A Date with Ducks

During Joseph's birthday party at Spring Meadow Lake there was a cute duck couple that let me have a photo date with them.  I was thrilled that they let me get so close and experiment with my camera and my new telephoto lens.   Taking pictures makes me happy.  These sweet ducks made me happy as I imagined what they might be thinking as they preened their feathers and flirted with each other... :o)

"Hey honey, look at me!  Don't I look handsome today?"

 

 

"Hmm... She's not looking... Maybe if I turn like this she'll notice my masculine physique...."

 

 

"OK, onto Plan B...  Maybe she'll be impressed if I preen my feathers for her."

 

 

"There.  I bet I look handsome and irresistible now."

 

 

"Time out...got an itch!  That was embarrassing. I hope she didn't see that."

 

 

"Maybe I can get her attention if I show her how flexible I am."

 

 

 

"Aw heck.  All that showing off was hard work. 

I'm ready for a nap. 

Perhaps it's a good sign that she's willing to nap by my side."

What my heart needed to hear...

Sally Clarkson posted this recently on her blog, and her words were just what my heart needed to hear:




The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

This week, I have heard from lots of sweet, broken-hearted moms. So many of you carry loads that are so soul-bending. Yet, I want you to know you are not invisible. Many times, as I look back on my life, I wonder how I made it. At times, huddling in the dark of our bedroom, with no lights on so that no one could see me, I would cry broken-hearted tears, and pour out my grief to the Lord.
 

At times, I felt helpless and hopeless, but because I loved my children, I would, by faith, put one more foot in front of the other and live the day as well as I could. So much of my despair came from having no support systems, and no one to give me a break.
 

Psalm 139 tells us that even darkness is not dark to God. As I look back now, His hand was at work behind the scenes. The dark place built depth and beauty in the souls of my children and in me. And at each juncture, God taught me something about the world, people, life and that He would guide me through the obstacle course of life, even when I was not aware of His carrying me.

So many times I really didn’t think I was going to make it.
 

But then I would read my Bible one more time. I would give my life and the decisions to God and beg for help and hoped that it mattered.
 

God did scatter some hope along my pathways that some times I did not see until looking back. But, He also knew He had a bigger arena for me, one in which I would minister to people from many backgrounds, struggles and stories, and so He used every struggle to help me become more humble. Every juncture or challenge in the road gave me compassion for others who struggled. Each obstacle conquered strengthened my wisdom and understanding so that I could be more ready and mature for the bigger, more challenging tests.
 

But now, through the process, God very slowly and gently used so many moments of heartbreak to loosen my grip on the things I thought I needed to satisfy myself–one at a time. And in the end, when my hands were empty of my personal expectations, He started giving me a hunger for heaven, for eternal things, for deeper relationships. Through the heartbreak, God gave me an appetite for my real home where I will live with Him for eternity, where my loved ones and I will experience peace in all of our relationships and all stress and sadness will be gone.
 

Heartbreak in this world is a proper assessment of being in a world that is dead to God and His ways. But, He, the servant of us all, is collecting every tear in a bottle to remember it, standing close to us in His mercy, and ever ready to welcome us into His comfort as we understand the fellowship of His deep understanding of how we suffer.
 

He indeed turned my mourning to joy and has blessed me more than I could have imagined because He who began a good work, was faithful to complete it in the lives of my sweet children. And now in the midst of difficult days, they are my comfort and joy. I raised my own support systems.
 

Remember, precious one, your labor is not in vain. Your deep hurts are noticed by him, the one who cried when Lazarus died, and His sympathy will be always there because he is a Father who has compassion on His children. May you know that today, you are not alone. He sees you and He cares for you, deeply and always.

Gone Fishing

Joseph turned 12 this week and wanted to celebrate by doing the thing he likes to do best:  FISHING!

