Dear Kids: What I want you to remember about Christmas...

Dear Kids,

There's so much I want you to remember about Christmas, about our family traditions, about our beliefs, about what Christmas should be about.  Here are some things I am trying to plant in your memories, hoping they grow and blossom in your hearts until you start sowing new memories in your own families someday...

What I hope you know most of all is that Christmas is about Christ, the Light of the World, sent to save us from the darkness of sin and death!  Christmas is not only a celebration of Christ's birth, but also a reminder to make room in our hearts for Him because He will come again to take those who believe in Him to heaven.  Every year my biggest Christmas wish for you, my children, is for you to give your hearts to Jesus so that we can all be together in Heaven for eternity.

Kids, we hope to teach you that Christmas is NOT about presents and asking a make-believe jolly old man in a red suit for all the toys you want him to bring you from the North Pole.  Our family believes in honoring the real St. Nicholas who loved Jesus so much that he wanted to share that love with everyone through his generosity, especially to the poor and those in need of hope and love.  We don't give you kids toys from Santa; rather we try to teach you who St. Nicholas was and what he believed in.  He believed in Jesus and in sharing Jesus' love with others.  The world wants you to believe that Christmas is about presents and selfish wish-lists, a fallacy that I sometimes fall into each year as I stress about picking the perfect presents for everyone and getting them ordered on time.  Even I need to be reminded of the truth that if we had no presents at all under our Christmas tree, we would still have abundant reason to rejoice:  EMMANUEL--GOD IS WITH US!  Each year I become more and more convicted of this and try to give you less and less presents.  The past few years we have tried to give you only 3 gifts, for that is all that Jesus received on his birthday from the wise men.  If Jesus only got 3 gifts, who are we to expect more?  It's not even our birthday, after all!  Daddy and I are trying to keep the focus on Whose birthday we are celebrating; therefore, each year we gather you around a gift catalog to choose a present for Jesus.  Jesus was poor and loved the poor very much, so we choose a gift for the poorest of the poor.  This year we bought the gift of life-giving water, a water purification system, to a poor family in a faraway country through an organization called Compassion International.  We pray that it brings joy and health to a very special family and that it brought joy to Jesus, the birthday Boy, too.

Each year I want to strive to make Christmas more about giving than getting.  I was so proud of you boys this year as I witnessed you giving away your own money and home-made gifts to your brothers, sneaking your gifts of love inside their stockings when you thought no one was looking.  That warmed my heart more than you can imagine. Deep down though, I know there is so much more we could be doing as a family...baking goodies to bring to neighbors, friends, and strangers in need of some kindness, or visiting nursing homes to bring them joy through our smiles and our music, or inviting a needy family over to share our Christmas meal, or so many more Christ-centered acts of sharing the spirit of Christmas... I am filled with so many good intentions, but so far I have failed at following through...  Perhaps you kids can help me each year to bring some of these ideas to fruition.

Even though Christmas is not about gifts, it was special to see the joy in your faces when you received the small, simple gifts that we gave you.  How thankful I was that your attitudes were not greedy; rather, they were thankful.  Joseph loved the Lord of the Rings piano book, the Christian tie, and the Cardinals shirt that he was given.  Michael loved the robe that mommy made for him, the new Cabrera shirt, and the Cranium Bible Edition board game that he received.  Dominic was delighted in the Perplexus game and the Planes DVD that he got.  Nathanael liked the pizza set, the new castle accessories, and the candy in his stocking.  Isaiah just loved the excitement in the air and the new things to chew on.  You kids didn't receive much, but you were thankful, and that was the greatest gift you could have given me and daddy.

I also want you to remember that Christmas is about family, spending quality time together and just loving each other while doing simple things.  Things like sledding and playing in the snow, driving around town to look at Christmas lights, and just playing games together.  The  family is where we first learn how to love, and then we start sharing that love outside the home.  I know sometimes we drive each other crazy, sometimes there are selfish squabbles and fights, but even those moments can be lessons of learning to die to self in order to serve others, and hopefully we carry those lessons outside our walls...carry Christ outside our home to all other people that cross our paths.

I have to admit that I failed this year to find true Christmas joy because I was wishing that I could be with my parents and my siblings, wishing I could recapture the Christmas memories of my youth, wishing I could receive rather than give.  It took me a couple of days and a lot of tears to realize that I was missing the point of Christmas.  Yes, Christmas is partly about family, but that doesn't mean I need to be surrounded by every single member of my family that I love.  I need to be thankful for the family God has blessed me with both near and far, to find joy in my husband and my beautiful children, to be grateful for the gifts in front of me instead of wishing for things beyond my reach.  Uhg, I'm a slow learner...hopefully, I do better next Christmas in this area.

