Son #4 turns 4!

Nathanael, our 4th son turned 4 this month!  Our son with the dimpled chin and perpetual grin.  This sweet boy is a delight to everyone around him and our family would be amiss without him.  His birthday party this year was simple, but he didn't seem to mind.  He was surrounded by the love of his closest friends, his crazy family, and his caring God who somehow (although I don't know how!) loves him more than me...it doesn't get any better than that if you really think about it.  Here are just a few sweet pics of this contagiously boisterous boy!  I dare you not to smile!  :o)

Double dog dare you!  :o)

To veil or not to veil?

I know it sounds crazy, and perhaps I really am crazy, but I bought a mantilla (commonly called a chapel veil) and I am prayerfully considering wearing it at Mass every Sunday.  There are a few women at our church who wear a veil, and every time I see them, something in my heart leaps because I think it looks so beautiful and holy and reverent in the Presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.  So I started doing research on the topic…and nearly every article that I read also made my heart leap and further convicted my mind that perhaps the Lord wants me to wear a veil too.  So then I ordered one online, and when it arrived this week, my heart leaped again as I pulled the soft ivory lace out of the box...  

I am so excited about veiling, but I’m crazy nervous about it.  

Why?  

Because I worry what people will think of me.  I worry that some will shake their head and think I’m being self-righteous and holier than thou…which is the opposite of what wearing a veil is all about!  Veiling is about humility and showing our awe and submission before God.  Veiling is not about drawing attention to ourselves.  It’s about drawing attention to JESUS, Who is "God-with-us" and so gracious to let us be in His Presence and receive Him into our bodies at Mass!  But how can it NOT draw attention to ourselves!?---it’s odd, it stands out, it's counter-cultural.  How I wish I could wear the veil and be invisible at the same time!   I wish I didn't care what people think.  I know I should only care what God thinks.  And right now, I think He wants me to veil to show my crazy-love for Him.  So, that is what I will do until He tells me otherwise.

Catholic women have been veiling for over 2000 years, so why does it sound so crazy now?  St. Paul strongly encouraged veiling in 1 Corinthians 11:1-17, and it is my understanding that it was the Jewish and Christian culture for women to veil during worship since the time of Jesus.  In my research I found that the 1917 Code of Canon Law included a requirement that women veil in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament:

Canon #1262:  "Men should attend Mass, either in church or outside church, with bare heads, unless approved local custom or special circumstances suggest otherwise; women, however, should have their heads veiled and should be modestly dressed, especially when they approach the table of the Lord."

This requirement was removed in 1983, and women quickly discarded the custom even though the church never discouraged the tradition--the church simply made it optional.  The more I read about it, the tradition of veiling sure sounds like a holy tradition--just like the tradition of receiving the Eucharist on the tongue, or praying the rosary, or lighting Advent candles.  I wish I had learned about veiling long ago, and I am praying that it leads me ever closer to Jesus who had such crazy love for me that He died for me.  The very least I can do is return my love for Him by doing something a bit crazy for Him. Veiling will be a way for me to show Him love and reverence, and I think that's worth being called crazy or anything else people may call me.  I made sure to ask my husband and my spiritual director about this crazy idea, and they both gave their "thumbs up"... So, here I go! Sunday will be my first day in a veil...  Would any of you like to mantilla with me?  :o)  Or if you already do, I’d love to hear about your journey!

If you’d like to read more about veiling, I highly recommend the website where I bought my beautiful veil:  www.veilsbylily.com.  In particular, I this article really touched my soul:  http://www.veilsbylily.com/jesus-swept-me-off-my-feet/

A Saintly Celebration

This was our 8th annual All Saints Celebration, and each year I am more and more convinced that this way of celebrating is TONS more fun than the secular way our culture celebrates Halloween...but I'll admit I'm a bit biased! :)  This year was extra fun for our family because for the first time ever we didn't have to host the event (which takes a load of stress off of this anxiety-prone momma!)  :)  We were so blessed to spend Halloween night with 2 of our favorite and most saintly families we know.  Between our three Catholic families, there were 18 saintly kids running around and having a splendid time (except for one of my sons who ate too much candy at school and felt sick most of the night...natural consequences are a bummer, but at least he learned a valuable lesson) :}  But aside from one tummy ache, the night was filled with saint games, heavenly food, a pumpkin pinata, a plethora of candy, edifying saint reports, a litany of the saints prayer, and hours of holy fun and fellowship.

