Heavenly Consolations

Since Nadine's death, I have been vigilant about praying for her soul.  Like a good Catholic I guess, I have a healthy fear of purgatory  :)  Don't get me wrong, I love purgatory, and I hope to make it there someday so that I can be purified and then see God face to face with a perfectly clean heart.  But the purification part scares me and I don't want anyone that I love to have to suffer any longer than necessary, so I feel called to pray and offer Masses for them, just like I hope others will pray like crazy for me when I die (I hope they pray for years...I might be there awhile!)  :}  I love that the Lord lets us pray for departed souls and participate in sending them extra graces, but it frustrates me that we won't ever know when to stop praying and offering Masses.  Couldn't God in His omniscience send us a text when our loved ones are finally in His embrace?  Well, I think sometimes he does...not through a text message, but through events beyond coincidence...

A couple of weeks after Nadine's death I went to confession.  I had a myriad of things to confess, one of which was a feeling of guilt for not spending more time with Nadine--I could sense in my heart that I had been selfish with my own time when I could have been much more charitable and made time for such a special little girl who needed to feel affirmed and loved.  Anyway, after my lengthy confession was over, Fr. John gave me advice on many things that I mentioned in my confession, but nothing regarding Nadine.  Then, he gave me my penance:  "Read and meditate on Psalm 103..."  My eyes grew wide and I asked him to clarify..."Did you say Psalm 103?"  "Yes," he replied, looking puzzled at my reaction.  Then I told him that Psalm 103 was the Responsorial Psalm that I was asked to read at Nadine's Vigil ceremony.  The priest just smiled, and I left the confessional both bewildered and consoled somehow.  What could this mean?  I mentioned what happened to my mom on the phone a few days later.  Her immediate reaction was something like this: "Maria, I think that was God's way of letting you know Nadine is in Heaven and you can stop worrying."  It just seemed too good to be true, so then I shared the story with my wise Spiritual Director, and he confidently said something like this:  "That was absolutely a signal grace."  (So then I had to ask him what a signal grace was...)  And he explained that signal graces are signs sent by God that are clearly beyond coincidence, given to console our hearts and answer a specific prayer that we have asked.  Well, my heart was absolutely consoled.  Thank you, God, for sending heavenly consolations to this anxious and scrupulous soul who needs them so!  :)

When I shared this story with Nadine's mom yesterday.  She, too, was consoled and then shared with me that God had sent her a heavenly consolation too.  Cheri had been begging for a sign to know with certainty that her daughter was safely with the Trinity.  Wild-at-heart Nadine loved wildflowers and every year she would get giddy with delight when she saw the very first buttercups blossom in the Spring.  Well, shortly after Nadine's death, Cheri walked outside their house, which is located up in the mountains near our local ski hill, and there she found 3 perfect buttercups blossoming before her eyes, which had not been there the day before.  Three buttercups...Father, Son, and Holy Spirit embracing sweet Nadine.  How great is our God!  A God who sends us consolations that some would merely call coincidences.  Christians know that there truly is no such thing as coincidences, for everything passes through the hands of our infinitely loving Father.  :)

P.S.  Call me a crazy Catholic, but I will probably continue to pray for Nadine's soul because I'm overly scrupulous and I care about her too much not to do so.  In my heart, I have a feeling that she is running through heavenly buttercups already, but I trust that if she no longer needs my prayers, God will kindly use them for another soul in need.