Recalling some St. Therese miracles on my trip to Medjugorje

"God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint. It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults. But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new. . . .  It is your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven!  And so there is no need for me to grow up. In fact, just the opposite: I must stay little and become less and less."   

St. Therese, the Little Flower

St. Therese is so humble that I'm sure she would not wish to be honored on a feast day, but she would want God to be honored and for others to find a way to grow closer to the God she loved so very much---and that is what her feast day is all about.  Her feast day points people to her "Little Way"--a way that everyone can use to become a saint!  I am so grateful that she taught us this way to holiness, because lately I feel so small, so little, so sinful, so insecure, and so incapable of succeeding at all the things I wished I would be great at:  marriage, motherhood, holiness, leading others to holiness...  But, Therese's words remind me that God loves my littleness; His mercy covers my sins; He will carry me to heaven because He knows I am too weak to get there myself.   What a relief!  :)  Thank you, God.  St. Therese, pray for us to walk confidently in your Little Way!

It also seems fitting to share some St. Therese "miracles" that happened to me in Medjugorje back in June of 2015.  Like many other Catholics, I have a tender devotion to Therese and often ask for her intercession when I have an important prayer request.  So, when Paul and I went to Medjugorje, I wanted to pray a novena to St. Therese and ask her to pray for us on our pilgrimage.  Specifically, I asked for her to pray that our pilgrimage would help Paul and I receive the graces we needed to grow in holiness and to find healing and joy in our marriage.  

The day Paul and I arrived in Medjugorje, we found out that we would be staying at a little hotel called "The Two Hearts" (referring to the two Hearts of Jesus and Mary).  I was slightly disappointed, because we had been told there was a chance that we would be staying at the visionary Marjana's house, but I tried to offer up my disappointment and embrace what God had given me :}  We were handed our room key, but when we unlocked the door to our room, we saw that someone else already had their luggage in that room, so we headed back to get a different room key.  When we walked into the second room that was given to us, a huge smile spread across my face, because the only thing in the room, aside from 2 single beds and a crucifix, was a picture of St. Therese.  I was sure this was a little gift from God, and that He was assuring me at the start of our pilgrimage that Therese would be with us, interceding for us during our stay in Medjugorje.  It was my first little Medjugorje miracle!  :)

The second little St. Therese miracle occurred 6 days into our pilgrimage.  We were told that we would have to leave the Two Hearts Hotel to make room for a larger pilgrimage group that was arriving. The up-side, however, was that we were given the honor of moving to the visionary Jakov's house to stay for the remainder of our pilgrimage!!!  I was thrilled!  But there was a part of my heart that was sad to leave our old room because I really liked the consolation of St. Therese's picture and the reminder that she was praying for us.  But again, I tried to offer up my disappointment and embrace what God had given me.  So we headed to Jakov's house and were given our new room key.  We walk in the door, and again, a smile spread across my face.  This time, there was no picture of St. Therese on the wall, but I clearly felt her presence when I saw what was in the room:  2 single beds, a crucifix, and a rose-covered chair with Carmelite brown curtains behind it :)  God is so good to me!  :)

Aside from "being showered with roses" in our two hotel rooms, I felt the Little Flower's presence everywhere I went in Medjugorje.  Paul and I prayed our Therese novena every day, and the words to the novena guided our hearts towards her "Little Way," teaching us to offer up our littleness, our weaknesses, our sins, our sufferings, our disappointments to God with joy (that's the hard part), trusting with Therese-like confidence that He will transform those offerings into something fruitful.  I constantly felt St. Therese whispering in my heart:  "Maria, it is OK to be little and not accomplish the great things you had hoped to do for God...your little acts of love and small sacrifices are just as pleasing to God as great big deeds for His glory."  "It is OK to be a big failure because God's mercy is bigger than your mistakes (oh and by the way, God's mercy is big enough to cover your husband's mistakes too!) :}" And throughout the entire pilgrimage, Therese kept guiding my eyes to find the littlest flowers on the paths that we tread, beautiful, hidden weeds that no one else would notice, to remind me to embrace my littleness.  One tiny flowering weed offered to God with a heart full of love is worth more than an offering of grand, gorgeous roses.   All around me I saw pilgrims placing huge expensive bouquets of flowers at the feet of the statues of Mary, but all I had to offer Our Lady was a small handful of tiny, beautiful weeds.  And Therese whispered to me, "It is a beautiful offering--YOU are a beautiful offering, because you are filled love."  God gave me so many opportunities to offer up little flowers of love and sacrifice to Him on our pilgrimage.  Some of the opportunities I embraced, others I did not, but I was at least learning to see them as opportunities.  Even the failed opportunities I could offer to God!  The Little Flower was gently teaching me her Little Way every day that I was there. 

And then my third St. Therese miracle happened when I got home from Medjugorje.  At the end of a St. Therese novena, it is not uncommon for Therese to send a rose from heaven to reassure you that she heard your prayers and interceded for you.  In fact, right before she died, she told her fellow nuns that "she would spend her heaven doing good upon the earth and let fall a shower of roses."  So, on the last day our novena, I went to the adoration chapel in my parents' town to pray for an hour.  I walked into the chapel and immediately saw a statue of St. Therese, and on the floor beneath her, someone had placed a beautiful red rose in a simple glass bowl.  I felt it was my rose sent from heaven.  Therese had heard my prayers, and God had certainly granted the graces that Paul and I needed during our pilgrimage to help us grow in holiness and find healing and joy in my marriage again.  God is so good. St. Therese is so faithful.  I am so grateful!

