Hands Full of Flowers

 

My mom recently lent me a book called "Love in the Heart of the Church:  The Mission of Therese of Lisieux."  I'm only a few chapters in, but I have already stumbled upon a gem of a passage that really spoke to my heart:

I am a child of the Church, and the Church is a Queen since she is your Spouse, O Divine King of kings...  What this child asks for is Love.  She knows only one thing:  to love you O Jesus.  Astounding works are forbidden to her; she cannot preach the Gospel (like a priest), shed her blood (like a missionary); but what does it matter since her brothers work in her stead and she, a little child, stays very close to the throne of the King and Queen.  She loves in her borthers' place while they do the fighting.  But how will she prove her love since love is proved by works?  Well, the little child will strew flowers, she will perfume the royal throne with their sweet scents and she will sing in her silvery tones the canticle of love. 

Yes, my Beloved, this is how my life will be consumed.  I have no other means of proving my love for you other than that of strewing flowers, that is, not allowing one little sacrifice to escape, not one look, one word, profiting by all the smallest things and doing them through love.  I desire to suffer for love and even to rejoice through love; and in this way I shall strew flowers before Your throne.  I shall not come upon one without unpetalling it for You.  While I am strewing my flowers, I shall sing, for how could one cry while doing such a joyous action?   I shall sing even when I must gather my flowers in the midst of thorns, and my song will be all the more melodious in proportion to the length and sharpness of the thorns. 

O Jesus, of what use will my flowers be to You?  Ah!  I know very will that this fragrant shower, these fragile, worthless petals, these songs of love from the littlest of hearts will charm You. Yes, these nothings will please You.  They will bring a smile to the Church Triumphant (the souls in heaven).  She will gather up my flowers unpetalled through love and have them pass through Your own divine hands, O Jesus.  And this Church in heaven, desirous of playing with her little child, will cast these flowers, which are now infinitely valuable because of Your divine touch, upon the Church Suffering (the souls in purgatory) in order to extinguish its flames, and upon the Church Militant (the souls on earth) in order to gain victory for it.

This passage reminds me that any action done with love, no matter how small, can be like a flower given to Jesus, and can have infinite value to Him and to many other souls.  How I wish I could remember that truth when I lose patience with a child, or grumble about getting up to nurse my baby, or get irritated with my husband over some small thing...  Oh, St. Therese, please intercede for me to help me learn your "Little Way" of loving joyfully at all times!!!  Like a child running to give wildflowers to her daddy, I want my hands to be filled with flowers of love and sacrifice, hoping it will make my Heavenly Father smile.

Great Friends, Great Times

 

We have some great friends who live on a little slice of paradise, with their very own swimming hole and wilderness to explore out their back (and front) door.  Our family feels blessed to be their friends, not only for the chance to occasionally share their swimming hole, but also for the encouraging Catholic fellowship we find with them.  This family is so great to hang around--they live their faith and have fun while doing so! :) 

I loved watching my boys play with their boys because they definitely have the same male wiring:  100% wild-at-heart-boy-genes.  Our play date with this great family only lasted a few hours, but in those 180 minutes the boys managed to catch a few turtles, capture a frog, feed a snake to the resident chickens, play a few rounds of laser tag, and do flips from a trampoline into the pond (which inspired their Catholic mothers to say extra prayers that their guardian angels would spare us a trip to the ER!) :)

 

Spending the day having fun in the great outdoors planted a desire in my heart to live outside of the city limits so that my boys could have more electronic-free fun like this every day.  My husband has wanted to live outside of town for quite a few years now, but now the desire is growing in my heart too.  We are really starting to pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit, because moving is a huge undertaking and big decisions like this cause me stress.  Yes, in case you don't know me well, anxiety is one of my best skills...I have it mastered!  :}  I need to just put this decision in God's capable hands.  Hopefully, God will open doors if we are meant to move, or remove the desire in our hearts if we are meant to be content where we are at.  In the meantime, we will continue to pray while we start looking at land and/or homes for sale, and begin to prepare our own home to be put on the market (perhaps?!?) before next summer.   If you have a moment to spare, please say a little prayer that God will guide our hearts towards His will and help with all the details... "Jesus, I trust in You."

Why do you think these boys are so excited?...

Because they spotted a turtle in the water,

then they convinced Josh to dive in to catch it!

 

Here's Joseph showing off the Turtle Trophy!

 

Here is Joseph loving on their sweet calico kitten

(I opted to take this cute picture rather than one of the boys feeding a poor snake to the chickens)

 

Miss Calico agrees that we need to move into the country for more R-n-R!

Going...Going...Gone!