This Christmas Paul's mom was able to celebrate with us, and what a blessing she was in so many ways!  She brought so much joy to our kids by spending so much quality time with each of them.  She also took loads of stress off my shoulders as she took care of Isaiah non-stop and helped with dishes, cooking, and laundry.  And she gave Paul and I an extra-special present by letting us leave for an over-night romantic getaway in Bozeman!  We spent the day skiing "the Cold Smoke" at Bridger Bowl and spent the evening enjoying a 5-star meal and soaking in our very own jacuzzi.  It was just what our marriage needed and my heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude!  JOY, GRATITUDE and JESUS...that's what Christmas is all about.  Daddy and I hope that we imparting to you the true meaning of Christmas so that you will hold these memories in your heart and live the Christmas message not just once a year, but each and every day in between too.  We love you and wish you many merry Christmases to come!  Thank you for making ours merry--very!

out of the darkness

Christmas lights and glowing candles make me happy.  They also have reminded me how great it feels to be out of the darkness (i.e. my many months of postpartum depression) and back into the light.  I do have to say though, that I'm learning to be thankful for even my dark days, which still happen occasionally, because it is in the darkness that I discover just how much I need God, and in the darkness that His love and light shine the brightest.

During this most recent postpartum period of darkness I felt closer to Christ than I think I ever have before.  I knew He was with me.  I felt His arms holding me while I cried.  I found the strength through His grace to get up each morning when I didn't want to.  I trusted that His love was enough even though my feelings felt otherwise.  And it was. His love was abundantly enough.  Just like our fresh-from-the-forest Christmas tree looks more beautiful in the night when its lights pierce the darkness, I am learning that God's love can illuminate even the dark night of my soul and turn my darkness into a beautiful light--the warm, glowing light of love and mercy.

How good it feels to have hope again and to be able to laugh and love my family without just going through the motions!  Thank you again to all of you out there who have helped pray me out of the darkness.  How blessed we are as Christians to have the Light of the World within us, to shine through us and illuminate the darkness around us!  I pray that many more souls will find the saving light of Christ this Christmas and in the new year, perhaps through the humble witness of souls like me and souls like you--souls who have experienced both darkness and light.  As the apostle Peter said to Christians centuries ago, "For you are God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of the darkness into his marvelous light." (1 Peter 2:9)

May my life and yours be a litany of praises to Him who brought us out of darkness and into His marvelous light!

Advent Blessings!!!

Advent Traditions...some old, some new

I love Advent...especially the traditions that prepare my heart and my children's hearts for the miracle of Christmas.  This year, we've kept some of our old traditions, but also added a few new ones that I think will become part of our Advent season for years to come.

First the old:

1.  Lighting the Advent candles each week.  The boys love to take turns lighting the candles and blowing them out.  Funny how it's exciting every year to light a new candle each week as we think about Jesus, the Light of the World, entering our world as a tiny baby and wondering when He will come again.  Try to ignore the fact that my candles this year are white...  I couldn't find purple and pink at the store, and I didn't feel like going to search at another store, so I bought what was available.  The kids don't seem to mind, so I'm trying not to mind either :)

2.  Opening up a door each day on our Advent calendar to find the special magnet and treats inside.  Actually, now that we have FIVE kids, I can't fit 5 pieces of candy inside, so we've had to modify the tradition a bit. Nathanael is the one who gets to put the Nativity scene magnet on the calendar, and then each boy picks a piece of candy out of a candy bucket.  Then we read our Advent devotional, which is a new one this year...

3.  A friend of mine lent me her family's favorite devotional for Advent called "Jothom's Journey."  It's a historical fictional tale that really engages kids' minds and points their hearts to the deepest meaning of Christmas.  I know the author is a top-notch story-teller because at the end of each day's "chapter," my boys beg me to read ahead to the next day's chapter because they want to know what happens!  :)   Apparently, there are 3 books in this series that you can use for Advent, so next year we will probably buy one of the other stories:  "Tabitha's Travels" or "Bartholomew's Passage".

4. Another new tradition for our family this year has been the making of a Jesse Tree.  I remember doing a Jesse tree in school as a child and I've always wanted to share the experience with my children.  This year, thanks to my mom buying us a "Jesse tree kit" from the Catholic book store, we are finally making it happen. Dominic is the the most excited about this tradition and loves coloring the ornaments for the tree.

