Well, as you can tell from my last post, marriage for me is something that requires some extra work, time, and prayer in order for it to flourish and glorify the Lord. I tend to envy couples with seemingly twitterpated marriages, but I need to remind myself that God has chosen my marriage as my personal path towards sanctification. God knew this marriage would be the best one for my soul because it is teaching me how to choose sacrificial love, not necessarily the feeling kind of love. I remember my mom telling me when I got married that "Love is a choice, not a feeling.'' I feel like I've read every marriage self-help book ever written to help me learn how to choose to love (and secretly hoping that the feelings would increase too). Some of the books have been helpful, others have not, but for the most part I just can't seem to follow all of the advice in them because there is just too much advice. So, I've decided to write my own marriage self-help strategy...a very simple one...and see if I can stick to it to improve my marriage (with the help of God's grace, of course!). Like St. Therese the Little Flower, I feel like I am a very little soul, so I need a very little strategy to follow. :) I am really going to try to stick to this strategy, especially during the upcoming 40 days of Lent, so that it can become a habit instead of a fleeting resolution.
- PRAY---take a few moments to pray specifically for my husband's needs (his holiness, his health, his job, and perhaps even ask him what he would like me to pray for)
- AFFIRM---give my husband at least one compliment each day, affirming that I respect who he is and that I am thankful for something he has done
- TOUCH---reach out to my husband in some way physically to let him know I care (a kiss as he heads to work, a welcome-home-hug, a back massage, holding his hand in the car, or something more intimate even if I don't necessary feel like it)
Take heart, Maria...marriage is something that requires extra work, time and prayer for me too, ...and I'm certain for most, if not, ALL couples (even those with seemingly twitterpated marriages....even they have their moments too :)) If you think about it, marriage is sort of like a sport where it involves team work & effort, good communication, and a LOT of hard work, sacrifices, sometimes painful ones, perseverance & prayers to keep it going strong. It is an ongoing process, similar to the ascetical struggle we face everyday to live a God-centered life. I always tell my close girlfriends that motherhood for me is a piece of cake compared to marriage. ;-) You said right though by saying, God knew your marriage to Paul would be the best one for your soul. He matches us up with our significant others because He knows what we need and what we lack. We have a better chance getting up into heaven with our spouses than without them. Their flaws help humble our pride or whatever virtue we lack, and vice versa. I see this within my own marriage.
ReplyDeletePlease know I will keep your marriage in my prayers, please keep mine in yours. God Bless!
In HIM,
Sonia