Christmas Recap

A Merry and Blessed Christmas from our houseful to yours!

"Thanks be to God for His indescribable Gift!"

2 Corinthians 9:15

A heartfelt "Merry Christmas" to all of my friends, family, and random blog-readers out there!!!  :)  For any of you who were expecting a Christmas card in the mail from us this year...sorry, this is all you get! :}  I was too lazy, unorganized, and cheap to send out cards this year.  I think this is the first time in 14 years that I have skipped sending out cards, so it's a bit humbling for me...  But, it's also quite freeing to let go of my perfectionism and admit that I don't have it all together.  Nope, I didn't have it all together this Christmas, but at least I had Christ and this houseful of crazy boys, and that's all I really need.  So here's a quick recap of our Christmas...


I am happy to report that baby Jesus' manger had some hay in it to keep Him warm on Christmas day at our house!  I would have been even more pleased if there was more hay, but I think the tradition of adding hay for good deeds and losing hay for uncharitableness really made an impression on my boys' hearts, so at least the main goal was accomplished, right? :}

Christmas morning was simple and quiet at our home this year.  Grandma Jean left a few days before Christmas, so it was just "us."  The boys each had 3 small gifts to open, in honor of Jesus receiving 3 from the wise men.  We opened our gifts after Mass, after receiving Jesus in the flesh, the greatest Christmas Gift of all.   How I love being Catholic, especially at Christmas time!  Our Cathedral Church was simply magical...decorated in gold and white satin cascading from the ceiling, a gorgeous creche near the ambo, holy incense lifting our prayers heavenward, the organ praising God with the angels, and the altar always the center-stage for the miracle of Emmanuel coming down from heaven to be with us, resting on that altar just as real as He rested in that manger over 2000 years ago!   How blessed we are...even more blessed than those wise men or shepherds, for we not only get to see Him, we get to receive Him!  God is so good, so humble, so worthy of our love and praise!


Here is a recap of the boys' favorite gifts this year:

My favorite Christmas gift was going skiing with my boys.   We got dumped on with snow on Christmas Eve, so we truly had a lovely, "White Christmas."  The snow was powder-fresh, the cheesy-fries were hot, and the boys were not too embarrassed to ski with their mother (yet)!  :o)

Paul's favorite Christmas gift was starting the huge project of installing new flooring throughout the entire main floor of our house.  Yes, it will be loads of work, but somehow he is eager for the challenge!  I am so proud of him for tackling this enormous task.  He has to remove all the carpet in the living room, the ceramic tile in the entryway, and the old hardwood floor in the kitchen.   Then he has to put down new subflooring, and finally, install the new vinyl wood-looking planks!  Whew!  Because he will only be able to work in short increments at a time, it might take weeks or even months to complete, but he is saving us a bundle of money and I know it will look beautiful when it is complete!  Our hope is that this new look will help us to sell our house in the Spring, God-willing.

I admit that I did cry more than a tear or two this Christmas...  When will I ever pull myself together!?  I get homesick every holiday season, wishing we had family nearby to celebrate with us, and getting caught in the trap of wishing things were different rather than rejoicing in what I have.  I also have a hard time dealing with disappointment, and due to 3 of our kids being sick with terrible colds/coughs/fevers on Christmas Eve, we had to cancel our special dinner and music recital with dear friends of ours.  When I called them to cancel, I turned into a puddle of tears...hence, I was blessed with the gift of humiliation this Christmas too! The good news is that humiliation is the shortest path to humility, so I made some good progress this year! :o)  I really was a mess the days leading up to Christmas...it was a melancholy Christmas rather than a magical one for me.  But that's OK.  God was with me, my family was patient with me, and after going to confession twice in one week (gasp), I palpably felt God's mercy poured within me!  God is so good, and how I love Him so!

"We love Him because He first loved us!"