5.  "Nativity Scene Hide and Seek" is a new tradition that we have started which I stole from my dear friend Jenny (she's always full of good ideas!)  For this tradition, you need a child-friendly nativity scene.  You'll need to put the baby Jesus away somewhere until he is born in the stable on Christmas day.  And then each morning you "hide" Mary and Joseph somewhere in your house for your kids to find.  You explain to your kids that Mary and Joseph had to travel many days in order to get to Bethlehem, so for each day of Advent Mary and Joseph will be "traveling" through our home until they reach the stable.  It has turned into such a fun game for each of the boys to find Mary and Joseph each morning.  When Christmas Eve morning arrives, the kids will find Mary and Joseph in the stable with the other nativity figures (except baby Jesus, of course!).  And then on Christmas morning, along with finding all of their Christmas presents beneath the tree, the kids will find baby Jesus laying in the manger---the Greatest Gift of ALL!

The Hunting Harvest Recap

Well, hunting season is over.  Some of us are mourning, others are celebrating (I won't name any names)... ;) This year was extra special because it was Joseph's first year as an official hunter.  He aced his hunter safety course and was eager to pull the trigger to fill our freezer with meat.  Paul took Joseph out hunting many times; however, his season ended with no meat, but lots of good exercise hiking in the mountains and some great father-son bonding.  I consider that still a successful season.  Paul went out hunting a few times without Joseph as well, and was able to harvest one nice buck.  Paul was a bit disappointed that he finished another season without shooting an ever-elusive elk, but at least our freezer has some meat, so we are blessed.

I just couldn't make myself take a picture of the dead buck hanging in our garage, but I did manage to get a sweet shot of this handsome father-son hunting duo...

The Definition of Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, and as my husband and children attended Mass this morning I was reminded of what the word "Eucharist" literally means.  I remember reading in Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts that the Greek word "eucharisteo" means "thanksgiving."  Ann isn't a Catholic, but some of her insights strike me as being profoundly Catholic, especially the way she loves the concept of "eucharisteo" and giving thanks in all things.  I was wishing Ann could be at Mass today and heard the priest's prayer right before we received the Eucharist.  He said: 

"It is indeed right and just,

our duty and our salvation,

always and everywhere to give you thanks,

 holy Father, almighty and eternal God, through Jesus Christ our Lord." 

I was wishing Ann could experience receiving the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.  How thankful she would be to have God within her in that special way!  I believe the Eucharist is the greatest gift God has given us on this earth, and I am more thankful for it (I mean Him) than anything else.  He is my Bread of Life that sustains me.  He is all we really need, and yet He blesses us with so much more!  I have so much to be thankful for.  Even though we didn't celebrate with any family or friends this year, our Thanksgiving was full of blessings:  sleeping in, not having to clean our house for company, hot waffles for breakfast, playing at the park in the afternoon, my husband cooking us steaks for our Thanksgiving meal (which meant I didn't have to cook!), and best of all, receiving Jesus at Mass.  Today was truly a day of "eucharisteo", a day of Thanksgiving!

In case you want to read some great quotes from various saints about the treasure we have in the Eucharist, simply click on the link below and it will guide you to 15 pages(!!!) worth of beautiful quotes.  I wish I could memorize them all!!!

http://www.therealpresence.org/eucharst/tes/a7.html

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Trinity Taco Tuesday

For the past few months our family has started a new tradition that we all love and look forward to each week. We call it "Trinity Taco Tuesday." As soon as Paul gets home from work, we all pile into the car and drive just a few blocks down the road to Trinity Chapel to visit Jesus. Yes, He is really there. We can see Him.  We can feel Him. How the kids love to rush into the chapel and be the first one to open the wooden doors of the tabernacle, as if they are opening God's arms to receive a loving embrace. Embraced we are. What a gift we have as Catholics to know that our God is waiting for us to visit Him anytime in any tabernacle in the world, waiting to pour graces into our hearts as we sit in His Real Presence. This chapel is extra special because Jesus is not just hidden inside the tabernacle, He is visible in a golden monstrance that we are blessed to adore behind a thin piece of glass. We get to gaze right at our God who wants to be with us so much that he humbles Himself to be inside a simple piece of bread!

 

 

It has been beautiful watching our children experience the awe and wonder of spending time with Jesus in this way. Each week we pray a little bit differently. Some days we pray the rosary, some days the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  Some days we recite the Divine Praises, and some days we just talk to Him from our hearts.  Some days we just sit with Him in silence (well, as silent as it can be with a baby babbling and a 3-year-old playing with the kneeler). The main reason for starting this tradition was to impart to our children the truth that Jesus is really with us in the Eucharist like He said at the Last Supper, and also for our kids to learn to be comfortable talking to God like a friend who is really there. Talking to Him while looking at Him in the monstrance seems to make my kids truly aware of His Presence unlike just praying at home around the dinner table or in the living room or laying in bed.