This year in particular, I felt like our culture went overboard on decorations and costumes that seemed to celebrate evil and gore.  Many of our neighbors spent hundreds of dollars on creepy blow-up yard toys, and it was disturbing to me how many people seemed to decorate there homes more for Halloween than they do for Christmas.  I try not to be judgmental because I know that many people are just having innocent fun, and I grew up trick-or-treating like all the rest.   But now that I'm an adult with children whose hearts I am trying to point towards heaven, I tend to see the secular holiday in a different light.  Quite frankly, the holiday seems absent of light and glory for God, which is why we try to celebrate it in a totally different way, a way that I hope made Jesus and the saints smile from up above on us crazy Catholics down below! :)

Here's some evidence of our crazy Catholic fun:

Our "saintly" boys:

Dominic as St. Martin of Tours

Michael as St. Juan Diego

Nathanael as St. Michael the Archangel

Isaiah as St. George

Joseph as St. Thomas Aquinas

Our boys with their saintly friends...

(there were 6 more kiddos that arrived later and missed the photo opp) :(

Max, the fiercely adorable dragon, with St. George, the dragon-slayer, in the background!

Dominic playing the St. Christopher game!

Joseph, Eric, and Josh competing to see who can keep 3 balloons suspended in the air the longest...

after all, saints require persistence in this crazy world, right!?

Joseph and Eric cramming right before giving their saint reports :)

Happy All Saint's Day!

P.S. Don't forget to ask for the saints' intercession this month,

and also to pray for the holy souls in purgatory!!!

Gotta Love Grandma and Grandpa!

My parents came for a quick visit last week, and, as always, every moment is filled with fun.  My kids couldn't ask for better grandparents!  From baking cookies, to teasing, to playing card games, to tickling, to buying toys, to taking the kids out for treats...they just shower our kids with love and attention every second they are here.  What a blessing grandparents are!  I wish we could spend more time with them, but I guess living far apart sure makes us treasure the times we do get to spend together even more!  Here are just a few pictures of their last visit...

Isaiah and Grandma Theresa baking cookies together!

From the looks of it, Grandma was letting Isaiah snitch some of the cookie dough!

Grandpa Pat ticking and teasing Isaiah.
Grandpa loves to tease all the boys at every opportunity!

Everyone gathered for our traditional fish-fry:
My dad always brings some walleye that he caught in SD to cook for us...YUM!
(Someone needs to teach my teenager to smile!  Joseph truly is a happy kid,
he just is going through a "need to look like a cool-guy" phase in photos) :}

A tasty close-up of Grandpa's walleye feast and some homemade bread!
Man does not live on bread alone,
but on every word that comes from God...
AND on the love that comes from Grandmas and Grandpas!!!  :)

Some Poem

Sometimes the depth of my shallowness drowns me
Sometimes the breadth of my narrow-mindedness confounds me
Somehow the invisible thread of mercy I cling to holds me
Somehow He loves me despite me
Someday His arms will surround me
Somehow that's enough for me

House Off the Market

We officially took our house off the market this week.  Bittersweet to say the least.  The past 7 months of trying to keep a house immaculately clean with 5 young boys living in it equaled 7 months of stress for me.  I learned I don't wear stress well.  I become like the Wicked Witch of the West.  I'm quite certain that if one of my boys would have dumped a bucket of water on me the day of a house showing, I would have instantly melted into a puddle and vanished forever.

So, needless to say, it feels like a huge relief for our whole family to have it off the market!  We became quite efficient at cleaning, but that doesn't mean we learned to like it :)  It is a bit disappointing though, that after so many months of diligent prayer and hard work, we were unsuccessful at selling our house.  However, we prayed very specifically for God's will to be done, so we are trusting that He has a better plan than ours that He will reveal to us in His perfect timing.  We will probably list our house again in the Spring.  Until then, I will simply try to enjoy these months of not having to worry about toys on the floor, dust on the furniture, or melting into a puddle! :o)

"JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU!"

