ALL BETTER!!!

After 7 days of being sick, sick, sick, I am very happy to say that Isaiah is all better...and eating well :)  

Thank you for your prayers!!!

Under the weather

Please say a prayer for our sweet Isaiah!  He has been battling illness since Christmas time!  First, it was a bad cold with a lingering cough and fever.  And now he has a very bad stomach virus.  I will spare you the details.  Pray for his quick recovery and for protection for the rest of our family against this nasty bug.  Thank you!!!

He's adorable even when he's sick!

I sure have been loving the extra snuggles,

but I will love seeing him well even more!

Is our quiver full?

Is our quiver full?  Is yours?  How does one ever truly answer that question with certainty?  I've always been shocked when I hear people say with such finality that they are "done" having children.  Done?  They say it so casually as if they are done having breakfast.  Done?  As if creating life is completely their choice.  I don't know why it still shocks me, when I fully understand that we live in a pro-choice culture that encourages controlling one's own family size through various forms of contraception and permanent sterilization.  But I chuckle when I think of a dear friend of mine back in South Dakota whose mother said she was done having kids after having only 2 boys, so she had her tubes tied.  Ten years or so later, my friend Jody was conceived!  It just goes to show that even though we think we are in control of our fertility, there is Someone else who truly is in control of that department...it's just a question of how much we are willing to fight His will in our lives?

Even among my pro-life, Catholic friends, there is only a small percentage who fully embrace the Church's teaching on being 100% open to life, a teaching which instructs us not only to avoid using contraception, but also to avoid using NFP as natural contraception unless there is a very serious reason for doing so.  In complete transparency, I can't say that my husband and I have followed the Church's teaching perfectly either.  I'm sure there have been times we have avoided conceiving when our only serious reason was serious selfishness.  Following God's way in a very "my-way" society is hard (harder than I ever imagined!), but my husband and I just keep praying and trying to place God's will for our quiver above our own.

I laughed when I first looked at the quiver with the pheasant-feathered arrows that I bought for my husband last Father's Day.  I laughed because I thought that 8 arrows would fill that thing up.  The reality before my eyes was not so.  There is still LOTS of room left in that quiver!!!  I guess I should have bought a smaller quiver!  :)  The thought of filling it with more arrows frightens me, but I trust that God knows my limitations and won't give my husband and I more than we can handle (I do worry that He might be a bit overconfident in my abilities though!).  Right now, these 5 boys on earth and 3 souls in heaven feel like all I can handle...  But God knows me better than I know myself.  He knows that I might need to be stretched (literally!) in order to grow out of my selfishness and bring new souls into the world who will glorify Him and fight for the Kingdom like the mighty arrows referred to in Psalm 127.  So, that was a long-winded answer to my question that I asked at the start.  The short answer would be that I have no idea if our quiver is full, but I know Who knows the answer, and I trust Him to do our family planning. :)

Words of Wisdom for Weary Moms...

This was a recent post from Sally Clarkson's blog.  She is replying to a weary mom who is trying to raise her children right but feeling like a failure (which I struggle with nearly every day!)  Sally's wise words reminded me of Truth (Satan sure tries to fill our minds with lies!) and brought me some peace and hope...perhaps they will be words you need to hear too.


Sally,

I am so thankful for your blog and your books have been such a blessing in my life. I consider you my mentor though you do not know me personally. I’m sure this is the wrong “forum” to ask a question, and if you do not respond I understand. But I dare to ask anyway.

What do you do when your life doesn’t come close to how you believe it should look? I read your words and I’m thankful for the vision you cast. But for some time the vision I have for my home seems so far from my reality and I have no idea how to reconcile the two, even in my mind. Discouragement and frustration have started to seep in.

As a mama of three little boys, a homeschool mother, and a pastor’s wife, I don’t believe there is enough of me to go around and I’m starting to feel like I can’t even cover the basics, much less enjoy the riches of this season. I’m sure this is just part of the journey and a part of life that every wife and mother must face, but I don’t want to end up taking the wrong path because I gave up hope for the best.

