A Torn and Fractured Lent, but God is still Good

In my last post, I mentioned that this Lent has been a hard and heavy one--much stress and many decisions to be made.  Well, it suddenly, drastically got harder and heavier--on a global level, and also on a level very close to home.

First, the global level--which I'm sure everyone who reads this is currently experiencing.  Last week the coronavirus started wrecking havoc not only in China and Europe, but it found it's way to the United States, causing a global pandemic and all schools to shut down.  So all of this week, I have been homeschooling my own kids, but also continuing to be the 3rd grade teacher at our school---but in an online setting.  It's been a bit crazy, but honestly, I love being home with my kids.  The schooling only takes a few hours, and then the day is spent playing outside, playing board games, getting chores done that haven't been done in ages, and of course some hard-earned iPad time for the boys :)  But still there are worries in the back of everyone's mind...will the virus hit our family, will the stores all shut down, will we have to do online schooling the rest of the year, will there be a baseball season, will Joseph have his senior graduation ceremony, will we have enough toilet paper--oops, I mean food--to last until this is all over???

These questions and worries all became so little as our next "cross" of Lent was suddenly handed to us much closer to home...

On Sunday (one week ago today), Joseph had a bad skiing accident.  Tore his MCL.  Fractured his tibia.  It was the last ski day of the year and the ski hill was about to shut down for the season, so Joseph and Michael wanted to have one last fun skiing adventure before all the snow melted.  Now I'm sure Joseph wishes they had not gone, but somehow we trust that God allowed this for a good reason.  Romans 8:28 has become our verse of the year:  "All things work together unto good for those who love the Lord."  God is going to bring good out of this.  But it is still hard.  It's hard for me as a mother to watch my son hurting, and to not be able to fix it.  It's hard for Joseph on so many levels, and definitely not something he expected to experience his senior year.  He was looking forward to mountain biking with friends, playing basketball with his brothers in the driveway during this long break from school, and most of all, he was eager for his final baseball season which was about to begin (and which might not even happen due to the pandemic).  But I have to say, he has been handling it like a strong, Christian man.  No complaint has escaped his lips.  I am so proud of him.  We found out next week whether or not he will need surgery.  In the meantime, we wait, trust, and pray for God's healing and His graces to be poured on Joseph as he unites his suffering with Jesus's.

Yes, the coronavirus pandemic and Joseph's accident are both difficult crosses to bear.  It is indeed a torn and fractured Lent for our family, but God is still good and there is still so much for which to be thankful:  Joseph's accident could have been worse, we have all this time in quarantine for Joseph to recover without having to worry about using crutches to get up and down the steps at school, we have a big beautiful house to hunker down in and to have lots of family bonding time in, we have 7 amazing acres of land to enjoy when we get stir-crazy, we are stocked up with plenty of food to last us months and months, we have extra time to pray, and of course, we have the assurance that God is with us and will get us through this so we have no need to panic.  "Jesus, we trust in You," will continue to be our motto.

This will likely be a Lent that none of us will ever forget.  But hopefully, in years down the road when we look back on it, we will recall more than anything the great good that came from the suffering, rather than the suffering itself.

Totus Tuus,
~Maria

when failure weighs heavy

Perfectionists like me take failure hard.  But it is good for us.  It keeps us humble.  It reminds us that only God is perfect.  And within the suffering of failure, there is merit (that is, if we remember to offer up the suffering and unite it to Jesus' suffering!) :)  I'm not so sure I always do so well at the offering it up part!  But this quote that I recently came across in St. Faustina's diary inspires me to not take failure so hard, because succeeding at a task is not what is important to God--it's the suffering, not the succeeding, that has merit!  How freeing that is!  Perhaps this quote will encourage all of you perfectionists out there too!

"It is not for the success of a work, but for the suffering, that I give reward." 

(Jesus' words to Faustina, diary entry #90)

And here's a real failure story for you too, in case it helps you feel better to know you're not alone in your failures... :)