Joseph, Michael, and Dominic were all in baseball this Spring and Summer.  With three boys playing at different fields, at different times, and in all sorts of weather conditions, it seemed like the baseball season just kept on going and going and going...  But now it's gone, and I have to admit that I'm both relieved and sad.  Despite being a long season, the boys loved every single minute of it, and I loved watching the joy on their faces and the improvement in their skills.  Each year they play I can see a dramatic jump in their skill level, and it is really getting fun to watch their games now that the pitchers can actually throw a fast ball into the strike zone and the fielders can actually throw the ball to first base and successfully make an out without dropping the ball!  :)

Joseph was on the Helena Motors team this year, and he played as pitcher, 2nd baseman, and short-stop.  Michael played as pitcher, 3rd baseman, and short-stop for the All Seasons Heating and Air team.  For both boys, pitching was definitely their favorite position, and I was so proud of how confident they were on the mound and how they consistently threw into the strike zone. Some of the other pitchers on their teams could throw the ball faster, but not as accurately as Joseph and Michael. I really was proud of them, but it also made me a nervous-wreck when they were on the mound. Do all mother's fear the possibility of seeing their children fail, or is it just me? 

At some point during the season Joseph was given a nickname by his coach---"Big Joe"---which was fun to hear his coach and teammates belt out from the dugout. Joseph liked the nickname, even though deep down he knew the nickname was a bit of a joke, since he was one of the smallest players on the team. What he was lacking in size, however, he certainly made up for in spirit and skill. The opposing teams knew that "Big Joe" was a big threat as the season progressed.  Not only was he a great player, but I was even more proud of him for his great sportsmanship and the way he enthusiastically encouraged his teammates during each game.  I see the makings of a confident and kind leader in him, both on and off the field.

Michael was also given a nickname from his team:  "Mighty Mike."  This made him beam inside and strive to be as mighty as he could, both on the mound and at the plate.  Like his older brother, Michael was also one of the smalled kids on the team, but he could jack that ball nearly to the fence, and he was a mighty smart fielder, always knowing where to throw the ball to make the best play possible.  Michael loves the game of baseball with intense passion, and I pray that he can always channel that passion in a way that will glorify God.

Dominic also had a great season, but his league still loves the after-game snacks more than the game itself! :)  His team this year was Speiker Sprinklers, and he was able to try out almost every position--even as catcher, which was his favorite.  It sure was fun to watch him play, and I was so impressed with how well he can slug that ball.  He was in the coach-pitched league, and he made contact with the ball every time he was at bat, never striking out nor needing to use the T like some of the other players.  I think he was a step above the rest because he played non-stop baseball in the backyard with his brothers. 

With all of our boys loving the sport and truly showing lots of talent, Paul and I are starting to pray about whether or not to let them try out for the traveling All-Star teams next year.  The traveling teams play almost every weekend in the summer; plus, it gets quite costly when you consider traveling costs and team fees, so it would really be a huge commitment and life-style changer if we walk down that path.  I feel very strongly about keeping our faith and our family-time as higher priorities that sports, but I also have to consider that maybe God gave my sons baseball talent for a special reason and wants us to foster their gifts...  Tough decisions lie ahead... Hopefully the Holy Spirit will guide us every step of the way in this parenting adventure!

My friend--a pro-life beacon

I have a friend who inspires me.  She always has.  She home schools, she has 7 great kids, she is joyful and hospitable, she is funny and real.   I have always felt very blessed to be considered her friend.  But now, more than ever, she inspires me as she shines like a pro-life beacon in this dark and anti-life culture.  She shines like a beacon when it would be so tempting and easy to simply turn off the light, to become bitter, or to fall into the darkness of despair.  My friend is pregnant with her 8th child, but she recently found out things are not going well in her womb.  Her baby boy is not growing at the normal rate, he appears to have some birth defects, and the doctors don't know how much longer he will live.

My friend is so humble that I know she would not want me to share her name, but I hope she won't mind me sharing her words from a recent blog post.  Her words have inspired my faith and my pro-life convictions, and I want others to be encouraged by them too.  I also want to share her story so that she can be showered with prayers.  Even though I am not sharing her name, God will know who you are praying for.  So please help me to pray for my friend...that she will be given all the graces needed to help her carry her cross and be a beacon of light even when all seems dark...


{an excerpt from my friend's blog}:

The last days have brought a torrent of information, emotions and tears. How can a little guy (yep, a little boy) that looked so absolutely perfect five weeks ago change so drastically? He still looks perfect to my uneducated eye, but obviously some things with the pregnancy have went wrong. Our routine 20 week ultrasound indicated a few things were awry. Our midwife called to tell us we needed to see a specialist....the next day. When things happen that quickly, I know things are not good.

My husband and I went to Great Falls to be told that the same chain of events that occurred when we lost our previous baby at this stage were happening again. We thought losing Clare was a fluke, but now the doctor is thinking there may be more to it, with circumstances repeating themselves. Along with the baby's environment deteriorating, he has some significant birth defects that would certainly affect his and our lives if he does make it to term.