I feel guilty for more and more things – what I cook (or don’t cook), allowing my children too much watch TV or play the Wii too long, not teaching them well or enough or the right things, not keeping up with just the daily things that make a house run, letting down those that I love most. Is there a way to hit the reset button and just start over once you’ve allowed habits to form in yourself and your children that you don’t like? I believe God’s grace is enough. And I value wisdom from those I know have walked this path and stayed on course.”

From A heartfelt comment I received yesterday. How great her attitude to seek wise counsel. I would find wise women and then copy them!

Countless times, I felt like I was not accomplishing anything productive. This is such a hard job, to love, educate and help shape our children’s faith. It is especially challenging in a culture that offers so much differing advice that brings voices into our heads, which then that produces guilt and inadequacy. This same culture is isolationist and  provides few support systems or Biblical direction.

So many moms feel this way, but feelings do not necessarily determine reality!

Five principles have helped me when I am overwhelmed.

1. Remember. God is with you to help you succeed.

“If God is for you, who can be against you.” God is for you–for you. He wants you to succeed. He wants to work in your home. We are not adequate to complete the task of shaping our children’s hearts, minds and souls by ourselves. When God’s Spirit is working in our midst, He will take our fish and loaves, all that we have to give to Him, within our own limitations and together with Him, our labor becomes enough. I lived into this principle, asked God to make up for my shortcomings every day, and by faith lived as though what He promised was true. He is for you, mamas, if your heart is to serve Him. He has compassion on you, knows your weariness, and is your champion.

2. “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 There are always do-overs in God’s economy. All of us mess up, (He is mindful that we are but dust! Psalm 103) Peter blew it royally when he denied Christ at his hour of need, but before he even sinned, Jesus knew what was going to happen, and told Peter he had prayed for him. Jesus had compassion before Peter had even committed the act of denying Christ.

I wonder why we have the illusion that we are supposed to be perfect. Mamas, don’t be so hard on yourself and live within your limitations. You will not ever be perfect or do it totally right–not now, not next week, not even when you are 60! (Maybe when I am 70, I will be perfect!?) And to live in guilt because you have blown it or yelled at your kids or made mistakes is a big drainer. Depression is often the result of disappointed expectations. And often we disappoint our ideals.

But this is the fallen world, and we will never be able to control ourselves, our circumstances, our children or the world the live in. We live in grace and move toward maturity little by little. And so do your children. I promise, little by little they will grow up.

And your children will never be perfect, either. Love them as they are. Believe in them, touch them. Let little boys be boys, as you train them little by little to be heroes and leaders–civilization comes from a mama who treats them with respect, and gives them a heart to be dignified.

Let little ones be innocent and enter into their stages of life with joy.

Living in the grace and knowledge that God forgives, knows our limitations, is not surprised or disappointed, but wanting to give us hope is so very crucial. Don’t listen to the accusers voice. Of course you have fallen short–you are a mom and you are human.

3. “He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, “Arise, eat.” I Kings 19:5

Elijah was so very weary from spiritual battle that he despaired of his life–wished he hadn’t been born. But God knew he was extremely exhausted, battle worn, weary. So the first thing God did when Elijah poured out his heart to Him was to put him to sleep. He slept a long time–took time to physically rest. Next, and I love this, an angel touched him–physical touch, a hug, an embrace, a hand massage, a real massage, is a personal healer. I love it that God’s angel touched him and brought him comfort. Then, he still didn’t give him a lecture–instead, the angel fed him.

Sometimes mamas have been going for so long without a break, they start breaking down. A wise woman will learn her limitations and learn to say “no” so that she does not live in a constant state of exhaustion. And don’t feel guilty for saying no. You can only hold so many ideals at once, so be sure to hold on the ones that matter. And do what you are best at doing–don’t compare your life to someone else. And you may have to say no to some ministry at church for a season. Be reasonable–Jesus would never ask you to do everything–that is something you are putting on yourself–I know! I was in ministry and want to be available to everyone–but I just can’t meet all needs and have peace in my home. You might just need to start out your new beginning with sleep, a touch of gentle love and eating well–perhaps exercising–and then take time to ponder and plan..

We are not just minds and hearts–we are bodies with limitations. If we over-exert, we will crash and burn. When others are taking from us 24/7, we must wisely learn that taking care of ourselves is essential to our emotional and spiritual and physical well being. This season, if you are tired, be sure to take a break–get some rest, seek some physical comfort and restoration, eat well. You deserve to be cared for–even if you have to plan for it yourself. I know I kept waiting for someone to give me permission–didn’t happen. Finally, I took responsibility for my own happiness so that I could be happier and stronger for my kids on this long term journey.