Last summer I was inspired with an idea for our school's Kindergarten auction project.  I love to quilt, and my baby was going to be a Kindergartener, which meant I would have tons of free time to quilt since all of my kids would be in school.  So I offered to make a quilt using the school uniform fabric and the cute faces of the Kindergarteners printed on photo fabric.  I worked my buns off for 4 months, spending countless hours agonizing over every detail like a true perfectionist.  I followed the directions to the tee regarding the photo fabric because I had never made a photo quilt before.  I had fun but I was also very stressed out.  I finally finished it.  I washed it...  And I ruined it.  Yes, I ruined it in the wash.  I didn't even use any detergent!  The photo fabric was supposed to be "color-fast," but when I pulled it out of the wash the photos were faded and wrinkly.  It looked horrible.  There was nothing I could do.  I had to accept the experience as a teachable moment, an opportunity for humility, and move on with plan B for the auction quickly.  Thankfully, I was able to design and order an adorable fleece blanket from a company online using the cute Kindergartener's photos that I had taken, and it turned about beautifully!  It was not as awesome as I had planned, it was not a hand-made quilt using the cute uniform fabric, but it was still beautiful and snuggly and made the family that bought it happy (I hope).  And I trust that God had a reason for how things turned out, and that He used every ounce of my suffering for some good purpose.  (I'm not sure if I'll ever try to make a photo quilt again though...or ever offer to make an auction project.  There's only so much suffering that a perfectionist can take!)  :}  But all in all, it was a good experience for me.  It stretched me and reminded me to say "Praise the Lord anyway!" when things don't turn out the way I had hoped.  For  His ways are always perfect, and He will use our failures and sufferings for great good, even though we might not see it or understand it right away.

Here's a photo of the quilt prior to me ruining it in the wash...

And here's a picture of the cute blanket that became the final auction project:

1st Day of School "Blues"

Yesterday was the first day of school for my 4 oldest boys.  Their school uniform is blue, but they were also slightly "blue" in their mood too as I had to wake them all up to get to school on time (gone are the summer days of sleeping in).

Joseph is a 9th grader this year and Michael is an 8th grader, so they were not too excited to head back to school knowing the homework load that awaits them most nights.  Their consolation, however, is their awesome group of friends, whom they are happy to be able to hang out with again every day.  I am so happy that my boys have such an awesome Catholic school to attend, with such great friends whom I can trust to be good, holy influences on my boys.  That is more than worth the price of tuition!  I will sure miss these handsome faces all day long though.  I loved being with them all summer---they are such great helpers and they are just plain fun to be around.  Isaiah will sure be missing them too (especially Dominic and Nathanael who usually play Legos with him all day), but I am sure looking forward to some one-on-one time with my "baby" before he heads off to school in a couple of years...yikes.

Dominic started 4th grade this year, and he, too, was dreading the return of homework--but mostly he was sad that he no longer gets to play with Legos all day long.  I am quite confident that he will love his teacher this year (she is one of my favorites) and have a blast with his friends, so I think he will survive the Lego-withdrawal symptoms. :}

Natey is our BIG KINDERGARTNER this year, and he was equally excited and nervous on the first day of school.  I think he was proud to finally be at the same school with his big brothers, but he was also sad to leave his Legos and his Mommy (not sure which one he misses more) :)  He did great when I dropped him off on the first day.  He had a very concerned look on his face as he waited in line, and for one brief moment I thought he would cry, but he stayed strong (Mommy somehow did too), and he was all smiles at the end of the day.  Success!

Nathanael waiting in line to head into school for the first time 

(you can see the nervous look on his face)

Here is Nathanael when I picked him up at the end of the day:

all smiles with a lollipop from his teacher

(school isn't so bad after all)

We went out to celebrate the first day of school success (as well as the Feast Day of St. Nathanael) at our local frozen yogurt shop.  It was a sweet end to a bittersweet day.  Bowls full of ice cream with lots of toppings helps to take the school blues away!

May God bless and protect all our children 

this school year;

may they grow in wisdom 

and ever closer to the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to school we go!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho,

It's off to school we go!

We had some fun, but it's just begun,

Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho!

After our crazy summer of being away from home and then returning to the chaos of moving into a rental, it was kind of nice for all of us to start the routine of school to bring some stability and normalcy back to our family.  Our 3 oldest boys were eager to see their friends again and begin the adventure of conquering a new grade level.  For Joseph it is 8th grade, which is exciting because he is in the high school wing of the school building now, for Michael it is 7th grade, and for Dominic it is 3rd grade.

Nathanael was so excited to be in the "Big School Kid" category this year as he embarked upon his first year of Pre-Kindergarten four afternoons each week.  Next year he will be at St. Andrew School with his big brothers, which is hard for me to wrap my head around.

Here is Nathanael on his first day of preschool.

This photo reminds me that he is covered by the grace of the cross--

so I know he will be fine (but I'm not sure I will be without his smile all day long!)