Paul and I in Medjugorje in 2015---

working on growing closer to each other and to God,

through the intercession of Mary and St. Therese :)

I'm happy to report that 5 years later our marriage has never been better!

(and that's another miracle to be sure!) :)

My family and I wish you a happy Feast of St. Therese!

May we all learn to walk the way of "littleness"!!!

St. Therese, pray for us!

Totus Tuus,

~Maria

A Message of Peace during these Peaceless Times

During these crazy times of Covid and riots and chaos, here is a hope-filled message from Our Lady of Medjugorje that was given to the visionary Marija on July 25th:

July 25, 2020

 

"Dear children! In this peaceless time in which the devil is harvesting souls to draw them to himself, I am calling you to persevering prayer, so that in prayer you discover the God of love and hope. Little children, take the Cross in your hands. May it be your encouragement for love to always win, in a special way now when the Cross and faith are rejected. You be a reflection and an example with your lives that faith and hope are still alive and a new world of peace is possible. I am with you and intercede for you before my Son, Jesus. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Totus Tuus,

~Maria

Recent Messages from Our Lady of Medjugorje

January 25, 2018, Message to Marija

"Dear children! May this time be for you a time of prayer, so that the Holy Spirit, through prayer, may descend upon you and give you conversion. Open your hearts and read the Sacred Scripture, that through the testimonies you also may be closer to God. Above everything, little children, seek God and the things of God and leave earthly ones to the earth, because Satan is attracting you to the dust and sin. You are called to holiness and created for Heaven; therefore, seek Heaven and the things of Heaven. Thank you for having responded to my call."

February 02, 2018 Message to Mirjana

"Dear children, you whom my Son loves, you whom I love with an immeasurable motherly love, do not permit for selfishness, for self love, to rule the world. Do not permit for love and goodness to be hidden. You who are loved, who have come to know the love of my Son, remember that to be loved means to love. My children, have faith. When you have faith you are happy and are spreading peace; your soul trembles with joy. My Son is in such a soul. When you are giving yourself for the faith, when you are giving yourself for love, when you are doing good to your neighbor, my Son smiles in your soul. Apostles of my love, I am turning to you as a mother. I am gathering you around myself and I desire to lead you on the way of love and faith, on the way which leads to the light of the world. I am here for the sake of love, for the sake of faith, because with my motherly blessing I desire to give you hope and strength on your way - because the way which leads to my Son is not easy. It is full of renunciation, giving, sacrifice, forgiveness and much, much love. But this way leads to peace and happiness. My children, do not believe lying voices which speak to you about false things, false glitter. You, my children, return to the Scripture. I am looking at you with immeasurable love, and through God's grace am making myself evident to you. My children, set out with me. May your soul tremble with joy. Thank you."

Medjugorje Message to Mirjana---SHINE with LOVE!

April 2nd Message to Mirjana

"Dear children, apostles of my love, it is up to you to spread the love of my Son to all those who have not come to know it; you, the little lights of the world, whom I am teaching with motherly love to shine clearly with full brilliance. Prayer will help you, because prayer saves you, prayer saves the world. Therefore, my children, pray with words, feelings, merciful love and sacrifice. My Son has shown you the way - He who became incarnate and made of me the first chalice, with His exalted sacrifice He has shown you how you need to love. Therefore, my children, do not be afraid to speak the truth. Do not be afraid to change yourself and the world by spreading love, by doing everything for my Son to be known and loved by loving others in Him. As a mother I am always with you. I am imploring my Son to help you for love to reign in your life - love that lives, love that draws, love which gives life. I am teaching you such love - pure love. It is up to you, my apostles, to recognize it, live it and spread it. Pray with feeling for your shepherds so that they can witness my Son with love. Thank you."

Mirjana's Annual Apparition with Mary

The visionary Mirjana Dragicevic-Soldo had daily apparitions from June 24th 1981 to December 25th 1982. During the last daily apparition, Our Lady gave her the 10th secret, and told her that she would appear to her once a year, on the 18th of March.  It has been this way through the years. Several thousand pilgrims gathered in prayer of the Rosary. 

March 18, 2017

"Dear children!  My motherly desire is for your hearts to be filled with peace, and for your souls to be pure so that in the presence of my Son you could see His face. Because, my children, as a mother I know that you thirst for consolation, hope and protection. You, my children, consciously and unconsciously are seeking my Son. I also, as I passed the time on earth, rejoiced, suffered and patiently endured pains, until my Son, in all His glory, removed them. And that is why I am saying to my Son: help them always. You, my children, with true love, illuminate the darkness of selfishness which all the more envelopes my children. Be generous. May both your hands and heart always be open. Do not be afraid. Abandon yourselves to my Son with trust and hope. As you look towards Him, live life with love. To love means to give oneself, to endure, and never to judge. To love means to live the words of my Son. My children, as a mother I am speaking to you: only true love leads to eternal happiness. Thank you."

Medjugorje Christmas Messages from Our Lady

The Christmas season is over, but I thought these latest messages from Our Lady of Medjugorje during this resent Christmas season were worth sharing.  The visionaries say that when she appears to them on Christmas Day, she is always carrying the infant Jesus in her arms and is filled with joy.  I love picturing that.  May these messages from heaven fill you with joy and hope this New Year!



December 25, 2016 Message to Marija

"Dear children! With great joy, today I am carrying my Son Jesus to you, for Him to give you His peace. Open your hearts, little children, and be joyful that you can receive it. Heaven is with you and is fighting for peace in your hearts, in the families and in the world; and you, little children, help with your prayers for it to be so. I bless you with my Son Jesus and call you not to lose hope; and for your gaze and heart to always be directed towards Heaven and eternity. In this way, you will be open to God and to His plans. Thank you for having responded to my call."



