemed to take eternity).  Eventually, all of that was done and the nurse checked me one more time before I headed for the tub.  I was at 7cm dilation.  For the next hour I soaked and focused on offering up each contraction for a specific intention.  For example, one intention that was very present on my heart was the conversion of abortion-minded mothers and Planned Parenthood employees, because it just so happened to be Friday, which is the day abortions are performed in my town.  I also brought a list of prayer intentions so that I wouldn't forget to pray for the people and requests closest to my heart, because I knew I would probably get too distracted by my pain to think of all of them during labor. It was Paul's job to read the next intention on the list as another contraction was about to begin.  Paul was a constant, calming presence---the best doula I could ask for!  Within an hour, I was already feeling the urge to push, so the nurse asked me to come out of the jacuzzi to check my progression.  I almost cried for joy when she said I was at a 10!!!  I was so proud of myself for making it to a 10 without an epidural this time, and so happy that God gave me the grace to suffer with His Son, to console His heart, and hopefully to help those who were on my prayer intention list.  What I didn't realize was that my suffering, consoling, and helping others through "offering it up" was not yet finished.  I still needed to push. Time to pick up my cross again...and this time it seemed a lot heavier. 

I tried to regain my focus and offer up each contraction and pushing repetition for one of my special intentions again, but it was much more difficult.  Being out of the peaceful waters of the jacuzzi made the contractions feel much more painful.  Some of my peace apparently disappeared down the drain of the jacuzzi.  So instead of making peaceful prayer requests during the remaining contractions, all I could do was make short cries of love in my heart:  "Jesus, I love you!"  or "For You, Jesus!" or "Please help me, Jesus!"  After an hour of pushing during each contraction, baby Isaiah still was not in my arms and I began to worry, overheat, and feel beyond tired.  Paul and my sweet nurse Kaleigh kept fanning me, placing a cold wash rag on my head, and encouraging me with praise-filled words, but I wasn't feeling very praiseworthy anymore.  Dr. Hay was the OB on call that night (I was sad my female OB, Dr. Huntley, would not be there to deliver...just one more thing for me to offer up, I guess), and he suggested that breaking my bag of waters might help.  I desperately wanted to hold Isaiah by this point, so I agreed.  The pain became even more intense after that, and I worried that I wouldn't be strong enough to push Isaiah out because I was so exhausted.  After another half an hour of pushing, I begged the Blessed Virgin Mary to help me, and the moment I made that plea from one suffering mother to another, Isaiah's head finally pushed through!  I will never forget how Mary interceded for me at that moment.  Tears of thankfulness stream down as I type this...

The other tremendously beautiful moment that I want to remember is how Dr. Hay told my husband to "roll up his sleeves" just a few minutes before Isaiah was born and handed Paul a pair of rubber gloves.  No other conversation took place between the two of them.  Dr. Hay did not ask Paul if he wanted to help deliver Isaiah or cut the cord or just be a bystander.  Dr. Hay, as a dad himself, knew that Paul would treasure the memory of delivering his own son into the world, so he didn't give Paul any other option.  How beautiful to watch my husband be the first one to hold baby Isaiah and to give him his first independent "breath" as he cut the cord and then handed Isaiah to my waiting arms.  I wish I had a picture of Paul's moment of pure daddy pride, but thankfully I believe the image is forever imprinted on my heart.

After Paul placed Isaiah in my arms, all I could do was marvel and stare and thank God.  Isaiah was so alert and content.  He looked like a perfect combination of all his brothers and his daddy, but with my reddish, peach-fuzz hair.  I loved the feel of his soft baby skin against mine, and I was so thankful for the hospital's policy of letting me nurse and hold him to my heart's content.  Content it was indeed.  I remember being surprised at how quickly my body went from feeling the most pain it has ever known to perfect peace and contentment.  I had fallen in love again, and I guess love has a way of healing all pain.

Isaiah's official moment of birth was 5:40am---slightly less than six hours from my first contraction at home.  Six of the hardest and holiest hours of my life.  The entire experience was painful but perfect.  I really believe God gave me the desire to have a natural childbirth this time to teach me the fruitfulness of suffering.  Pain can have purpose if we give it to Jesus.  I am so grateful God gave gave me the grace needed to accomplish His will of a natural childbirth for Isaiah, but I honesty don't look forward to going through that kind of pain again anytime soon--if ever--even though it was SO worth it! :) 

And just in case my words don't tell the story well enough, here are some pictures worth a thousand more words...

