Who Needs Toys?

The other day I let Dominic play at the sink while I was getting supper ready. I forgot how much kids love playing in water! He kept himself entertained for nearly an hour...which kept his mommy happy too! I got so much done, and I'm sure he learned more playing with water than he would've watching a video or playing with other over-rated, fancy toys! It was a reminder that kids truly don't need "toys," they just need household items to foster their creativity!

Advent Message from Mary

The following is the latest message that the Blessed Virgin Mary gave to one of the visionaries in Medjugorje. The message is so fitting for this Advent season and simply too beautiful not to share. For those of you unfamiliar with Medjugorje, you can click here for the history of these miraculous apparitions that have been occurring daily since 1981. I was very blessed to be able to visit Medjugorje my junior year in high school (1995). I had the privilege of meeting 2 of the visionaries, and was present in St. James Church church during one of the daily apparitions of the Blessed Mother. I went to Medjugorje right after Christmas, so this time of the year always brings back very warm memories of my pilgrimage there.

"Dear children. At this time of preparation and joyful expectation I, as a mother, desire to point you to what is the most important, to your soul. Can my Son be born in it? Is it cleansed by love from lies, arrogance, hatred and malice? Above all else, does your soul love God as your Father and does it love your fellow brother in Christ? I am pointing you to the way which will raise your soul to a complete union with my Son. I desire for my Son to be born in you. What a joy that would be for me as mother. Thank you."
(December 2, 2009 Message to Mirjana)

Retreat Revisited

OK, I think it's been long enough for me to pull my thoughts together and share with you what I learned on my Cursillio retreat. This Thanksgiving weekend reminded me how thankful I am to have experienced such a beautiful time away with the Lord. A person should really participate in a retreat every year to simply be still and be reminded that God is God. I have to honestly say that I went into the retreat with fairly low expectations and selfish motives. I had done many SEARCH retreats in high school which follow a very similar format to the Cursillo retreats, so I thought that I knew all the “surprises” to expect. I also felt that I already had an intimate relationship with Jesus, so I was mainly attending the retreat to “escape” from my motherhood routine and responsibilities for a few days (is that so wrong?).

Well, I have to say that I truly was surprised by what God whispered in my heart over the weekend. He exceeded my expectations in ways I did not expect. He showed me that I still have a lot to learn about loving Him and the depth of His love for me. He showed me many souls who were completely broken when they came on the retreat and who were healed with His love and grace by the end of the weekend. He also showed me that He wants me to be His hands and reach out to those broken souls too. He showed me that I am His bride when I come to the altar to receive Him in the Eucharist. He showed me that He is truly present in the consecrated Host and that he wants me to consecrate my life to Him daily. He showed me how intensely my husband loves me and convicted me to be more thankful for him in my life. He showed me that my children can survive just fine without me and that I need to let them feel their daddy’s love by getting out of the way more often. :) He also showed me that I need to get out of the way in my marriage and let my husband be the spiritual head that God has called him to be. I am in awe by what God is doing in my heart and in my husband heart because of our Cursillo retreats. I am so thankful that Paul and I both said “yes” to the Cursillo experience so that we can share the fruits of it together. God is good. How refreshing to be reminded of that in such a real way. A couple of weeks have gone by since my retreat, and I can already feel Satan trying to steal away my joy. Please help me pray that I can continue to live out what I have learned and share the joy of the Lord with the world!

Full of Thanksgiving

Here is a powerful YouTube video that highlights the amazing visit from David Bereit, the National Director of 40 Days for Life, to Kalispell, MT last Friday. He came to celebrate the CLOSURE of Kalispell's Planned Parenthood, which I truly believe occurred due to the 24 hour prayer vigil of 40 Days for Life participants there. I was able to attend this exciting event, and if you look closely during the video, you may see glimpses of me in my long, light blue coat and winter hat :) I became quite emotional at the event...truly in awe at our awesome God who chose our beautiful state of Montana to show his glory and his might by closing down an abortion mill. David Bereit very eloquently and humbly gives God all the glory and compares this pro-life battle to the battle of David and Goliath. I pray that you listen to his words and find hope and encouragement, as well as another reason to be thankful this Thanksgiving season! (In order to hear the YouTube clip, you'll need to scroll to the bottom of my blog to turn off the music that I have playing in the background.)