January 2, 2017 Message to Mirjana

"Dear children, My Son was the source of love and light when he spoke on earth to the people of all peoples. My apostles, follow His light. This is not easy. You must be little. You must make yourselves smaller than others; with the help of faith to be filled with His love. Not a single person on earth can experience a miraculous experience without faith. I am with you. I am making myself known to you by these comings, by these words; I desire to witness to you my love and motherly care. My children, do not waste time posing questions to which you never receive an answer. At the end of your journey on earth, the Heavenly Father will give them to you. Always know that God knows everything; God sees, God loves. My most beloved Son illuminates lives, dispels darkness; and my motherly love which carries me to you is inexpressible, mysterious but real. I am expressing my feelings to you: love, understanding and motherly benevolence. Of you, my apostles, I am asking for your roses of prayer which need to be acts of love. To my motherly heart these are the dearest prayers. I offer these to my Son who was born for your sake. He looks at you and hears you. We are always close to you. This is the love which calls, unites, converts, encourages and fulfills. Therefore, my apostles, always love one another and above all, love my Son. This is the only way to salvation, to eternal life. This is my dearest prayer which fills my heart with the most beautiful scent of roses. Pray, always pray for your shepherds that they may have the strength to be the light of my Son. Thank you."

The New Messages from Medjugorje

October 25, 2016 Message to Marija

 "Dear children! Today I am calling you: pray for peace. Leave selfishness and live the messages which I am giving you. Without them, you cannot change your life. By living prayer, you will have peace. By living in peace, you will feel the need to witness, because you will discover God whom you now feel to be far away. Therefore, little children, pray, pray, pray and permit God to enter into your hearts. Return to fasting and confession so as to overcome the evil in you and around you. Thank you for having responded to my call."


 November 02, Message to Mirjana

"Dear children, to come to you and to make myself known to you is a great joy for my motherly heart. It is a gift from my Son for you and for others who are coming. As a mother I am calling you: love my Son above everything. In order to love Him with all your heart, you need to come to know Him. You will come to know Him through prayer. Pray with the heart and with your feelings. To pray means to think of His love and sacrifice. To pray means to love, to give, to suffer and to offer. I am calling you, my children, to be apostles of prayer and love. My children, it is a time of vigilance. In this vigil I am calling you to prayer, love and trust. As my Son will be looking in your hearts, my motherly heart desires for Him to see unconditional trust and love in them. The united love of my apostles will live, will conquer and will expose evil. My children, I was a chalice of the God-man; I was God's instrument. That is why I am calling you, my apostles, to be a chalice of the true and pure love of my Son. I am calling you to be an instrument through which all those who have not come to know the love of God—who have never loved—may comprehend, accept and be saved. Thank you, my children." (While Our Lady was leaving, Mirjana saw a chalice.)

Happy Birthday, Blessed Mother Mary!!!

On this special Feast Day celebrating Our Lady's birth, I thought it would be fitting to share her latest message from Medjugorje.  How blessed we are to have such a loving mother, who is constantly trying to lead us to Jesus and to eternal happiness in Heaven!


September 2, 2016 Message to Mirjana

“Dear children, according to the will of my Son and my motherly love, I am coming to you, my children, but especially to those who have not yet come to know the love of my Son. I am coming to you who think of me and who invoke me. To you, I am giving my motherly love and I am carrying the blessing of my Son. Do you have pure and open hearts, and do you see the gifts, the signs of my presence and love? My children, in your earthly life, be led by my example. My life was pain, silence and immeasurable faith and trust in the Heavenly Father. Nothing is by chance: neither pain, nor joy, nor suffering, nor love. All of these are graces which my Son grants to you and which lead you to eternal life. Of you, my Son asks for love and prayer in Him. As a mother I will teach you: to love and to pray in Him means to pray in the silence of your soul and not only reciting with your lips; it is even the least beautiful gesture done in the name of my Son - it is patience, mercy, the acceptance of pain and sacrifice done for the sake of another. My children, my Son is looking at you. Pray that you also may see His face and that it may be revealed to you. My children, I am revealing to you the only and real truth. Pray that you may comprehend it and be able to spread love and hope; that you may be able to be apostles of my love. In a special way, my motherly heart loves the shepherds. Pray for their blessed hands. Thank you.”

July Medjugorje Message to Mirjana---well worth reading

July 2, 2016 message to Mirjana

 "Dear children, my real, living presence among you should make you happy because this is the great love of my Son. He is sending me among you so that, with a motherly love, I may grant you safety; that you may comprehend that pain and joy, suffering and love, make your soul live intensely; that I may call you anew to glorify the Heart of Jesus, the heart of faith, the Eucharist. From day to day through the centuries, my Son, alive, returns among you - He returns to you, though He has never left you. When one of you, my children, returns to Him, my motherly heart leaps with joy. Therefore, my children, return to the Eucharist, to my Son. The way to my Son is difficult, full of renunciations, but at the end, there is always the light. I understand your pains and sufferings, and with motherly love I wipe your tears. Trust in my Son, because He will do for you what you would not even know how to ask for. You, my children, you should be concerned only for your soul, because it is the only thing on earth that belongs to you. You will bring it, dirty or clean, before the Heavenly Father. Remember, faith in the love of my Son will always be rewarded. I implore you, in a special way, to pray for those whom my Son called to live according to Him and to love their flock. Thank you."