1 John 4:19

Pre-Christmas Highlights

Pre-Christmas-time is often a hectic, go-go-go-time, trying to get everything accomplished before the holidays.  I tend to get overwhelmed with finding the perfect presents for my kids, writing the perfect Christmas card with the perfect family photo, preparing a perfect holiday meal, while still trying to keep the focus on Christ somehow!?!?  Advent this year taught me that I can let go of perfectionism, and simply embrace the perfect Savior.  There is so much freedom in that!  Here are a few other things that helped our family to keep the Advent season Christ-centered:

1)  Our Advent devotional that we read as a family at night called "Bartholomew's Passage."  It has been a entertaining for all of us, and it really has great reflections at the end of each chapter to refocus our hearts on the true meaning of Christmas.

2)  We started a new tradition this year that I stole from my creative and holy friend Allison...  We have a tiny manger for baby Jesus, and each time I catch the boys doing a kind deed they get to put a piece of "hay" in the manger to make it soft and warm for baby Jesus.  However, if I catch the boys being selfish, unkind, or disobedient, they have to remove a piece of hay from the manger.  This has really been a concrete way to show the boys that their actions truly do effect Jesus.  Unfortunately, there have been a few days that many pieces of hay had to be removed...so I'm hoping and praying there will be some hay still left on Christmas morning when we place baby Jesus in the manger!  :}

3)  Last, but not least, Paul's mom came for a pre-Christmas trip that made Advent extra special.  Paul and I were even able to steal away for 2 nights while she babysat the kids!  We went to Whitefish, MT and stayed at a fancy resort that was so relaxing that I truly felt guilty being there!  We were able to eat at two fancy restaurants, soak in the hot tub at night, and I even was able to pamper myself at the spa by getting a facial (which actually back-fired on me and made my face break out for the next week!  Was that God's way of telling that I was being vain?)  But the best part was just having some quiet time to re-connect with my husband again.  With 5 kids in the house, we rarely have time to focus on "us," so this trip was truly one of the best Christmas presents ever!  Thank you so much, Grandma Jean!!!

Here are some highlights of our Advent season:

Paul with his mom, Jean.

We are so thankful she came to see the kids and give us a mini-vacation!

Here's my handsome husband, as we went on a walk in the woods, his favorite place to be!

It was sweet falling in love with him all over again...

I hope he felt the same way about me! :)

Me with a huckleberry margarita and one of the fanciest meals I've ever had!

How nice it was to not have to cook or cut up anyone's food (except my own)!

Michael got one of his greatest Christmas gifts ever...

he got his braces taken off a few days before Christmas!!!

To be honest, even though Christmas is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year,"

I really battle feelings of melancholy and loneliness.  We have no family nearby and I get homesick.

I have to search hard to find the beauty around me and constantly remind myself to be grateful for the many gifts I have been blessed with...

Thankfully, I don't have to search too hard to find reasons to smile!  :o)

These silly kids fill me with joy and gratitude daily!

Leading their little souls to Jesus is the greatest privilege on earth!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MAY GOD FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH MANY REASONS 

TO REJOICE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!

1st Communion and Spiritual Communion

This will be a very special year for Dominic because he is preparing to receive Jesus in the most holy Sacrament of the Eucharist in the Spring.  I am so thrilled that he has a fun and faith-filled teacher for his 1st Communion class on Wednesday nights.  His teacher is one of my best friends named Beth.  Beth is a convert to Catholicism and her soul is simply aflame with love for Jesus and His Church.  One of the benefits of having my friend Beth as Dominic's teacher is that I get to come help in the classroom occasionally.  I found some great 1st Communion craft ideas at the blog:  www.catholicicing.com, and I asked Beth if I could help the class make a monstrance craft to remind the kids that Jesus is really present in the bread that they will receive for the 1st Communion.  The craft was simple, yet stunningly beautiful, and Dominic was so proud to have his mommy be the helper!  :o)

I hope Dominic and all the 1st Communicants will remember what a precious gift we have as Catholics---the gift of receiving God Himself into our bodies at every Mass, and the opportunity to be physically near Jesus every time we visit a tabernacle or a monstrance at a Catholic Church!  To paraphrase what Mother Teresa once said, "Time spent adoring Jesus in the most Blessed Sacrament is the best time you will ever spend on earth!"