Retreat Recap

Well, it has taken me a few days to process all of my feelings about my silent retreat, but I think I can finally put my thoughts into words (and pictures, of course!)  :)

The retreat had positives and negatives...  I'll start with the positives and try to be brief and charitable about the negatives :)

The best part, by far, was sitting with Jesus in the church and just being able to rest in His Presence.   Honestly, I wish I could have just brought a sleeping bag and slept right there at His feet in front of the Tabernacle.  But, alas, I was given a warm, comfy bed next door to the church, in a room filled with all sorts of feminine frillies :)  It was a lovely room, and it did feel nice to be pampered in pink for a change! :)   And best of all, I could run over to visit Jesus next door whenever I desired!

I also loved being able to go on nature walks while praying the rosary or the chaplet or just taking in the beauty around me.  The retreat was in Sheridan, MT, which is a tiny community, surrounded by gorgeous mountains.  Everywhere you look, you feel like you are being hugged by the infinite arms of the Creator.

The food on the weekend was absolutely gourmet, and what a gift it was not to have to cook, or cut up anyone else's food into bite-size pieces, or clean up the dishes!  Again, the feminine touch was apparent at every meal, with fresh-cut flowers, a different table cloth, and fine china dishes!  I loved the silence during the weekend, but it was a little awkward at mealtime...  Imagine 4 women sitting at the same table and not being able to chit chat!  It was like an act of penance as we were all preoccupied with trying not to chew our food too loudly or make eye contact (because that would give the urge to talk) !  :)

My sweet and holy friend Renee, who was the amazing cook and helper on the weekend,
 and Linda, who organized the retreat and gave spiritual direction

Another highlight for me was having the freedom to be able read to my heart's content!  At home I rarely take the time to read because there is always something more urgent to be done; plus, by the time the kids go to bed I'm exhausted and ready for bed too!  :o)  What a blessing it was for me to be able to read a couple of spiritual book that have been sitting beside my bed for months, and to finish them entirely!  My favorite book of all was Jesus Our Eucharistic Love.  This book truly set my heart on fire for Jesus, and I wish I could give it to everyone I know so that they can fall more in love with Jesus in the Eucharist too.  The book inspired me so much that I am now reading it to my boys at night.  May it help our whole family to set the world ablaze with love for Jesus!

Other special moments were sitting around the campfire contemplating how to keep the fire of my love for Jesus burning in my heart at all times...

...and praying the rosary beneath this gorgeous tree in the early mornings.

This is me with the other retreatants, who I never really got to meet due to the silent nature of the retreat.  It would have been neat to get a glimpse of their spiritual journey, but perhaps the Lord just wanted us to focus on Him alone.   And honestly, I found great freedom in that.

And now for the parts that I struggled with...  I don't want to share too much for fear of offending anyone, nor do I want to dissuade others from attending this retreat because they might have a completely positive experience.  That being said, I did have a difficult time during my daily hour of spiritual direction with the woman who organizes the retreats.  I tried so hard to keep my heart and mind open to what the Lord wanted to share with me on my retreat, but I felt like the spiritual director kept taking me on a detour from where I felt the Lord wanted me to go.  Linda, who was the spiritual director for my retreat, is certainly a faith-filled woman passionate about serving the Lord.  But I think she and I are just two very different people with very different spiritualities.  During my prayer time and reading time, I would feel my heart just burning with love for Jesus.  And then I would go to spiritual direction, and my zeal would suddenly evaporate into clouds of confusion.  This caused many tears and much frustration for me.  But I trust that God allowed this for some reason, for I believe that He uses all things for good.  One good that came out of my frustration was that I found myself clinging to Jesus, Mary, and the Saints.  By focusing on God's unchanging Truth, I knew I could not be led astray.  I also learned that it's OK to be frustrated, confused, and lost in the thicket sometimes, for as long as we keep searching for the Lord and trusting in His love for us, He will find us and lead us back to His Sacred Heart.   

Thank You, Jesus, for being with me on my retreat,
for drawing me closer to Your Sacred Heart and closer to Your mother too.
Please stay with me always, even when I feel frustrated and confused.
I place all my trust in You.

P.S.  Next year, I think I will create my own retreat...  I'll find a nice hotel located near a Catholic Church.  I'll sleep in, take bubble baths, read books, eat at nice restaurants, and go visit Jesus in the Tabernacle many times throughout the day.  Anyone want to join me?  :o)