I make beauty to remind me that I am worth something-I light candles, get some flowers at Sam’s or Costco’s–the kind that last 2 weeks, and I play music all the time.

4. “He who walks with the wise, grows wise, but  a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs

You might need some inspiration, some help, some counsel, some perspective. Find someone older, more experienced, wiser to meet with and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done. But I have found that when I give up my pride and take the courage to pour out my heart to wise people or more mature people, I usually find compassion and often find help. This is not always true–be discerning about who you entrust yourself to as there is a lot of foolish advice around.

My mentors for many years, were books. I was always finding books that were written by women or men older and more insightful in life. People will die for lack of instruction. I would seek to read, educate myself, find wisdom, find models of wisdom, integrity and I was a learner. I determined to learn and to get better every year.

This means being teachable and changing when we need to. We were also built for community. That is why every book I have written, I have designed to be able to be used in a small group, because godly friends are essential to my long term growth. Find wise people, books, conferences, a church, the word of God and gain wisdom. Just decide to get better every day, every year–grow, progress–don’t expect instant maturity on your part or your children’s.

5.”But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits.” God’s wisdom and leading lead us to peace, mercy and good fruit. Each of us must evaluate–what is stealing my peace? What is sucking my energy? How can I change it? This is a long distance run, not a sprint–wisdom from above will teach you to pace yourself–and not to say yes just to please others. You are quite free to be yourself, live your own story, live within your own limitations.

What notions are misleading you? Boys are given testosterone from God for a reason–they are supposed to grow up and be strong! Work with them, accept their noise, invest in their hearts, don’t try to control them–lead and inspire and train them little by little. (The 24 Family ways is a great tool for beginning to lay foundations for all the family together.)

What is not producing good fruit–your schedule? Your lack of rhythms and consistency with your children? Your lack of training with your children? Then put your finger on what is bothering you and make a practical step forward. How are you going to eliminate the stressors you have control over? How can you eliminate some of the drainers? What is one way you will become stronger and  more disciplined in the next month. Be very honest about what you must cut or quit doing or is your flaw and be vigilant about pursuing the wisdom that provides peace and good fruit.

Do first things, first. I always did devotions with the kids, first, every day. And then I read to them next. Because worshiping God has stayed with them as the oxygen we breathed every day and reading has taught all of them to think. So if I didn’t get anything else done–thy would worship God and engage in ideas–this has made all of them intellectually strong.

Say no! Limit yourself. Don’t accept responsibilities out of guilt. Don’t join activities because of voices.  And also, write down what fills you, inspires your heart, gives you a break, helps to keep you going a little bit longer–that is wisdom–creating a life that is more pleasant for yourself, more doable. Don’t copy someone else’s life, and don’t compare your children to others. Be yourselves and live your own happy story. God wants you to breathe and have freedom.

Well, I could go on for another 5. But, these are just a few of the things I have learned to do when I find myself walking a dark, discouraging path. Remember, there is always hope when you live in the love of God. This task of raising healthy, godly kids is not beyond reach. You just need to own your commitments, your wisdom, your choices and practice growing stronger. It doesn’t happen all at once. And remember,

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn which shines brighter and brighter until the full day.” Proverbs--every day, a little more light, a little more progress, and eventually, full brightness.

I am praying for all of you–but even more, God is praying for you and loves you. Don’t give into discouragement or inadequate feelings. With God all things are possible. He is so glad you are trying and that you care.  You are precious to Him and He is training your character to grow strong as you are training your children.

Off to bed, but I know you are going to be ok, because He will work in your life if you leave your burdens in His hands and He who began a good work will complete it–in His time, little by little, but fully complete it. God’s peace to you today!