The years seem to be sweeping by faster each year as I watch them grow and move from grade to grade.  Bittersweet indeed.  But I love that they love their school, their friends, and that they are getting a Christ-centered Catholic education.  Every year I beat myself up a bit about not homeschooling the boys, because that was my dream when I started having children.  But so far God seems to be telling me that homeschooling is not His will for our family right now for various reasons.  One of which being that there is such an exceptional Catholic School available for the boys.   St. Andrew School puts faith first, which can be seen in countless ways, like praying the Morning Offering, the Angelus, and the Act of Contrition daily as a student body.  Their school motto is:  "Vitam Impedere Vero," which translates "Hang Your Life on Truth," and I see the teachers instilling that motto and other Catholic virtues constantly, which confirms that my kids are where they are supposed to be right now.  If God calls me to homeschooling again someday, I will answer that call and do the best that I can, but for now I am so grateful for a school like St. Andrew's.

Here is Nathanael catching bugs for a few minutes before it was time to go to school :)

I take it for granted that my kids will love school, choose holy friends, grow in their faith, and excel in their studies.  I forget that that is not the case for all kids at school.  I was reminded of that fact this year when one of my best friends shared the struggles her kids were having in school---tears every morning and every night because of how much they disliked school.  She and her husband agonized and prayed over what to do, and finally decided that homeschooling was the best option.  I have two other friends whose kids were being bullied and had to switch schools.  And yet another friend has a daughter who has been battling anxiety attacks and severe depression, making school a very difficult challenge.  Stories like these remind me to pray more for other families who are struggling with the transition of school right now and to be grateful that our kids love school so far and continue to grow in their learning and in their faith.

May this school year be filled with exciting adventures for my kids and yours!

God bless and keep all of our children

and draw them ever nearer to Jesus' Sacred Heart 

to experience the wide expanse of His love and mercy!

Roman Catholic Champs!!!

Last weekend Joseph and Michael participated in a Catholic trivia competition called "Roman Catholic Challenge."  Boy, did they make this momma proud!  For weeks they have been studying hundreds of Catholic trivia facts, and it was inspiring to see how much they learned about their faith!  Often, they would quiz their cradle-Catholic parents...and totally stump us!  :}   For example, can you name the 9 choirs of angels?  Me neither.  But my boys can; they are:  Seraphim, Cherubim, Archangels, Angels, Virtues, Dominions, Powers, Principalities, and Thrones.  They also had to have all the Beatitudes memorized, the 10 Commandments, the names and dates of all Holy Days of Obligation, the Stations of the Cross, several Latin phrases, and over 3 pages of saints and what they are the patron of!!!

The competition involved 2 other Catholic schools from the surrounding area.  Joseph's team was called "DEIS IRAE", which is Latin for "The Day of Wrath."  Apparently, their tactic was to instill fear in their opponents.  And it worked, because they won first place and $40 each! 

Michael's team was called "MILITUS CHRISTI," which is Latin for "Soldiers of Christ."  Even with such an intimidating name, it was hard to be fearful of his group because they looked so darn adorable in their coordinating bow-ties.

However, bow-ties also give the aura of extreme intelligence, which they proved true by winning second place and $25 each in the competition!

Joseph and Michael's teams happened to be in the same age group this year, so for the championship they ended up facing one another!   It was so much fun to watch because Joseph and Michael were each their teams' captain, which meant that they were the spokesmen for their teams.  As you can see in this photo, Joseph was a confident and relaxed team captain.  Michael was also confident, but a bit more intense and competitive :)

This picture just makes me laugh...

It was taken moments before the championship round.
Joseph is praying.  Michael is being a carefree clown :)

I love how different each one of my boys are...it sure keeps life fun and interesting!  :)

The boys had a blast all day.

They absolutely love their Catholic friends AND their Catholic faith.

What more could a mother hope for?

Day Before School Day at the Beach

So, the day before the first day of school I decided to do one last day at the beach.  It was just what we needed...one more day of fun and relaxation before the chaotic routine of school and sports (and hunting season...aaarrrgh) begins.  I was wishing I could capture that day's sunshine and peace in a bottle so that I could open it up and take a swig from time to time! :) 

We spent the day with one of our very favorite families.  I wish everyone could meet this family.  They have a way of rubbing off on you in the best of ways and making you want to be more like them:  more Catholic, more fun-loving, more joy-filled, more relaxed, and more open to life.  Did I mention there are 12 children in their family?  And they make it look so easy and just plain old fun.  Ann, the mom, is my hero.  I want to be just like her when I grow up! :)  She fills me with hope that having a large family is a blessing, rather than a curse like our culture tries to tell us.  What a blessing it is to be friends with this family, and what a blessing it was to spend the day with them. 

No fish were caught that day, but plenty of sunshine and fellowship with friends.

Dominic felt "on top of the world" on this rock with his classmate (aka "first crush") Veronica

I love this action photo.

Just looking at it makes me nervous that I'm going to get sprayed in about 5 seconds.

Ironically, Natey is scared of getting wet, but LOVES soaking other people.