So this is where the rubber meets the pro-life road.

Our case is truly an argument that would be used to promote abortion. Things aren't looking good for the babe to make it to term. If he does, his life isn't going to be "quality" anyhow, so why not end it all. Put the baby out of his misery and end the fear of the unknown for the mother.

Yes, the fear, the unknown, is overwhelming at moments. But, this life was given to us, to me, to protect and cherish no matter what the outcome.

It is painful.

But he is mine and is a gift. Sometimes we are just unable to see the value in a gift received til much later. So we will wait and find out what God has in store for us...what value this gift of uncertainty, of pain, of loss, holds.

Meanwhile, the meaning of being pro-life has taken on an entirely deeper meaning. I've always talked a good talk. I mean, we have seven children. What is not pro-life about that?

But there is more.

I am still nurturing this little one, no matter what the outcome is in the next two weeks or next two decades. I still need to give it my best effort, from eating well and taking vitamins to getting enough rest to praying for my little guy.

It is difficult to avoid looking glum. But if I believe in the sanctity of every life and this child is a gift, maybe I shouldn't mope around too much. Strangely, keeping myself busy and putting on a peaceful, if not happy, face, has made me feel interiorly at peace. And, after all, if things go as bad as they are saying he will be in Heaven soon and what could possibly be better?

Then, there has been the support of my family: My husband, Mom and Dad, my sisters...and darn it, even my brothers. I can't help but think of all the women that choose abortion, how abandoned they must feel in that moment. What different choices they would make if only surrounded by a family that lifted them in prayer and loved them.

So we will continue on. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. As my husband said at the beginning of this pregnancy, "We will be a beacon."

I just didn't realize what that would entail.

Summer Joys for Boys

We've been trying to soak up as much summer fun as possible before it's gone.  Last weekend we spent the day at our favorite beach.  The older boys wanted to go fishing, but the only thing they caught was some crawdads, which turned out to be bucket loads of fun.  I am learning that sunshine and laughter are like free therapy and that life's simplest pleasures truly fill one's heart to overflowing...  I hope you're counting your blessings by the bucket load too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pray for my boys...

Today we took the scenic drive up the Seeley-Swan Valley to Salmon Lake to drop our eldest 2 sons off at a Catholic camp called Legendary Lodge.  They having been eagerly awaiting this camp all summer.  The location of the camp is breath-taking, with majestic mountains towering on all sides and surrounded by a crystal mountain lake.  You even have to take a ferry boat to get across the lake to the campsite...

 

It was bittersweet taking the boys across the lake, knowing that I won't be seeing their smiling faces for 5 days, and knowing also that they are growing up and strengthening their wings of independence.  But I had a peace knowing that they would be learning to soar towards heaven at this camp, growing in their faith while having the time of their lives. 

I wondered if I would cry and turn into a puddle as I said goodbye to them and blessed their foreheads underneath their favorite baseball caps.  But I didn't cry (shocking, I know!).  I felt at peace because they had each other--how blessed I am that these brothers are truly the best of friends!  I knew they would look out for each other and they wouldn't be too lonely or homesick with each other nearby.

And not only did they have each other, they were also surrounded by a huge group of their best buddies from school and church.  We know and love all of these boys and are friends with all of their parents...another huge consolation to this mother's heart!

Plus, I knew they were in very good hands---our Blessed Mother's!  Oh my, I just noticed how it looks like she is even holding them by their arms in this photo!  I have nothing to worry about :)

All that being said, I would still love it if you would help me pray for our boys while they are at camp this week... Pray for their peace and protection; pray that they create legendary memories and lasting friendships; but pray most of all that they come to love the Lord in a powerful and personal way.

a prayer/poem

 

Sacred Heart of Jesus,

draw me nearer to Thee

my heart has grown cold

from bitterness set me free

through Your unquenchable flames

warm the chill, melt the numb

I know Your love is enough

all I need is to simply come

 

Sacred Heart of Jesus

in Your pierced wound heal me

for my heart has been broken

from neglect and vanity

with your burning love

consume my heart torn in two

replace it with Yours

that I may start anew

I know I am no great poet, but writing poetry is therapy for my soul, no matter how silly and amateur my words may be.  As you can tell in my rhyme, my heart has been a bit heavy lately.  It's the same old cross, but perhaps the baby blues and lack of sleep make it feel heavier than usual.  I'm praying for the grace to carry it with perseverance and joy, knowing that it can make me more like my suffering Savior and closer to His merciful heart.  I recently came across a quote from my favorite saint, Therese the Little Flower, which gave me great hope:  "Let us remain very remote from all that glitters.  Let us love our littleness; let us love to feel nothing.  Then we shall be poor in spirit, and Jesus will come seeking us, however far away we are.  He will transform us into flames of love!  Often we are saddened here by the very thing which will be the cause of our eternal happiness above."