Medjugorje (double) Anniversary

Yesterday, June 24th, was the anniversary of when the Medjugorje apparitions first began back in 1981.  Wow, that means that God has been sending His Blessed Mother with a message for our world every day for the past 35 years!  What a time a grace this is...I sure hope our world is listening!  Many people think that it is no coincidence that Our Lady first appeared there on the Feast of John the Baptist.  John the Baptist was the herald of Jesus' 1st Coming, asking people to repent and prepare their hearts for Him.  And perhaps God has been sending Mary to Medjugorje as the herald of Jesus' 2nd Coming, asking people to repent and return their hearts back to Him.

This week also marks the 1 year anniversary of when my husband and I made our pilgrimage to Medjugorje in 2015.  So much healing, so much conversion, has taken place for so many souls (including my husband and I) because of these miraculous apparitions of Mary in that little village.  I am so thankful to God for His love and mercy in sending His Son to die for us, as well as His Mother to appear to us in order to point us back to Him.

Here is the latest message from Our Lady in Medjugorje given to Marija on June 25th:

"Dear children! Give thanks to God with me for the gift of my being with you. Pray, little children, and live God’s commandments that it may be good for you on earth. Today, on this day of grace, I desire to give you my motherly blessing of peace and of my love. I intercede for you with my Son and call you to persevere in prayer so that, with you, I can realize my plans. Thank you for having responded to my call."


Here is the history of Medjugorje and the visionaries:
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/09/medjugorje-101_24.html

And here is our personal pilgrimage story from last year:
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/10/medjugorje-why-there.html

Our Lady, Queen of Peace, Pray for Us!!!

latest Medjugorje Message...

Here is the latest message from Our Blessed Mother to the visionary Mirjana in Medjugorje.  These words seemed perfect for Divine Mercy weekend, and also perfect for my heart today.  May they touch your heart deeply, like healing balm, and bring you ever closer to Jesus' merciful heart this weekend.


April 2, 2016 Message to Mirjana

"Dear children, do not have hearts that are hard, closed and filled with fear. Permit my motherly love to illuminate them and fill them with love and hope; so that, as a mother, I may soothe your pains because I know them, I experienced them. Pain elevates and is the greatest prayer. My Son, in a special way, loves those who suffer pains. He sent me to soothe them for you and bring hope. Trust in Him. I know that it is difficult for you because you see more and more darkness around you. My children, it is necessary to break it by prayer and love. The one who prays and loves is not afraid, he has hope and a merciful love, he sees the light and sees my Son. As my apostles, I call you to keep trying to be an example of merciful love and hope. Always pray anew for all the more love because merciful love brings light which breaks every darkness - it brings my Son. Do not be afraid, you are not alone, I am with you. I implore you to pray for your shepherds that at every moment they may have love, that they may work for my Son with love - through Him and in memory of Him. Thank you."

Latest Medjugorje Message

Here is the translation of Our Lady of Medjugorje's February 25, 2016 message to the visionary Marija.  I thought it was quite poignant for our culture, which is so distracted by so many things that few people take the time to pray...

"Dear children! In this time of grace, I am calling all of you to conversion. Little children, you love little and pray even less. You are lost and do not know what your goal is. Take the cross, look at Jesus and follow Him. He gives Himself to you to the death on the cross, because He loves you. Little children, I am calling you: return to prayer with the heart so as to find hope and the meaning of your existence, in prayer. I am with you and am praying for you. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Latest Medjugorje Message

The latest message from the Blessed Mother to the visionary Mirjana in Medjugorje was particularly beautiful and worth sharing.  May it bring you joy and encourage you to bring joy to Jesus and Mary through your love of them and others.


January 02, 2016 Message to Mirjana

 "Dear children, as a mother, I am joyful to be among you because I desire to speak anew about the words of my Son and of His love. I hope that you will accept me with the heart, because the words of my Son and His love are the only light and hope in the darkness of today. This is the only truth and you who will accept and live it will have pure and humble hearts. My Son loves those who are pure and humble. Pure and humble hearts bring to life the words of my Son, they live them, they spread them and they make it possible for everyone to hear them. The words of my Son bring back life to those who listen to them. The words of my Son bring back love and hope. Therefore, my beloved apostles, my children, live the words of my Son. Love each other as He loved you. Love each other in His name, in memory of Him. The Church is advancing and growing because of those who listen to the words of my Son; because of those who love; because of those who suffer and endure in silence and in the hope of final redemption. Therefore, my beloved children, may the words of my Son and His love be the first and the last thought of your day. Thank you."


To learn more about Medjugorje, click here: 
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/09/medjugorje-101_24.html

To read more about our personal experience in Medjugorje, click here:
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/10/medjugorje-why-there.html

Belated Thanksgiving Note

I hope all of you had a thank-filled and joy-filled Thanksgiving!  To be honest, mine was filled a feast full of sadness and tears, but I still tried to give a litany of thanks in between my crying episodes :}  Ai-ya-yai!  I'm a pathetic mess at this time of year...  Hunting season seems to get harder for me to handle each year, and I  get a bit homesick being so far away from family during these big holiday feasts.  But God always surrounds me with things to be thankful for if I would just wipe the tears away and take a look outside of my selfish-self. 