Mother's 1st embrace...Love at 1st sight

Maria with Dr. Hay and kind nurse Kaleigh

Mommy and Isaiah--together at last!

Paul with his 5th born son--one very blessed daddy

Joseph meets his new brother

Michael meets his new brother

Dominic meets his new brother

Boy oh boy, look at all those boys!

The happy new parents ready to take Isaiah home from the hospital

Isaiah Jesse--one day old
Isaiah means "God is my Salvation"
Jesse means "Gift"
During labor I prayed many times that he and his brothers would receive the gift of God's salvation.
In the end, that's all that really matters.

 

Welcome to the World!!!

With great joy and gratitude we announce the arrival of our newest miracle:

Isaiah Jesse

April 26, 2013 at 5:40am

7 pounds 15.5 ounces

20 inches

Still waiting...still thankful

 

 

Still waiting to start "real" labor...  I am progressing though!  At this week's appointment I was 90% effaced, 2 cm dilated, and the baby's head was at -1 station.  My doctor said I am "on the verge," but, of course, I know that really means it could be today OR two weeks from now before I hold our newest miracle.  In the meantime, I'm just trying to focus on giving thanks and not worrying.  So here is my very belated "Thankful Thursday" list that I have been adding to for many weeks but kept forgetting to post:

 

• my sweet husband who was willing to take some pictures of my big belly before it gets deflated (didn't he do a great job!?)
• my calming, encouraging, amazing OBGYN (I hope and pray she will be on-call when I go into labor, but if she is not that I will be at peace with that too)
• the Sacrament of Confession, like opening a window into my soul to let in the light of grace and the fresh air of hope
• precious love notes from Paul on the coffeemaker in the morning
• our new, humble and holy Pope to guide the church towards Christ
• watching my boys love each other through giggling, wrestling, and teasing one another (how on earth did we manage to have 4 boys who adore each other and seldom fight!?)
• the Holy Spirit filling my mind with a much-needed verse:  "My soul finds joy in God my Savior," reminding me that God is all I need to find joy
• the gift of "Dinners Done Right" meals from my husband
• Nathanael's new found love of puzzles
• Michael's helpful heart with Nathanael--always offering to read to him, give him a bath, play with him, and tuck him in for bedtime
• boys who love going to the dentist (and none of them having cavities this time!)
• praying Hail Mary's and the Litany of Saints with the boys on the way to school each morning, and the way Nathanael pipes up at the end with his own prayer to "St. Natey!"
• the sweet way Nathanael sings "Jesus Loves Me" and "Hail Mary Gentle Woman" every night in his bed
• Dominic's beaming face when he gets "happy grams" from his teacher
• prayer warriors who lovingly stand on the sidewalk of Planned Parenthood every week
• Joseph's team winning 2nd place in the Roman Catholic Challenge competition; it humbles me to see how much he loves his Catholic faith and how confident he is to share it
• Michael's "toothpick incident" (long story that involved the ER) which turned out alright (PTL!)
• watching Joseph's and Michael's confidence and skill on the baseball field; plus, seeing the love of the game written all over their faces
• vanilla spice lattes (for me) and donuts (for the kids) on Sundays after church

 

 

Nesting Results

Sorry to disappoint those of you who thought my next post would be a baby announcement...  The little guy still isn't quite ready to meet the world, which is giving me more time to NEST!

And boy have I been nesting!!!  It is both a blessing and a curse, for it has been extremely productive, yet absolutely exhausting.  These past few weeks have been a flurry of cleaning, organizing, giving bags and bags to Good Will, washing baby clothes, and trying to finish up half-completed projects before baby and sleep deprivation arrive.  One of the big projects on my nesting list was finishing up the blue jean quilt that I started for Michael many, many months ago.  It has been such a fun and therapeutic project for me, but last week I was overtaken with the urgent feeling that...

it...must...get...finished...right...now...period. 

I had this irrational fear that if I didn't finish it before the baby came, then it wouldn't get finished until Michael graduated from high school. 

So, that's what I did---I finished it.  Now the baby can come whenever he's ready.  :)

Michael was thrilled with the blanket's baseball theme.  I was thrilled to finish it and to use up a huge pile of the boys' holey jeans and old uniform pants in the process.  My ultimate goal is to make a blanket for each boy before they graduate, but right now I am content with being 1/5 done! :) It was special for me to pray for Michael as I worked on his quilt, praying for his virtue to increase as he grows and for God's protection to always cover him just as this quilt will cover him with warmth and his mother's love.