 

 

I was a little bit shocked when I asked our boys to pray out loud from their hearts while looking at Jesus in the monstrance for the first time. One of the boys became visibly embarrassed and simply couldn't find any words to say. He honestly didn't know how to talk to God without a memorized form of prayer to recite. Yikes! I was convicted at that moment that our family needs to practice praying impromptu more often so that we all become comfortable talking to Jesus like the best friend He wants to be to each of us. I think that is one thing many Catholics are weak at doing:  having a personal relationship with Christ that allows us to pray to Him like a friend or a brother. Watching my boys struggle with finding words to talk to Jesus reminded me that every relationship takes work and practice. Marriage takes a whole lot of practice in learning to listen and communicate well if it's going to last. Best friends only stay best friends if they keep talking and sharing their joys and struggles with each other on a regular basis. The same is true with our relationship with The Lord...it takes practice and spending a lot of time with Him so that we can grow closer to His heart and listen to the loving guidance He so desperately wants to give us to help us find true joy in this life and in the next.

Anyway, it has been beautiful spending time as a family in the Presence of Jesus at Trinity chapel. It's something that I've wanted to do for years and we finally made a commitment to make it happen.  I hope we continue this tradition for a long time so that even after our boys are grown they will always remember how important it is to spend time with Jesus---especially when they are struggling and in need of some extra grace.  I want them to know and live these words of Blessed Mother Teresa:

 

 "The time you spend with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is the best time that you will spend on earth." 

 

 

To make our Tuesdays even sweeter, we decided to go our for tacos after our visit with Jesus! The kids love it because they get tacos and soda, Paul loves it because of the potato oles, and I love it because I don't have to cook! It's a win, win, win situation!

 

 

Happy Trinity Taco Tuesday!

 

Our Zoo

I haven't been doing very well at giving monthly updates on our little Isaiah...  Nor have done well at taking pictures of his adorable face...  My excuse:  BUSY-NESS.  Wow, I never imagined how busy I would be with 5 boys!  Our house is like a ZOO, but thankfully I always loved going to zoos and I also am an animal lover, so I guess being a zookeeper is the perfect job for me!  :) 

So even though this is long overdue, here is an update on the sweetest member of our crazy zoo.  Isaiah continues to be a joy and a delight to everyone in the house.  He is mellow and happy 99.9% of the time.  He just got his first two teeth a couple days apart from each other--the two bottom ones.  This means he just loves chewing on everything right now!  He loves to roll onto his side or tummy to reach things, but then prefers to roll right back onto his back to start chewing on whatever he found.  I'm starting to wonder if this kid will ever crawl because he has no desire at all to be on his tummy.  Oh well, I'm in no hurry for him to crawl...  I like the fact that I can leave the room and know that he can't get into too much trouble!  :)  He also learned how to sit up unaided this past week, which he loves because he now has a better view of the zoo in which he lives! :)  He is completely weaned and loves his bottle.  And I'm very happy to report that he is now sleeping beautifully (only waking up once during the night for a bottle, then going right back to bed).  This makes the zookeeper much more patient with all the members of the zoo, which makes everyone happier.  :o)

Well, I think that is a recap of all of his new tricks.  I'll try to be better at my monthly updates, but no promises.  After all, it's more important that I keep this zoo under control!  Pray for me!!!

Message from Medjugorje

During my senior year in high school I was blessed to go on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje in Bosnia where the Blessed Virgin Mary has allegedly been appearing to 6 young visionaries since 1981.  Although the Catholic Church has not yet made an official ruling as to whether or not the apparitions are authentically from God, I have no doubt in my heart that Our Lady is appearing there to give the world very important messages of peace, love, and repentance in order to draw the world closer to her Son.  During Mary's last apparition with the visionary named Mirjana on November 2nd, this was the message she wanted to share with the world, and I felt it was worth sharing too:



"Dear children! Anew, in a motherly way, I am calling you to love; to continually pray for the gift of love; to love the Heavenly Father above everything. When you love Him you will love yourself and your neighbor. This cannot be separated. The Heavenly Father is in each person. He loves each person and calls each person by his name. Therefore, my children, through prayer hearken to the will of the Heavenly Father. Converse with Him. Have a personal relationship with the Father which will deepen even more your relationship as a community of my children – of my apostles. As a mother I desire that, through the love for the Heavenly Father, you may be raised above earthly vanities and may help others to gradually come to know and come closer to the Heavenly Father. My children, pray, pray, pray for the gift of love because 'love' is my Son. Pray for your shepherds that they may always have love for you as my Son had and showed by giving His life for your salvation. Thank you."