This morning, for example, I awoke to glittery frost all over the trees and fields around our house...  Each glistening flake is a kiss from God, an "I love you" from Heaven...and He was just waiting for me to notice and say "thank You" or "I love You" in return.  Some days it is harder than others to notice the God-sent gifts around us; some days we simply have to will it, to force ourselves to be grateful because we feel so broken inside, but I think God is pleased with our efforts even when they don't come naturally.  I find hope in the Psalmist's words:  

"He who offers a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving honors Me."  Psalm 50:23 

Sometimes giving thanks feels like a sacrifice, but it still honors God if we choose to be thankful despite the sadness we might be going through.  Perhaps it even consoles His Heart more when we thank Him through our tears, because it means that we love Him enough to come to Him just as we are (weepy, weak, sinful, and sad), and we trust that He loves us just as we are.  

So anyway, to fit with the Thanksgiving theme, here is our family's top 10 list of gifts that we are thankful for:

1. The Eucharist:  The Greek word “Eucharisteo” literally means “to give thanks.”  That is so fitting because the fact that God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for our sins and continues to give us Jesus’ life-giving Body and Blood in the Eucharist is certainly something to be thankful for! 
2. Our Marriage:  As most of you who are married know, marriage is hard sometimes. The past few years have been particularly hard for us, but God has taught us so much through the struggles and guided us closer to Him and to each other as we have learned how to love and forgive as God loves and forgives us.  We also learned to never lose hope, because God can bring good out of every circumstance if we trust in Him.  Our marriage received some extra special graces this summer when we took a pilgrimage to Medjugorje, which is a village in Bosnia where the Blessed Virgin Mary has been miraculously appearing every day since 1981, giving messages of peace, conversion, and love.  We hope that as we live those messages, our marriage and our family will grow in holiness and help set the world on fire with love for God. 
3. Joseph:  Joseph is now 14 and we can sure tell that he is a teenager!  He is now taller than his mother, and his hair has become crazy-curly like his father’s (was) J  His favorite activities lately are:  altar serving at Mass, playing his violin, hanging out with his awesome 8^th grade friends from St. Andrew School, fishing with his grandpa, mountain biking, snow skiing, and playing baseball at every possible opportunity—especially pitching!
4. Michael:  Michael is 12 and is excelling in the 7^th grade.  He is our competitive child who is crazy about sports.  He was thrilled to play 2 seasons of baseball this year:  one in Helena, MT and one in Aberdeen, SD (because we spent the summer in SD while getting our house sold in MT).  His teams in Helena AND in Aberdeen won the championship tournaments, which was a boy’s dream come true.  He also enjoys being an altar server, fishing with grandpa, playing chess with dad, playing darts, playing football at recess, snow skiing, and mountain biking.
5. Dominic:  Dominic is 9 and having fun in the 3^rd grade.  He is our sweet and sensitive son with a heart bigger than Montana.  He is mommy’s biggest helper because he plays with his younger brothers so patiently and so well.  He loves school and was thrilled to finally be old enough to join the orchestra this year.  He chose the cello and plays it beautifully already.  He also enjoys baseball, snow skiing, mountain biking, and taking care of the chickens that we acquired at our rental house.
6. Nathanael:  Nathanael just turned 5 and it’s hard to believe that our sweet baby boy with the dimpled chin is now a big boy who goes to preschool, knows his ABCs, and can count to 1000!  He continues to be a complete delight to our family with his sweet and silly temperament and that adorable freckled face.  He is crazy about Legos, Bionicles, magnet blocks, Nerf guns, Wild Kratts, and playing with his brothers.
7. Isaiah:  Isaiah is 2 ½ and keeps us all smiling. He is fully potty-trained, so we no longer have a child in diapers---gasp!  He spends his days playing with jets, trains, and cars, chasing chickens in our yard, and following mommy wherever she goes.
8. Our family and friends:  We are so blessed with extended family that loves us, prays for us, and encourages us from afar.  With no family in Montana, we feel so very blessed to have such supportive friends through our Catholic Church and the boys’ Catholic School.  Our friends and family (both near and far) have been one of life’s biggest blessings as we constantly encourage one another on this often difficult journey towards heaven.
9. Our jobs:  Paul took on a new position within the Federal Aviation Administration this year and he has been enjoying it a lot.  It has provided him with new challenges to conquer, more flexible hours, and less traveling—hurray!  Maria continues to have the best job in the world as a stay-at-home mom.
10. A Soul-Changing Book: Our family is so thankful for a book that is truly expanding our souls and teaching us how to grow closer to Jesus in a profound way.  The book is called Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Fr. Michael Gaitley, and we hope you will put it on your “Must Read” list!  This book teaches anyone how to become a saint (yes, even if you are a weak, sinful soul—which we all are!), and at the same time how to console Jesus’ Heart that is hurt by all the souls who reject His love and mercy.  Through beautiful insights from saints whom Jesus Himself appeared to (such as St. Faustina and St. Margaret Mary Alacoque), the book explains how to console Jesus in surprisingly simple ways, like having confident trust in His mercy when we fail—for that gives Him the joy of being our Savior.  But I hope you will read the book for yourselves to learn even more ways to be consolers of Jesus’ Heart!

Our family hopes that you all have hearts full of “Eucharisteo”—thanksgiving—for all the blessings God has given you, too!  May all of our hearts grow in gratitude this year, and grow closer to Jesus’ Sacred Heart which loves us so much and is thirsting for us to love Him in return.  

As Jesus said in these powerful words when he appeared to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque:

“Behold this Heart, which loves so much, yet is so little loved. 

Do me the kindness then—you, at least—

of consoling my Heart as much as you can.

Yes, let’s console Jesus’ Heart with our love and gratitude as much as we can...

even if it is a sacrifice to do so at times.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Apparition Hill (and some spiritual warfare stories fitting for Halloween)

Apparition Hill is the most visited spot in Medjugorje for the obvious reason that the Blessed Mother first appeared on that hill in 1981 and continues to appear there still in 2015!  It was a bit surreal to hike that hill with my husband, knowing that millions of other pilgrims have climbed it before us and that the Virgin Mary herself has hovered right over the rocks we were treading upon.