Taken from Sally's blog:

http://www.sallyclarkson.com/there-is-always-hope-five-things-to-do-when-you-are-discouraged/

Saints and Resolutions for 2015

Statue of St. Gildas the Wise

Our family continued the fun and fruitful tradition of each choosing a patron saint for the New Year-- a saint to learn about, be inspired by, intercede through, and help us grow closer to Jesus (in theory, that is)  :}  Here are the saints God chose for us this year:

Paul:  St. Barnabas
Maria:  St. Gildas (I will have some research to do this year!)
Joseph:  St. Michael
Michael:  St. Matthew
Dominic:  St. John Vianney
Nathanael:  St. Barbara
Isaiah:  St. Lea

I have also borrowed the tradition of Ann Voskaamp of praying about a "word" or God-given "theme" to be my resolution for the New Year.  I think my word last year was "acceptance," which I have to admit that I failed miserably at adopting.  So I will keep working on accepting God's will for me this year, but I feel like God has placed a new theme on my heart as well:  PEACE.  This past year I have been drowning in my own anxious and melancholy thoughts, and I know that is not God's will for my life.  He constantly tries to throw me the life-preserver of His peace to cling to, and for some reason I keep trying to tread water on my own.  This year I will strive to pray more, read the Bible more, visit Jesus in the tabernacle more...all of which should help me to rest in God's peace as I float upon His mercy and grace that He constantly offers.  Pray that I can learn to accept it!

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give it to you.  So let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  (John 14:27)  

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You, because he trusts in You."  (Isaiah 26:3)

"Let the peace of God rule in your hearts...and be thankful."  (Colossians 3:15)

As always, if any of you would like me to draw a saint name for you, please don't hesitate to ask.  My son Michael spent days copying over 300 saint names onto pieces of paper, so there are plenty of saints to choose from!  :o)   You can either reply to this post and I will respond, or you can send me an email:  pmhurlbert@gmail.com.

Christmas Recap

A Merry and Blessed Christmas from our houseful to yours!

"Thanks be to God for His indescribable Gift!"

2 Corinthians 9:15

A heartfelt "Merry Christmas" to all of my friends, family, and random blog-readers out there!!!  :)  For any of you who were expecting a Christmas card in the mail from us this year...sorry, this is all you get! :}  I was too lazy, unorganized, and cheap to send out cards this year.  I think this is the first time in 14 years that I have skipped sending out cards, so it's a bit humbling for me...  But, it's also quite freeing to let go of my perfectionism and admit that I don't have it all together.  Nope, I didn't have it all together this Christmas, but at least I had Christ and this houseful of crazy boys, and that's all I really need.  So here's a quick recap of our Christmas...


I am happy to report that baby Jesus' manger had some hay in it to keep Him warm on Christmas day at our house!  I would have been even more pleased if there was more hay, but I think the tradition of adding hay for good deeds and losing hay for uncharitableness really made an impression on my boys' hearts, so at least the main goal was accomplished, right? :}

Christmas morning was simple and quiet at our home this year.  Grandma Jean left a few days before Christmas, so it was just "us."  The boys each had 3 small gifts to open, in honor of Jesus receiving 3 from the wise men.  We opened our gifts after Mass, after receiving Jesus in the flesh, the greatest Christmas Gift of all.   How I love being Catholic, especially at Christmas time!  Our Cathedral Church was simply magical...decorated in gold and white satin cascading from the ceiling, a gorgeous creche near the ambo, holy incense lifting our prayers heavenward, the organ praising God with the angels, and the altar always the center-stage for the miracle of Emmanuel coming down from heaven to be with us, resting on that altar just as real as He rested in that manger over 2000 years ago!   How blessed we are...even more blessed than those wise men or shepherds, for we not only get to see Him, we get to receive Him!  God is so good, so humble, so worthy of our love and praise!


Here is a recap of the boys' favorite gifts this year:

My favorite Christmas gift was going skiing with my boys.   We got dumped on with snow on Christmas Eve, so we truly had a lovely, "White Christmas."  The snow was powder-fresh, the cheesy-fries were hot, and the boys were not too embarrassed to ski with their mother (yet)!  :o)

Paul's favorite Christmas gift was starting the huge project of installing new flooring throughout the entire main floor of our house.  Yes, it will be loads of work, but somehow he is eager for the challenge!  I am so proud of him for tackling this enormous task.  He has to remove all the carpet in the living room, the ceramic tile in the entryway, and the old hardwood floor in the kitchen.   Then he has to put down new subflooring, and finally, install the new vinyl wood-looking planks!  Whew!  Because he will only be able to work in short increments at a time, it might take weeks or even months to complete, but he is saving us a bundle of money and I know it will look beautiful when it is complete!  Our hope is that this new look will help us to sell our house in the Spring, God-willing.