Here's Ann, my hero.

Always with a smile on her face.

Always with a baby on her hip! :)

Sweet dreams and have a happy school year!

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school, and these boys were READY!  They had a fun-filled summer but were biting at the bit to see their friends again.  I am praying that their school year is filled with lots of learning, treasured times with friends, the mantle of Mary's protection, and daily grace to help them grow closer to Christ each day.

Christmas Recap

Our Christmas this year was very relaxed and joy-filled!  We did not have any family with us this year, but instead celebrated with some of our dearest friends and simply bonded closer together as our own little family (actually, we aren't so "little" anymore, are we?).  The celebrations began at the boys' Catholic school Christmas program.  Dominic and Michael each had special speaking parts that they had memorized.  They spoke loud and clear and made this mommy's heart beam with pride!  Joseph played violin in the new school orchestra, which impressed everyone in the audience because all the musicians have only been playing their instruments since the school year began. 

 

Next, we celebrated a pre-Christmas dinner with some of our dearest friends--Glen and Lisa with their 4 beautiful little girls (Lisa just had baby girl #5 yesterday!!!)  One of our favorite priests, Fr. Sean, also came to have dinner with our two families which made the evening extra special.  The highlight of the evening was the music recital that the children performed after dinner was over.   The youngest Cronk girls each played a Christmas song on the piano, and Agnes, who is the eldest at age 6, played "Silent Night" on her fiddle.  Our boys each played a few songs on the piano, and Joseph played two songs on his violin.  What a joyful noise the children made that night!

 

On Christmas day, we celebrated with some great friends from Paul's office:  the Amos family.  It was a delicious meal with wonderful fellowship.  The following morning we left for a mini-vacation to Bozeman, Montana.  Paul and the older 2 boys went skiing at Bridger Bowl, while I took the younger 2 boys to the very cool Museum of the Rockies (which we call "the dinosaur museum").  Nathanael was a bit intimidated by the life-size, ready-to-eat-you-looking dinosaurs, but he loved the Lewis and Clark play area where he could pretend to go camping, catch fish, and all sorts of hands-on activities.  In the evening, we all loved swimming in the hotel pool and playing "Angry Birds" on mommy's new iPad that she got from daddy for Christmas :)

 

All in all, it was a lovely, Christ-centered Christmas.  We chose to have only 3 presents for each of our kids to open, since Jesus (the real Birthday Boy) had only 3 gifts from the Magi.  Having a 3-gift limit really helped our kids to focus less on what they were getting for Christmas and more on the true meaning of Christmas.  Someday I would  like to adopt Ann Voskamp's tradition of having NO gifts under the tree and to focus on giving gifts to those in most need instead.  I would love to train my children's hearts to think of others more than themselves, but I know this will take time.  A few years ago I started the tradition of having our kids think of a gift they can give to Jesus each year, since it's His birthday after all.  Last year each of our boys picked a gift from the Compassion International catalog to send to poor families to please Jesus for His birthday.  I think the boys picked some baby chicks, a water pump, and a month's worth of rice from the catalog.  This year, the boys decided that they wanted to each sponsor a Compassion International child as their special Christmas gift to Jesus.  To sponsor a child means to give a monthly donation to a particular child to help feed them, clothe them, and share the Gospel with them through your love and letters.  The boys really got excited choosing the child they each wanted to sponsor---they got to pick what country their child was from, choose the age of their child, read about their child's life, and even see a picture of their child.  Almost immediately they started writing letters and drawing pictures to send to their child.  I think Jesus was very pleased with this gift from our boys, because whatever we do for the least of His children, we really do for Him.  It only costs $38/month to sponsor a child, but I have a feeling the rewards will be eternal for both our family and the children we are sponsoring. 

 

I pray that each of you had a Christ-centered, peace-filled Christmas too!  May the infant Jesus live and grow in your hearts throughout the New Year and always!

 

Below are some photo highlights to recap our Christmas celebrations...enjoy!

 

 



May your Christmas sugar-high JOY last a lifetime!!!

School Blues?

Today was the 1st day of school for the three older boys, and there was not a blue face in the bunch (only blue shirts).  Dominic was the most excited and was out of bed, hopping down the steps for breakfast at 6:26am (which is unheard of for him...typically he's my sleep-in kid). He was very proud to take his new Helena Brewers backpack, but most of all, he was beaming to be a big school boy like his big brothers.  This mommy was beaming to see them so happy and to know that they are going to a school that shapes not only their minds, but also their souls towards their Savior.

 

Aren't they handsome?

 

 

 

 

Hopefully they will act like perfect gentlemen at school like they always do at home...ha! :)

 

 

I will be prayng for their teachers.