Another enormous blessing we have as Catholics is that we can make a spiritual Communion with Jesus any time we want to!  I recently learned about this profound privilege in the book, "Jesus, Our Eucharistic Love," by Fr. Steffano Manelli.  I had heard about spiritual Communion before, but never fully appreciated its merit until reading this book.    Here is a little excerpt:

"Spiritual Communion is always available for lovers of the Eucharistic Jesus.  By means of spiritual Communion, the loving desires of the soul that wants to be united with Jesus, its dear Bridegroom, are satisfied.  Spiritual Communion is a union of love between the soul and Jesus in the Host.  This union is spiritual but nonetheless real, more real than the union between the soul and the body, because the soul lies more where it loves than where it lives, says St. John of the Cross.

As is evident, spiritual Communion assumes that we have faith in the Real Presence of Jesus in the tabernacle.  It implies that we would like sacramental Communion, and it demands a gratitude for Jesus' gift of this Sacrament.  All this is expressed simply and briefly in the prayer of St. Alphonsus:

• My Jesus, I believe that You are really present in the most Holy Sacrament.  I love You above all things, and I desire to possess You within my soul.  Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart.  I embrace You as being already there and unite myself wholly to You.  Never, never permit me to be separated from You.  Amen.

Jesus once said to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, the saint so assiduous in directing her burning desires to Him within the tabernacle:  So dear to Me is a soul's desire to receive Me, that I hasten to it each time it summons Me by its yearnings.  

Many of the saints adopted the practice of making countless spiritual Communions every day, and even woke themselves up in the middle of the night to make more spiritual Communions!  Let us learn from the saints.  They would like to pass on to us some spark of the love burning in their hearts.  Let us undertake to make many spiritual Communions...  Then soon the fire of love will enkindle us.  As St. Leeonard once said:  If you practice the holy exercise of spiritual Communion several times each day, within a month you will see your heart completely changed.

Let us all embrace this holy practice of making many spiritual Communions each day!  May our hearts be changed...transformed into hearts burning with love for Jesus and love for all souls (especially souls who do not love Jesus yet)!  This change of heart could change our families, our communities, our world!  I love being Catholic...I love Jesus in the Eucharist!!!  I hope you are growing more in  love with Him this Advent season, too!  :o)

Still Searching...but getting closer perhaps!

Those of you who have followed my blog for long (or who know me well), know that I have been searching for joy and fighting anxiety and depression for quite a few years.  Years of trying to pray myself through the clouds just has not cleared them away, and when I have tried to seek advice from doctors I have found the experience frustrating when they simply hand me a prescription rather helping me find and fix the source of the problem.  My hunch all these years is that unbalanced hormones have a role in my struggles because I have a history of low progesterone during my pregnancies (which may have caused my 3 miscarriages), and low progesterone is also known to cause postpartum depression (which I suffer from every time I have a baby).  When I asked my OBGyn about checking my hormone levels a year ago she told me that "hormones are just too tricky to test," but she was happy to offer me prescriptions for contraception pills and anti-depressants.  I kindly declined and left feeling stranded once again.  A year has gone by and I have kept on praying, clinging to Sacramental graces (especially the Eucharist), and uniting my suffering with Christ's---all of which has helped me to love Him more and rely on Him more (which I am eternally grateful for!).  But, I finally reached a point about a month ago where I felt God asking me to search for a doctor who might be able to help me find some healing so that I can be a happier wife, mother, and woman again.

So I picked up the phone and called a natural doctor in town, and I learned from his secretary that he specializes in treating women's hormones.  I was overjoyed!  My first appointment with him was so different than all of my other appointments with traditional doctors.  This doctor truly listened and shared a wealth of wisdom with me.  He asked me to explain all my symptoms, and then he looked at my medical history and family history thoroughly.  He immediately suspected low progesterone and had my hormones tested that same day!  He explained all the different ways to test hormones, and he said that reading the results is easy for doctors who understand the normal fluctuations in a woman's cycle to determine the correct range that her hormones should be in (I am baffled why my OBGyn was unable or unwilling to do this!?!?).  The next week the results came back:  my progesterone was slightly low (surprise, surprise)!  Therefore, he put me on a bio-identical progesterone cream that should help balance my hormones (and moods!) tremendously.  He said that low progesterone results in estrogen dominance which can lead to all the symptoms I had mentioned, and ultimately it can lead to fibroid uterine tumors and a complete hysterectomy, which is exactly what happened to my mom and all of her sisters.  I was so relieved to know that balancing my hormones now might help me to avoid a hysterectomy in the future!