Here are some photos I took over the past few months while working on Michael's special quilt:

I love you, Michael, and I hope this blanket will always remind you of that.  May it cover you with the warmth of my love for many, many years!

38 Weeks: Almost Go Time

38 weeks seems like a huge milestone for me.  This is the week that I have delivered 3 out of 4 of our children (all except Michael who came even earlier at 37).  Part of me wonders if this will be the week we will get to meet our newest son.  At my appointment last week I was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated, so things are slowly starting to progress, which is a good sign.  However, another part of me hopes that this little guy will wait until he is full term because then he will be fully developed (and I will get to have a couple more weeks of relatively good sleep!)  Paul's mom arrives this week on Wednesday, so I pray this little guy waits at least until then to make his grand entrance.

I am so happy to have come this far with NO BEDREST and no major issues.  My platelet count is still low, but not dangerously low.  My number is at 118,000, and apparently if I go below 100,000 I will not have the option of getting an epidural because my body needs enough platelets to clot properly, otherwise bleeding could occur in my spinal column and the surrounding nerves, which would be bad.   So I guess the hospital will check my levels when I go into labor to see if they have dropped too low for me to even consider having an epidural.  My hope it to be able to delivery naturally with no drugs or epidural anyway, but it still would be nice to have the option---just in case---which is usually the case! :) 

As you can see in this photo, I am starting to feel HUGE.  The boys (and Paul) love to make me laugh because they think it's hilarious to watch my Santa Clause belly shake up and down :)  My belly is so big right now that my belly button is 2 inches off center, and new stretch marks seem to appear every day.  No more bikinis in my future--ha--as if I would ever be seen in one anyway!  :)  I am trying to treasure this time of being pregnant, because I wonder if I will get to experience it again.  Five children sounds complete to me right now, but perhaps God has a better plan.  I will try to remain open to His will and embrace each moment, each day, each child that I am given.  I am eager to introduce this precious child to the world soon...perhaps that will be my next post!

Uncomfortable?

Because of my 3 clotting disorders, my OB requires me to get an ultrasound every month, which I just LOVE!  This week I had a 32 week ultrasound and our little man looks as handsome and healthy as ever.  The sonographer got one funny picture of him with his foot literally in his face.  It looked so uncomfortable, but apparently he doesn't seem to mind that scrunched up position because his face looked perfectly content.  I giggled when I saw it because it reminded me of how my dad used to grab my hand and then jokingly say "don't hit yourself" as he forced my hand to to hit my own face.  Thanks, dad, for the fond memories! :)  That  memory made me want to say to our little baby, "Hey little guy, don't kick yourself!" 

Our sweet baby is already weighing 4 and a half pounds and measuring in the 67th percentile, so it was another reminder that he will be joining our family very soon.  I am so eager to meet him and hold him in my arms.  I'm certain my warm arms will be way more comfortable than my womb which he is clearly outgrowing! :)

32 Weeks and Counting...

 

Here is me and my growing belly at 32 weeks.  All is going well, but I have felt from the start that this pregnancy has been totally different from my previous ones.  I'm amazed at how different each pregnancy can be and how many new things I learn each time I prepare to bring another little person into this world. 

At my last appointment I did the fun glucose drink and blood work, and I learned that my glucose levels were great, as well as my iron, but that I had a low platelet count.  That was something totally new to me.  At first it kind of freaked me out.  I wondered if I had leukemia or some other cancer or if that meant I was going to die...  My OB (as well as my research on google) reassured me that low platelet levels are fairly common in the third trimester of pregnancy, and usually they will bounce back up to normal levels once the baby is born.  I do have to get tested each month to make sure the platelet count doesn't continue to decrease, but hopefully all of this will be a non-issue.

Other symptoms that I have been experiencing lately are:

• persistent back pain (especially towards the end of the day)
• 3 or 4 Braxton Hicks contractions/hour (but so thankful not to be on bedrest yet!)
• being highly emotional (hopefully this doesn't mean I will have more post-partum depression than usual)
• occasional shortness of breath/chest tightness (still not sure what is causing this)
• fear of labor and delivery

I made the mistake this week of watching the movie "The Business of Being Born."  It was an insightful (although extremely biased towards natural childbirth with no medical intervention) documentary, but it did nothing to alleviate my fears of handling labor and delivery.  I don't know why I even worry when obviously I've done this before, but I think the fact that I've experienced how intense the labor pain will be and all the possible things that could go wrong has actually increased my anxiety with each pregnancy.  The documentary was so anti-hospitals, anti-epidurals, anti-OBGyns that it instills a sense of guilt if you choose not to go 100% natural.  But at the same time, the scenes in the movie that show natural childbirth were also frightening to me as I envisioned trying to deliver my baby without the option of pain-relieving drugs or a medical staff to assist in case of an emergency. 