I admit that I did cry more than a tear or two this Christmas...  When will I ever pull myself together!?  I get homesick every holiday season, wishing we had family nearby to celebrate with us, and getting caught in the trap of wishing things were different rather than rejoicing in what I have.  I also have a hard time dealing with disappointment, and due to 3 of our kids being sick with terrible colds/coughs/fevers on Christmas Eve, we had to cancel our special dinner and music recital with dear friends of ours.  When I called them to cancel, I turned into a puddle of tears...hence, I was blessed with the gift of humiliation this Christmas too! The good news is that humiliation is the shortest path to humility, so I made some good progress this year! :o)  I really was a mess the days leading up to Christmas...it was a melancholy Christmas rather than a magical one for me.  But that's OK.  God was with me, my family was patient with me, and after going to confession twice in one week (gasp), I palpably felt God's mercy poured within me!  God is so good, and how I love Him so!

"We love Him because He first loved us!"

1 John 4:19

Pre-Christmas Highlights

Pre-Christmas-time is often a hectic, go-go-go-time, trying to get everything accomplished before the holidays.  I tend to get overwhelmed with finding the perfect presents for my kids, writing the perfect Christmas card with the perfect family photo, preparing a perfect holiday meal, while still trying to keep the focus on Christ somehow!?!?  Advent this year taught me that I can let go of perfectionism, and simply embrace the perfect Savior.  There is so much freedom in that!  Here are a few other things that helped our family to keep the Advent season Christ-centered:

1)  Our Advent devotional that we read as a family at night called "Bartholomew's Passage."  It has been a entertaining for all of us, and it really has great reflections at the end of each chapter to refocus our hearts on the true meaning of Christmas.

2)  We started a new tradition this year that I stole from my creative and holy friend Allison...  We have a tiny manger for baby Jesus, and each time I catch the boys doing a kind deed they get to put a piece of "hay" in the manger to make it soft and warm for baby Jesus.  However, if I catch the boys being selfish, unkind, or disobedient, they have to remove a piece of hay from the manger.  This has really been a concrete way to show the boys that their actions truly do effect Jesus.  Unfortunately, there have been a few days that many pieces of hay had to be removed...so I'm hoping and praying there will be some hay still left on Christmas morning when we place baby Jesus in the manger!  :}

3)  Last, but not least, Paul's mom came for a pre-Christmas trip that made Advent extra special.  Paul and I were even able to steal away for 2 nights while she babysat the kids!  We went to Whitefish, MT and stayed at a fancy resort that was so relaxing that I truly felt guilty being there!  We were able to eat at two fancy restaurants, soak in the hot tub at night, and I even was able to pamper myself at the spa by getting a facial (which actually back-fired on me and made my face break out for the next week!  Was that God's way of telling that I was being vain?)  But the best part was just having some quiet time to re-connect with my husband again.  With 5 kids in the house, we rarely have time to focus on "us," so this trip was truly one of the best Christmas presents ever!  Thank you so much, Grandma Jean!!!

Here are some highlights of our Advent season:

Paul with his mom, Jean.

We are so thankful she came to see the kids and give us a mini-vacation!

Here's my handsome husband, as we went on a walk in the woods, his favorite place to be!

It was sweet falling in love with him all over again...

I hope he felt the same way about me! :)

Me with a huckleberry margarita and one of the fanciest meals I've ever had!

How nice it was to not have to cook or cut up anyone's food (except my own)!

Michael got one of his greatest Christmas gifts ever...

he got his braces taken off a few days before Christmas!!!

To be honest, even though Christmas is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year,"

I really battle feelings of melancholy and loneliness.  We have no family nearby and I get homesick.

I have to search hard to find the beauty around me and constantly remind myself to be grateful for the many gifts I have been blessed with...

Thankfully, I don't have to search too hard to find reasons to smile!  :o)

These silly kids fill me with joy and gratitude daily!

Leading their little souls to Jesus is the greatest privilege on earth!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MAY GOD FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH MANY REASONS 

TO REJOICE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!