So he invited his 5 best buddies and spent the day fishing and having great fellowship.  These boys are the best friends you could wish your son to have---true gentlemen, filled with faith and fun in their hearts!  It was a joy for me to watch these young boys--boys about to turn into men---to watch them laugh and tell fish stories together.  It didn't even seem to bother them that they didn't catch any fish.  They did, however, manage to catch two turtles with their bare hands.  Crazy boys!  Girls would never think of such a thing!

Joseph received great presents that fit him to the tee:  fishing lures (of course!), a hunting shirt (perfect for his 1st year of rifle hunting), a model airplane, a water canteen in his favorite color (St. Louis Cardinals red), and the boxed set of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (both the books AND the DVDs...Jospeh's a Tolkein junkie like his mother, so I was more than pleased to buy these for him).

The party ended with cupcakes topped with Swedish fish candy. 

 

 

 

Life just doesn't get any better than this boys! I pray that you treasure these simple times and these friendships forever!

 

I love this big, brave boy...

Boy, do I love this boy!  Nick-Nack-Patty-Wack is what we affectionately call him. I cannot imagine my life without him in it.  He fills it with this charming smile, with his care-free antics, with his 100% boyishness, with his ceaseless chatter, and with his bravery. 

So brave, in fact, that he pulled his very first tooth out himself!  Way to go my big, brave boy!  I will be sure to tell the tooth fairy how brave you were! :o)

Taking Joy

There is a blog I read regularly that I both love and hate.  It's written by a famous homeschooling mother named Sally Clarkson, who has written stacks of books about homeschooling and the vocation of motherhood.  I love Sally, I really do, but sometimes reading about her life brings me down because she has set the bar so very, very high...and frankly I just feel too darn short. Although reading her blog sometimes makes me feel like a failure, most of the time it truly encourages me and inspires me to be the woman God wants me to be.  I'm slowly learning that I don't have to be Sally.  I don't need to be perfect or have perfect kids.  I just need a perfect Savior who is full of love and mercy when I fall short.

Sally's blog is called "I Take Joy", and I've always found that title to be both bold and intriguing.  I've often heard the phrase that we must "choose joy" because it is a feeling that doesn't always come naturally.  But the concept of "taking joy" seems to step it up a notch, and this week I really felt like adopting that phrase as my new motto.

Joy was not a natural feeling for me this week; in fact, I felt pretty much the opposite.  To quote my favorite protagonist, Bilbo Baggins, I felt "thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread." Nothing major happened to bring me down, just all the little things that add up...  Lack of sleep, my husband going on a work trip, the refrigerator breaking the day he left, my boys bickering, anxiety about getting pregnant again now that my cycle has already returned, annoyance at my son's football schedule and his drill-Sergent coach, little irritations with my spouse, countless insecurities with myself...the list could go on forever. 

Then it hit me...  Satan is stealing my joy and I need to take it back!  Satan is the father of lies and does such a successful job filling my mind with worries and doubts and irritations which steal the joy God wants me to have.  Quite frankly, I think Satan likes picking on me because I'm such an easy target.  He knows my weaknesses well; he knows it doesn't take much to send me into a tailspin of stress or despair. But deep down I know that no matter what my circumstances (even when given a cross big or small), I can still have joy, but I must be deliberate about it.  Satan is very deliberately trying to steal my joy and my salvation every second of the day, so I need to be just as deliberate about taking the joy back into my heart.  How do I do this?

Well, when my refrigerator breaks, I take joy by detaching myself from how inconvenient it might be or how much money it might cost, and I have fun eating out with the boys until the new fridge arrives.

When I'm feeling totally overwhelmed with 5 kids and 5,000 things I need to get done, I take joy by going for a rosary walk and placing it all in the Blessed Mother's hands.

When my husband says the wrong thing, I take joy by remembering all the reasons I fell in love with him 13 years ago and all the amazing things he does for our family now, and I choose to do something loving for him whether I feel like it or not.

When I'm bitter that I can't get things done or have some "me time", I take joy by playing Candyland for the 10th time, or by listening to my school boys tell me about their day, and I watch their little faces light up the room because I focused on them and not myself.