For some reason I have a strong desire with this pregnancy to try to go through labor and delivery naturally.  I would love to be able to offer up my suffering to atone for sin, to console Jesus' heart, and quite simply because I believe it's better not to expose the baby to any drugs if possible.  But I also know how low my pain tolerance is and how I always chicken-out at about 6cm dilation and beg for an epidural.  I have successfully delivered one baby 100% naturally (my second born son, Michael), but that was not by my choosing.  By the time I arrived at the hospital, my OB said that I was too far along for an epidural (I think I was at a 7 or 8cm dilation).  I was NOT happy about that at the time, and honestly, I have totally blocked out in my mind how I managed the pain.  I don't really remember my labor at all, which is weird.  I do remember keenly wishing I had the epidural AFTER Michael was born because my placenta remained stuck in my uterus and it took numerous attempts and 2 different OBs to remove it by hand---not fun...oh my goodness! 

But anyway, I know that each pregnancy is different and I need to go into labor with trust in the Lord and with an open mind about how things will progress.  I made the mistake with my first pregnancy of writing out an 8 page birth plan (HA!), only to learn that not a single page of that birth plan could be accomplished due to circumstances totally out of my control (Joseph was undergoing fetal distress, etc).  It was devastating to me when my beautiful birth plan disintegrated and I won't make that mistake again.  So please help me just to pray for peace and for my labor and delivery experience this time to result in a healthy baby in my arms no matter if I go natural or the more pain-free approach.  Jesus, I trust in You!

PS:  I'm all ears for tips on pain management if any of you have something to offer.  During my last delivery I tried the birthing ball and also the hospital jacuzzi, and both really seemed to help me manage the pain of the contractions for quite awhile.  However, once the OB broke my bag of waters, the contractions become too painful and I went with an intrathecal.  Perhaps if I wait longer for my OB to break my waters and try to do most of my laboring in the jacuzzi I could tolerate the pain better?  Any other suggestions?

a praise and a picture or two

This morning I had a follow-up ultrasound at 25 weeks because my 19 week ultrasound showed that the baby's placenta was a bit too close to the cervix.  The doctor wanted to make sure that I didn't have placenta previa, which would make me a likely candidate for a C-section and pose some other risks as well.

 

Well, the good news is that the placenta no longer appears too close to the cervix!  What a relief!  We also learned that our baby is still very much a boy and very adorable.  He is measuring right on track in the 50th percentile.  My cervix is still long, which means I am not dilating or going into labor anytime soon (we hope).  In other words, everything looked perfect.  I was very much relieved, especially after the crazy symptoms I was having these past few weeks, and also because of my history of miscarriages and pre-term labor.  What a blessing to get these sneak-peaks of our little guy in the womb!  His profile and 3D image remind me so much of my other boys' ultrasounds, so I am guessing he will be a little carbon copy of his brothers :)  We are all eager to meet him, but we are praying that he stays put in my womb until full term!

 

Thank you for all your prayers!!!

 

 

24 week milestone

 



I'm happy to report that I have made it to my 24 week mark without being put on bedrest.  With my last pregnancy, I was put on bedrest at 21 weeks, so I was apprehensive how things would go this time around.  I do have frequent Braxton Hicks contractions, but nothing too regular.  At my appointment this week they checked to make sure I was not dilating, which I wasn't, so that was good news.  The bad news, however, is that I have been having other troubling symptoms for the past couple of weeks that have my OB a little concerned.  I've been feeling a lot of pressure or tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing, and heart palpitations.  With my blood clotting disorders, the doctor immediately wanted to make sure I wasn't having a blood clot in my lungs, so I had a CT scan to rule that out (thankfully!).  Now my OB wants me to see a cardiologist to do an ultrasound on my heart and to monitor my heart using a Holter monitor/EKG device for 48 hours.  Ugh!  I am hoping my symptoms will disappear before my appointment with the cardiologist so that I can cancel it.   My husband has been gone for a 2 week business trip, so I wonder if that caused extra anxiety which led to the symptoms I was having???  I am trying to take better care of myself this week by removing all caffeine, drinking lots of water (which I am terrible at!), and trying to rest and trust God as much as I can.  I'd appreciate any extra prayers you could send my way too--for peace in my heart, healing if there is something that needs to be healed, and for this sweet growing baby to be perfectly healthy.  THANK YOU!