The other huge thing that the natural doctor honed in on is the fact that I have 3 blood clotting disorders:  MTHFR (which stands for methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase), Factor V, and Prothrombin.  He immediately wanted to discuss the first one on that list (MTHFR) and it's possible connection to the symptoms I've been having.  He explained that people who have MTHFR have an inability to process folate and folic acid (folic acid is the synthetic form or folate) and this causes all sorts of negative side effects (miscarriages, blood clots, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, etc).  I explained to the doctor that ever since I got diagnosed with my 3 blood clotting disorders I was told by my OBGyn to take mega-doses of folic acid and the B-vitamins, as well as taking a baby aspirin, which should help to prevent future miscarriages (the reason I got tested for these clotting disorders was because I just had my 3rd miscarriage).  Here's the kicker...  The natural doctor went on to explain that those high doses of folic acid that I've been taking are probably a huge part of the problems I am having!  Apparently, people with MTHFR have trouble processing folate and they have an even harder time processing folic acid because it is synthetic and is not the "activated" form that our bodies really need.  The human body has to convert folic acid into folate in order to use it.  But if you have MTHFR, your body can't convert the synthetic folic acid and it builds up in your system causing things like:  anxiety, depression, hormonal imbalance, thyroid problems, cancer...and the list goes on and on and on!  I never knew there was a difference between folate and folic acid (and the sad thing is that most doctors don't understand the difference which is why my OB has inadvertently been telling me to take mego-doses of something that is bad for my body!!!).  However, all the research shows that there is a HUGE difference between folic acid and folate, and for people who have MTHFR, the difference can be devastating.  What makes it even more devastating is that since 1998, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has been requiring food manufacturers to ADD folic acid to all grain products, such as cereal, bread, flour, and pasta.  It has also been added to almost all multi-vitamins on the market.  Basically, folic acid has been marketed as a "good" thing by using the terms "enriched" and "fortified" on the label, when it really is un-natural and bad for our bodies, especially people with MTHFR (which happens to be over 60% of the population!)  Grrrrr!

So, to make a long story a bit shorter, folic acid is a big NO-NO for me and I now have to avoid it as much as possible.  Yes, that means a nearly gluten-free diet...YIKES!!!  The natural doctor told me to take natural activated folate supplements (L-5-Methyltetrahydrofolate) instead of the folic acid supplements I was taking, and to eat as much folate-rich foods as possible:  spinach, lentils, asparagus, beans, broccoli, citrus fruits, avocado, nuts,  etc.  He also recommended a natural supplement of 5-HTP (5-Hydroxytryptophan), which is a chemical by-product of the protein building block L-tryptophan.  Yes, tryptophan is the stuff in turkeys that gives you the sleepy-happy feeling after the Thanksgiving meal... :)  Apparently, it also helps people with anxiety and depression by naturally triggering the production of serotonin.  Heck, if it's like having a tasty Thanksgiving meal every day, it's worth a try!

Perhaps learning about my low progesterone and my MTHFR disorder are two very important pieces to my "happiness puzzle."  Perhaps there are other missing pieces that I still need to discover.  And perhaps it's simply God's will for me to have a little bit of suffering in this world to help me grow closer to His Sacred and Suffering Heart.  If the latter is the case, I will strive to embrace His Divine Will joyfully, but in the meantime, I am very grateful that God has guided me to this natural doctor who may help me find some healing and happiness on this side of heaven.  My motto will continue to be:  "Jesus, I trust in You!!!"  :)

There are so many great articles I stumbled across while researching my MTHFR disorder.  If you have MTHFR and would like to read more about it, here are a couple of my favorite websites:

http://www.freshideamama.com/mthfr-since-40-60-of-the-population-has-this-condition-and-it-is-the-underlying-cause-for-many-chronic-illnesses-shouldnt-we-all-be-getting-tested

http://www.mthfrsupport.com/mthfr-facts/

http://mthfrliving.com/health-tips/mthfr-avoid-folic-acid-in-food/