When my baby wakes me up 5 times a night, I take joy in holding his sweet little body in my arms, knowing that this snuggle-time will be gone all too soon, and being thankful for the extra prayer time that is almost impossible to find during the day.

The list could go on forever if I remember to take the joy in each moment, rather than allowing Satan to snatch it away.

At Mass...

So I have to admit, I was not very excited about going to church this morning.  Certainly, I wanted to receive Jesus in the Eucharist and have His Presence with me in a special way today, but I was not thrilled at the idea of taking 5 boys by myself to the hour service.  Paul is out of town on a work trip, and it's stressful without his extra set of arms to help with the little ones.  Plus, I was already exhausted before we left the house because I was awake a majority of the night as an "all you can eat buffet" for my nursing infant.  I think God must have known I needed some extra grace today, because I was given so many sweet moments with my kids at Mass that my heart was just overflowing all the way through the service.

The first sweet moment came as we entered the church and we all dipped our fingers into the holy water font to bless ourselves.  Nathanael, our 2-year-old, dipped his entire hand into the water and proceeded to bless his entire body with the sign of the cross...starting at his head, then squatting to reach his toes, then side to side to get each shoulder a few times each while still in the squatting position.  It was adorable and filled my heart to the brim.

The next precious moment came as I watched my two older boys dressed in their lily-while altar serving albs come up the aisle carrying candles as the Mass began.  They looked so handsome, so reverent, and so holy.  Little Michael even got the special privilege today of ringing the bells during the Consecration of Jesus' Body and Blood.  He rang those bells right on cue, with a perfect mix of confidence and humility on his face.  Joy started spilling over the sides of this mother's heart.

Then, all throughout the Mass, I was blessed to hold baby Isaiah who cooed peacefully, while his two little brothers constantly tried to make him smile.  It was so beautiful to watch them love on each other rather than annoy each other.  (Although there was one funny moment when Nathanael said to me in his sweet toddler voice, "Tell Dominic to stop antagonizing me."  I didn't know 2-year-olds could pronounce such a big word!  It sounded so cute coming out of his mouth, and what made it even more humorous was that, in reality, it was Nathanael doing the antagonizing, NOT Dominic.)  Thankfully, the antagonizing never got out of hand and I never had to do the "walk of shame" to take the boys to the back of the church for misbehaving.  What a relief!

So, I not only survived the Mass, I was able to celebrate the Mass as God intended---full of joy, thanksgiving, love, and praise! 

And so we bought donuts on the way home...Amen! Alleluia! :o)

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Day Before School Day at the Beach

So, the day before the first day of school I decided to do one last day at the beach.  It was just what we needed...one more day of fun and relaxation before the chaotic routine of school and sports (and hunting season...aaarrrgh) begins.  I was wishing I could capture that day's sunshine and peace in a bottle so that I could open it up and take a swig from time to time! :) 

We spent the day with one of our very favorite families.  I wish everyone could meet this family.  They have a way of rubbing off on you in the best of ways and making you want to be more like them:  more Catholic, more fun-loving, more joy-filled, more relaxed, and more open to life.  Did I mention there are 12 children in their family?  And they make it look so easy and just plain old fun.  Ann, the mom, is my hero.  I want to be just like her when I grow up! :)  She fills me with hope that having a large family is a blessing, rather than a curse like our culture tries to tell us.  What a blessing it is to be friends with this family, and what a blessing it was to spend the day with them. 

No fish were caught that day, but plenty of sunshine and fellowship with friends.

Dominic felt "on top of the world" on this rock with his classmate (aka "first crush") Veronica

I love this action photo.

Just looking at it makes me nervous that I'm going to get sprayed in about 5 seconds.

Ironically, Natey is scared of getting wet, but LOVES soaking other people.

Here's Ann, my hero.

Always with a smile on her face.

Always with a baby on her hip! :)

Sweet dreams and have a happy school year!