 As pilgrims climb Apparition Hill, many of them pray the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary, which are beautifully displayed on bronze plaques going up the mountain.  One could spend hours just mediating upon the scenes on each plaque because they capture the life of Jesus so beautifully.

About half way up the mountain, pilgrims find a simple, wooden cross, which marks the spot that the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared the first time, giving the visionary children the first simple, yet profound, message:  "Peace, Peace, Peace, and only peace."  Standing at that spot which overlooks the peaceful village of Medjugorje certainly fills the soul with peace.  How I long to be standing there right now!

It was interesting to watch the different ways that pilgrims walk up Apparition Hill...some of them singing joyfully from the heart, some of them praying silently, and some (typically the Italians) praying so loudly it could be mistaken for rudeness.  It truly is a spiritual journey to tread upon those jacked rocks--surprisingly still sharp and precarious even after more than 30 years of erosion from pilgrims' feet.  One touching scene is to see the handful of pilgrims who choose to take their shoes of and hike the hill barefoot as a means of penance and to symbolize the fact that they are walking on holy ground.

Paul and I were blessed to be staying at homes very near Apparition Hill, which allowed us to hike the hill numerous times throughout our pilgrimage.  Every time I hiked the hill and made it to the beautiful Mary statue at the top, I would place my personal intentions and all the intentions of my family and friends into Our Blessed Mother's hands, who seemed to be waiting for them with a loving smile, as if she was about to say, "Of course I will take these prayers to my Son for you.  Thank you for entrusting them to me."

The top of Apparition Hill is where the apparitions of Mary took place during the first few weeks of Mary's visits in Medjugorje.  However, once the Communist government at the time found out about this mysterious phenomenon that was attracting thousands of Catholics to this obscure little village, they quickly tried to put a stop to it.  For weeks they barricaded the bottom of Apparition Hill so that no one could go up--not even the visionaries.  Therefore, the visionaries started having their apparitions of the Blessed Mother wherever they happened to be at 6:40pm.  Oftentimes, it was at St. James Church, sometimes in a field as they were running away from the Communist soldiers, and sometimes in their homes.  It was a special grace that Mary was willing to appear to them anywhere, unlike at Fatima and Lourdes in which Mary always appeared at one location.

One miracle of the early days of Medjugorje happened when the visionary children were running away from the Communist soldiers.  The parish priest at the time was Fr. Jozo, and he did not fully believe that Mary was appearing to the children.  He thought they were all making up a fantastic story to get attention.  So as he was praying in the church of St. James, begging for God to show him a sign to guide him as to whether or not he should support the children's crazy claims or denounce the whole affair, he heard a voice in his heart that said, "Go now and protect the children."  It seemed like an urgent command, and so he got up and started walking to the door of the church.  Just as he was about to open the main door of the church, the scared and frantic children came charging through a side door, seeking protection from the Communist authorities who were threatening to imprison them.  Fr. Jozo had received his sign and started believing that the Blessed Mother truly was appearing.  He suffered greatly for his belief.  He was imprisoned by the Communists for nearly 4 years and was not allowed to return as the pastor to Medjugorje.  But he tirelessly spent the following years spreading the messages of Medjugorje in the parish where he was at.

Fr. Jozo with the visionary children

Many pilgrims who came to Medjugorje would take a day-trip to Fr. Jozo's parish just to hear him speak because his testimony was so filled with the Holy Spirit.  I was blessed to hear Fr. Jozo speak the first time I went to Medjugorje in 1996.  It was his tradition to hand out holy cards with a beautiful picture of Mary on it.  On the back of the holy card was one of Mary's messages which was a powerful reminder of how to take the message of Medjugorje home with you...  He would explain Mary's message to the pilgrims by telling them to gather 5 stones from Apparition Hill as a reminder of the 5 stones that David used in the Bible to defeat Goliath.  Fr. Jozo said that these 5 stones symbolize 5 spiritual weapons that the Blessed Virgin Mary herself said will help you to defeat any "Goliaths" in your life:

1) The Rosary and prayer from the heart
2) The Eucharist
3) The Holy Bible
4) Fasting
5) Monthly Confession

Our holy and humble tour guide reminded us of Fr. Jozo's advice to pick 5 stones from Medjugorje, and so Paul and I had fun collecting stones of various sizes on our hikes up and down Apparition Hill.  Paul keeps 5 stones at work; I keep 5 stones in my car; and we also have stones on our kitchen window sill.  They are beautiful reminders of how to fight our various "Goliaths" throughout the day.