Black and White

One of the most difficult parts of marriage for me has been learning how to handle our differences.  Some days I feel like Paul and I are as different as black and white.  Had he and I taken a compatibility test before we met, we probably would have never gone on a first date.  God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?   Perhaps he wanted to use our marriage to prove that, sure enough, ALL things are possible with His grace!  :)

So the other day I was interiorly making a litany of all the things Paul and I don't have in common.  I was getting quite depressed about my list, and then as if put there to prove my point about how irreconcilably different we are, I noticed our two coffee cups sitting side by side... 

His:  ink black
Mine:  creamy white

So I pointed this out to him and said, "Look, even our coffee shows how different we are!  How are we going to make our marriage work!?"

He immediately grabbed both cups of coffee and calmly dumped some of his into my cup, and some of mine into his cup, making a bit of a mess in the process, and then he set them down and said, "That's how." 

Darn it.  He was right again.  I guess I had assumed that when we became sacramentally "one" on our wedding day, that we would become like the same person and live "happily ever after" from that day forward.   Ha!  Little did I know that being "one" is a lifetime process of sacrificing for one another, patiently putting up with our differences, and forgiving the spills and sinful messes that happen along the way.   Maybe our marriage is not as "happily ever after" as I had hoped it would be, but it's a whole lot "holier ever after," and that's all that matters in the end.

Lessons from the Leaves

The season of Fall reminds me that I can either lament the fading colors of the falling leaves and the impending cold winter, or I can dive into the leaves with childlike joy and just live in the moment. 

It's always a matter of perspective and focusing on what really matters.

I'm learning that joy is a choice, not a feeling.  There are a million things surrounding me that I can choose to be joyful about...like Nathanael's sweet face!  :)

I'm so thankful for my children (and the leaves) for teaching me these profound truths!

 

Have a Joy-Filled Fall!

called to prayer AND action

After learning about the tragedy in the Philippines, I have felt helpless.  Sure, our family has been sending many prayers that direction, but it hit me today that perhaps we are called to do more than just pray.  The Catholic convert and blogger Jennifer Fulwiler (www.conversiondiary.com) posted this a few days ago, and it inspired me to pray and act, so I'm sharing it for others who feel called to do the same.  I'd also love to hear any other ideas of ways we can help the people in the Philippines...so please leave your ideas in the comment box if you have any!

For those who would like to help the relief effort, you can donate to Catholic Relief Services, which has a strong presence in the Philippines. They note that the recent earthquake has strained their resources, and they’re in dire need of financial support.

A prayer from the CRS website:

God who quiets great winds and stills rough seas
We ask your protection for the people of the Philippines.
Comfort them in their fear.
Stay close to them in their danger.
And we ask the intercession of Your Blessed Mother
That together with her and with all your holy saints
We may stand in solidarity with our Filipino brothers and sisters
through their darkest hour, through their longest night.
Give us the courage to remain steadfast
To reach out to them in their need
To comfort them in their sorrow
To hold them as closely as You hold them
To see them through to morning. Amen.

THREE!!!

My oh my, how time flies when you're having fun!  Our fun-loving Nathanael turned THREE today.  Since the day he was born, he has blessed our home with a JOY that we didn't even know was missing.  Nathanael makes everyone in our home smile and laugh with his antics, his innocence, his dimpled chin, his funny faces, and his munchkin voice.

We had a very simple celebration for him today, but I'm pretty certain he didn't mind.  Nathanael is our home-body.  He just loves playing with his toys and being with his family.  So after Mass, I stopped by the grocery store to get him some red, white, and blue cupcakes with sprinkles on top---he loves sprinkles.  Then we came home, sang "Happy Birthday," ate some cupcakes, and opened a few little presents.  He entertained himself the rest of the day with his new toys.

How I wish I could keep this little guy little and bottle up the joy he brings. But I know that's not possible and that joy is not meant to be hoarded, but rather to be shared.  I know that Nathanael will continue to fill our home and our hearts with joy, and I pray that each year that he understands even more deeply how much he is loved--both by God and by his family.  

Thank you, God, for blessing us with Nathanael. 

He is sweeter than a cupcake with sprinkles on top!