Names

So now that we know God has given us a son, we start the struggle of choosing the "perfect" name, as if there truly is such a thing, but as parents we put so much weight in that decision for some reason.  Normally, Paul and I have chosen names for our children that are our favorite saints or Bible heroes.  I love the names we have chosen thus far---except for one factor that I didn't take into account:  how the names could be shortened into "cool" nicknames as they grew up.  I guess I just assumed my boys would love their full names like I do, that they would insist that their friends use their full, birth-given, Christian names.  But no.  No.  I have learned that once again my idealistic wishes don't always come true.  My sweet and handsome Joseph has become "Joe."  Joe!  It's hard for me to even type that name!  And my beautiful brown-eyed and feisty son Michael goes by the name of "Mike" everywhere except home.  Well, actually, even Joseph calls him "Mike" at home, and at times I wonder who he is talking about....we don't have any "Mikes" in this house.  "Mike" is my oldest brother in South Dakota, not my son in Montana.  And then there's fun-loving Dominic.  How could I have ever guessed he would become "Dom"???  "Nic" would have been bad enough, but no, he has adopted the nickname "Dom," and I'm embarrassed to say that I even catch myself calling him that.  It just happened and it stuck.  And last, but not least, our adorable Nathanael.  Such a beautiful sounding name, but all of us started calling him "Natey" as soon as he was brought home from the hospital.

I know nicknames are cute and it's something that just happens.  But it really does make me sad deep down that their saint names have disappeared from our tongues.  So...with baby #5, I am bound and determined to pick a holy saint or Bible name that CAN....NOT....BE.....SHORTENED.  Period.  I know you probably think I'm crazy, but for some crazy reason this is important to me, and I need YOUR help.  There just are not very many good-sounding, strong saint names that can't be shortened.  Here's the list I have come up with so far, but please help me add to this list if you can think of more.  So far, none of the names have captured my heart or my husband's, so we need brainstorming help before this little guy is born (which I'm paranoid might be soon because I'm already having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions!  Yikes!)

So here's our list, but please send more "unshortenable" names in the comment box below if you can think of any:

Justin, Caleb, Isaiah, Luke, Levi, John

It's a...

...BOY!!!
 

 

 

Today was my 19 week ultrasound, and we learned that God has blessed us with another sweet son!  The Lord must think this world needs more holy priests!  :)  Paul and the boys all came along to the appointment, and when the ultrasound tech told us the gender, none of us were surprised at all.   I was so relieved to learn that he looks perfectly healthy (after having 3 miscarriages I tend to have a lot of anxiety when I have an ultrasound).  The little guy sure put on a show for us; he did a headstand, sucked his thumb, and even stuck out his tongue at his brothers! :)  I am confident he will fit right in with his big brothers, and I feel at peace that this truly is God's will for our family. May our heavenly Father give my husband and I the grace to raise these boys to become holy gentlemen to love and serve Him as they grow up. We went out to celebrate at Chili's after the big appointment, and then in the evening the boys helped me make cupcakes with blue frosting for dessert...

 

 

Thank you all for your love and prayers...keep sending them our way...we'll need all the help we can get with FIVE boys running around our house soon!  The thought just occured to me that our Blessed Mother was "blessed among women," but I feel like I am very "blessed among boys"--ha ha!  :)

 

P.S.  And if any of you have daughters, perhaps you could invite me over for a very girly tea party someday----just so I can experience what that might be like! :}

 

Milestones...

Today is my 16 week milestone, which seems monumental to me for a few reasons:

1. I've made it past the date of my furthest-along miscarriage
2. I'm finally feeling better which naturally makes me happier about being pregnant (and happier, in general, which my family is very thankful for!)
3. I'm starting to feel the baby fluttering around inside which is helping me to finally bond with this sweet little miracle
4. At my appointment last week the nurse scheduled the "big" ultrasound, and I'm thrilled to have that date on my calendar and start counting down the days until we find out what we are having(Dec. 11th in case you're curious).  I think we will take the older boys out of school so that they can come to the ultrasound, meet their new little brother or sister on the screen, and then go out for pink or blue ice cream afterwards to celebrate the gender :) 

 

Here's me getting bigger by the moment it feels like...

 

See, doesn't my belly look even bigger 2 seconds after the first shot was taken?

 

And here's our little man in his big boy underwear!  When Paul was taking my picture, Nathanael wanted to get in the picture too.  Apparently, he is pretty proud of his big milestone:  he stayed dry all day in his big boy underpants---hurray!