Fr. Jozo speaking to a group of pilgrims

Our tour guide also told us a story of spiritual warfare involving a stone from Medjugorje.  Apparently there was a priest who was a trained exorcist, and he decided to take a rock from Apparition Hill into the room where an exorcism was going to take place.  He put the rock in a box and then placed the box in a far corner of the room just to see what would happen.  As soon as the exorcism rite began, the possessed person starting violently yelling, "Take it out of here, take it out of here!"  The priest asked the possessed person what he wanted to be taken out of the room.  The demon, clearly in agony, yelled, "The box, the box!"  Again, the priest questioned further and asked why the box should be removed, and the demon finally said, "Because of the holy rock and her presence...I hate her!"  What a powerful confirmation that Satan and his demons do not like the Virgin Mary, and even the presence of her graces upon a rock from Apparition Hill can drive evil spirits away!  Satan can't stay long in the presence of what is holy, so I feel better knowing that I have some holy rocks, holy water, and other blessed items all over our house!  :}

The last story that I will share about apparition hill involves more spiritual warfare...  At first I was not going to share this story, because I didn't want to frighten anyone.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that this story truly is not frightening, but rather quite the opposite!  So, here it is...  Paul and I were blessed with the opportunity to be present for an evening apparition when Our Lady appeared to the visionary named Ivan.  This was not the daily 6:40pm apparition, but rather an extra apparition later in the evening which Mary told Ivan about in advance during his 6:40pm apparition.  She told him that she would appear to him again that evening at the top of Apparition Hill as a special grace for Ivan's youth group that he leads.  Paul and I went up the hill many hours early to find a spot to sit because we knew it would be crowded with thousands of people once the apparition time got near.  We waited for hours, but it did not seem long at all.  It was so beautiful to pray quietly and to watch the spectacular sun set as pilgrims slowly began to find a seat on every rugged rock at the top of Apparition Hill.

Paul reading and praying as we waited for the evening apparition.

The crucifix at the top of Apparition Hill near where we sat for the apparition.

A view of the beautiful sunset and all of the pilgrims waiting for Mary to appear.

The gorgeous sunset right before Mary appeared on Apparition Hill.

I never got to see "the miracle of the sun" like so many others in Medjugorje,
but this was close enough for me!

Ivan's youth group sang praise and worship songs for awhile, and then Ivan led the crowd in praying the rosary.  By this time, it was completely dark on Apparition Hill--probably around 9:00pm.  Paul and I were sitting very near the Mary statue because we had come to the hill so early to wait.  We chose a spot that was to the left of the Mary statue and higher up so that we would be able to see Ivan well and so that we wouldn't get squished in the big crowd.  There were some bushes right behind us, and just moments before the Blessed Virgin Mother was about to appear to Ivan, we heard the most horrible growl come from the bushes right behind us.  The growl was unlike any sound I had ever heard before--unlike any animal and unlike any sound that a person could possibly make.  I immediately knew it was a demon making that sound.  I was terrified.  I looked at my husband, and we did the only thing we could think of doing...we prayed.  All the people around us started praying too.  And then suddenly the growling sound seemed to jump to the center of the crowd and a young girl started thrashing on the ground and the horrible sounds were now coming from her!  Thankfully, there was an abundance of holy priests and holy pilgrims on the hill, and they all started praying for deliverance and protection from evil spirits.  Suddenly, Mary appeared to Ivan.  He stopped praying the rosary; his head looked up; peace was covering his face, and peace immediately covered the crowd.  The demonic growling stopped.  When Mary came, it was as if all evil was forced to flee.  The whole event dramatically proved to me that spiritual warfare is real...  The fact that the demon showed up moments before Mary appeared was a sign that demons visibly get agitated when they know something holy is about to happen and they try desperately to stop it.  The fact that the demon fled as soon as Mary appeared was a sign that evil spirits have no power in the presence of the holy.  Therefore, we truly have nothing to fear if we stay close to what is holy...namely, Jesus Christ, the Sacraments, and His Blessed Mother!  I cannot express how grateful I was to be in Mary's presence that night on Apparition Hill!  I now can say with so much more certainty that I believe Mary is appearing in Medjugorje, and that she is a powerful and safe refuge against sin and Satan.

Perhaps all this spiritual warfare talk is fitting as we approach Halloween, for it reminds us that Satan is real, but evil is easily defeated by the power of Jesus, His Cross, and His Blessed Mother!

To learn more about Medjugorje, click here:  http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/09/medjugorje-101_24.html

To read more about our personal experience in Medjugorje, click here:
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/10/medjugorje-why-there.html

Medjugorje: why there?

It is hard for me to know where to begin in sharing about my personal Medjugorje pilgrimage…  So I guess I will just start at the beginning and explain why my husband and I chose to go to Medjugorje at all.  After all, we could have spent a lot less money and went somewhere more tropical and fun like Hawaii, so why did we choose a poor village in the middle of Bosnia to spend our summer vacation?

Well, like I had explained in an earlier post, Paul and I truly believe that Our Lady of Medjugorje is largely responsible for the two of us getting married.  (Here's a quick recap for those who don't know the backstory: My senior year in high school I made my first pilgrimage to Medjugorje, and the biggest prayer intention on my heart was guidance in my vocation.  I was feeling equally drawn to the religious life and to married life, so I asked Our Lady at the top of Mount Krizevek (Cross Mountain) to send me my future husband my first year of college; otherwise, I would pursue religious life and not waste my money finishing college.  And she answered my prayer in a way that only could have been her careful arrangement.  While I was home from college on Christmas break, my brother Steve was visiting with Paul, an old classmate of his, who was in the Navy but home for Christmas break. My brother happened to mention that his little sister (that’s me) recently went on a trip to Medjugorje.  This greatly intrigued Paul, who had recently become very interested in Marian apparitions, so he decided to give me a call.  We arranged to meet at Mass and then go out for bagels to chat about my pilgrimage.   That was the first of many chat sessions…   We dated long-distance for the next 3 years and married in the month dedicated to Mary, May 26, 2000.)

So, ever since our courtship, we dreamed of going to Medjugorje together to thank Our Blessed Mother for bringing us together and to ask for her continued blessings upon our marriage. That's one big reason we decided to go there, but there's more...

