Chocolates, Crazy Socks and a Kalanchoe plant

 

So what do chocolates, crazy socks and a kalanchoe plant have in common? They are all symbols of my husband's love.

 

 

 

My sweet husband brought home those three gifts this Valentine's day, and I think it was one of the most special Valentine's days that I can recall. And the amazing part was that it really wasn't my husband's gifts to me that made it memorable. What made it special was my attitude this year.

 

 

 

Although I hate to admit it, gifts is one of my top love languages; plus, I am a mushy romantic with unrealistically high expectations, and that usually spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R on Valentine's day. Well, this year, I decided to have ZERO expectations and to simply focus on lavishing love on my husband instead--to speak his love language rather than silently expecting him to speak mine, and then not-so-silently resenting him when my expectations aren't met. And truly, isn't that is what love is supposed to be? Placing your beloved's desires above your own...sacrificing self and finding joy in making others joy-filled instead. And shock of shocks...it works!
 

I started my husband's day with a love note and a small gift that he found in his car. I cooked a fancy supper with expensive steak (which I rarely buy because I'm so cheap), butter-sauted mushrooms, and fried red and yellow peppers on the side (which I rarely buy because I detest peppers). I used our fancy china and our once-a-year white tablecloth, and our wedding candle as the centerpiece. I filled wine glasses for everyone, using grape juice for the kids and a sweet red wine for Paul and I. And then for dessert, I made pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream. It was so much fun to serve and not be served.

I was already filled with joy without receiving a single gift from my husband. The fact that he showered me with thought-filled gifts anyway was simply a bonus (a very nice bonus!). I was touched that Paul remember that I prefer a real plant rather than fresh-cut flowers like roses. To me, roses are just too unoriginal, plus they die so fast. In contrast, a flowering plant I can enjoy for months (or even years), andI can recall each time I water it how loved I felt when I received it. My husband also remembered how much I like fun, colorful socks. My feet are always cold, so I just love wearing warm socks---and the brighter they are, the better! He chose a perfect variety: one pair of ski socks for me to wear next year when I can finally hit the slopes again, one pair of warm wool socks with stripes, and one pair of great hiking socks in my favorite shade of blue. And, of course, he knows that I always am craving chocolate but am too cheap to ever buy fancy chocolates for myself. How fun to be spoiled without expecting it!

I hope I can remember this lesson for next Valentine's day---and every day:

lavish love on others + expect nothing in return = JOY