Here are alternative links, in case the video above doesn't work for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd8N_baKbFY
http://www.youtube.com/user/dbereit

Loveable and Huggable

I just had to share this adorable picture! Don't you just want to squeeze this precious boy!? After being away from my boys for 4 days, I just can't get enough of them this week. When I saw them at the closing ceremony at my retreat, I just could not stop crying and hugging them. They looked at me like I was a freak, but I couldn't help myself. Someday they will understand why mothers do the crazy things we do :} I'll share more about my retreat experience soon...I'm still processing it all. For now, I'll just say that God exceeded my expectations and I'm overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Our theme was "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD." I certainly know He is God and He is good more than I ever have before. God made me feel so lovable and huggable during my retreat, which is exactly how I'm feeling about my children and husband this week too. Funny how that works. He filled me with his love, and now I find myself reflecting His love more perfectly.

Bittersweet Birthday

I was in the midst of packing for my retreat today, and suddenly had the bittersweet reminder that tomorrow is the birthday of our baby Frances who left my womb and was welcomed into Heaven a year ago. During my retreat, I'm sure that memory will be hard for me, but hopefully it will remind me that I have 3 beautiful babies up in heaven praying for me and helping me grow closer to Christ. I'm not sure what Heaven will be like, but I sure hope that when I get there I will be able to hold my babies and thank them for all their prayers that they showered upon their mommy while I was on earth. Perhaps God knew I needed their extra prayer support, which is why He took them to Heaven so soon.

"St. Frances, pray for me!

I love you!

Help me love Jesus more and more!"

Deep Thoughts on Humility

Over the past few months, God has been teaching me to grow in the virtue of humility, and I have been a very reluctant student. God has convicted me that I am vain and selfish, but thankfully He has been gently showing me the only way to cure such vices: true humility. A dear high school friend of mine, who is now a priest, once told me that the quickest way to humility is through humiliation. I can now say that I know exactly what he means. I can't say that I've enjoyed the process, but I can now say that I am thankful for the opportunity. Here's a brief synopsis of my petty, but nonetheless real, journey towards humility:

About 6 months ago there must have been a shift of some sort in my hormones because my skin started breaking out with acne like never before. I thought acne was for teenagers, not for 30 year olds!? Anyway, months went by with no improvement and I was really starting to struggle with my self-esteem because of it. As vain and silly as it sounds, I have to admit I spent many hours crying and praying over this small cross. It's funny how sometimes the smallest crosses can seem so huge when you lack the humility and faith to respond rightly. Anyway, I finally went to a dermatologist who told me the only way she could help me was if I was willing to go on birth control. I said "not an option" and continued trying to pray my cross away. More weeks went by, and I finally decided to go to another dermatologist who was extremely compassionate and helpful. She gave me some products that should help clear up the acne without compromising my convictions about contraception. I did have one humiliating bump in the road when the medication that the dermatologist prescribed caused an allergic reaction due to the cleanser I was using. So for about a week I not only had terrible acne, but I also had bumpy, scaly skin from the allergic reaction. It was so bad I couldn't even wear make-up...the horror! I've often prayed that someday I wouldn't have to wear make-up anymore, but this what not exactly what I had in mind. More tears, dying to self, and learning the virtue of humility. But I am happy to report that it's been a few weeks now, and I think I am starting to see some improvement in my skin. But, I have to admit that the real victory is how I have grown in humility on the journey. I no longer shed tears when I look in the mirror, I simply say a prayer of thanksgiving for this humiliating opportunity to grow in holiness, this opportunity to weed vanity out of my soul, this opportunity to share in the suffering of Christ (even though my cross is like a sliver compared to His!). So that's my story. It was humbling for me to share it, but I thought it might help root out some more pride and vanity :) The following prayer has always been a favorite of mine, and it really has been helpful for me on this journey. Perhaps it will be meaningful to you, as well.

LITANY OF HUMILITY

(by: Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930), Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X)

O Jesus! Meek and humble of heart, hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being loved, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being extolled, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being honored, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being praised, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being preferred, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being consulted, deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being approved, deliver me Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being despised, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of suffering rebukes, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being calumniated, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being ridiculed, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being wronged, deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being suspected, deliver me Jesus
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.