I wish the rest of our love story was so simple and sweet, but if I was honest, I would have to say that yes, our marriage has been strewn with sweet roses, but those roses have been covered with painful thorns.  If the two of us did not have our strong Catholic faith, a deep commitment to the marital covenant, and a belief that God and His Blessed Mother had brought us together, there is no way we would still be wearing our wedding rings.  I suppose every marriage has thorns—it’s bound to happen when two sinners choose to live together for life—but my uber-romantic heart never imagined the pain and scars those thorns would cause.  Had I known about the thorns ahead of time, I might have chosen the convent (but I'm sure that would have had thorns of a different kind!).

The past year of our marriage has been particularly hard.  A thorn that I did not expect pierced my heart and I was not sure if our marriage could recover.  I knew we needed Our Lady’s help to find peace and  healing.  Quite frankly, I wanted to quit...to pack my bags and my kids and run away to my mom's house in South Dakota.  But since I knew deep down that God would not approve of that choice, I chose to run into the arms of my "other" Mother in Medjugorje instead.  So, with our thorn-pierced hearts, my husband and I boarded a plane bound for Bosnia.

48 hours later we arrived in Medjugorje—jet-lagged, but filled with expectant hope.  The grace and peace that surrounded us was so tangible that I felt like I could cup it with my hands, put it in a bottle, and bring it back home with me.  A priest once said that "in Medjugorje, it seems as if the veil between heaven and earth is somehow thinner there." The picture below seems to capture that mystery.  I took that photo right before Mary was about to appear, and it was as if the heavens were literally opening up to allow for Our Lady to descend to earth for the apparition.  The thin veil separating heaven and earth truly appeared to part for a few miraculous moments.  I really think that priest was onto something, and perhaps the "thinner veil" is why the graces feel so tangible there.  Perhaps that is also why more graces seem to be able to penetrate the hearts of pilgrims who go there and hear Our Lady's messages, leading so many souls back to God. With Mary appearing every single day since 1981, how could there not be extra graces there?  What a gift from God that has been given to us for so long!  Paul and I felt so blessed to be immersed in those miraculous graces.

So, that is why Paul and I chose Medjugorje----for the graces our marriage needed so desperately.  Did we find the graces and healing there?  Yes.  But, not quite in the way I had expected.  Neither one of us miraculously changed, we didn't see Mary appear to us or any spinning suns, my rosary did not turn gold, and my broken heart was not perfectly healed...but we received the grace of mercy.  Mary softened my heart to forgive my husband; she also showed me the big plank of pride stuck in my eye and that I needed forgiveness too (just as much or more than he!), and thankfully Paul and the Lord were gladly willing to forgive me once I humbled myself enough to ask.    

Mercy has been one of the greatest miracles for pilgrims who come to Medjugorje ever been since the apparitions began.  St. John Paul II called Medjugorje "the confession box of the world," which is an apt description if you ask anyone who has been there.  All day long hundreds of thousands of people from countless countries go to confession in Medjugorje.  Priests spend hours upon hours in the confession boxes---they even sit on chairs all around the church to hear the pilgrims' confessions because there simply aren't enough confession boxes for all the people who want to confess their sins and reconcile their souls with God!  It is a beautiful sight!  And for many Catholics, myself included, confession in Medjugorje is a grace-filled, healing experience, sometimes even the spiritual pinnacle of their pilgrimage.

At least 3 times in the 10 days we were there, I went to the Sacrament of Confession, and each time a miraculous healing took place.  One time in particular, while hiking up Cross Mountain and reciting the Stations of the Cross, a battle of spiritual warfare was taking place inside of me...  My soul became filled with such bitterness, disappointment, even hatred for my husband that it sickened me, scared me, and seriously made me question my salvation. I think Satan was working overtime on my marriage in Medjugorje.  He was ticked off that my husband and I had come to this holy place to seek extra graces from Our Lady to save our marriage.  And so the father of lies began to whisper his crafty lies on that hike up Cross Mountain, and "gullible Maria" was falling for them again.  Thankfully, I could sense the spiritual danger and knew how weak I was at fighting this battle on my own.  So immediately after the hike was over, I asked Fr. Edmond, the holy and humble priest in our tour group, if he would hear my confession.  Praise God he said yes!  We sat right on the front porch steps of the visionary Jakov's house, and I wept and confessed my sins.  Christ's mercy rushed in and the battle quickly changed course.  Satan fled (probably with his tail between his legs) and I was filled with peace.  I loved my husband again---complete, unconditional love like Christ had for me.  I was forgiven and made new, which gave me the grace to forgive and have hope again. Another Medjugorje miracle had taken place!  Praise the Lord for His unending mercy from the cross!

Paul and I with Fr. Edmond

So many graces and miracles took place in our marriage during that 2 week pilgrimage.  We had some really tough days, like the one I mentioned above, when Satan was working hard to prevent Paul and I from embracing the healing graces that Mary was sending us.  But most days were simply filled with peace, love, and joy.  What a joy it was to receive Jesus in the Eucharist daily surrounded by on-fire Catholics, to hike with my husband in the sunshine as we talked and prayed about our future, to be present for the daily apparition and place our intentions and those of our family and friends directly into Our Lady's hands, to eat meals with him without having to cut up anyone else's food into tiny bites, and to simply be together basking in the graces that surrounded us... That's why we chose Medjugorje.  

Will our  marriage still have thorns?  Yes it will (in fact, I can feel a sharp prick of one right now as I type this).  But the graces we received in Medjugorje taught us to focus on the beauty of the blossoms instead, and that if we offer up the thorns to Jesus, His love and mercy can transform them into something good and sweet.  

  

Love and mercy...sweet indeed!