Apparition Hill (and some spiritual warfare stories fitting for Halloween)

Apparition Hill is the most visited spot in Medjugorje for the obvious reason that the Blessed Mother first appeared on that hill in 1981 and continues to appear there still in 2015!  It was a bit surreal to hike that hill with my husband, knowing that millions of other pilgrims have climbed it before us and that the Virgin Mary herself has hovered right over the rocks we were treading upon.

 As pilgrims climb Apparition Hill, many of them pray the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary, which are beautifully displayed on bronze plaques going up the mountain.  One could spend hours just mediating upon the scenes on each plaque because they capture the life of Jesus so beautifully.

About half way up the mountain, pilgrims find a simple, wooden cross, which marks the spot that the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared the first time, giving the visionary children the first simple, yet profound, message:  "Peace, Peace, Peace, and only peace."  Standing at that spot which overlooks the peaceful village of Medjugorje certainly fills the soul with peace.  How I long to be standing there right now!

It was interesting to watch the different ways that pilgrims walk up Apparition Hill...some of them singing joyfully from the heart, some of them praying silently, and some (typically the Italians) praying so loudly it could be mistaken for rudeness.  It truly is a spiritual journey to tread upon those jacked rocks--surprisingly still sharp and precarious even after more than 30 years of erosion from pilgrims' feet.  One touching scene is to see the handful of pilgrims who choose to take their shoes of and hike the hill barefoot as a means of penance and to symbolize the fact that they are walking on holy ground.

Paul and I were blessed to be staying at homes very near Apparition Hill, which allowed us to hike the hill numerous times throughout our pilgrimage.  Every time I hiked the hill and made it to the beautiful Mary statue at the top, I would place my personal intentions and all the intentions of my family and friends into Our Blessed Mother's hands, who seemed to be waiting for them with a loving smile, as if she was about to say, "Of course I will take these prayers to my Son for you.  Thank you for entrusting them to me."

The top of Apparition Hill is where the apparitions of Mary took place during the first few weeks of Mary's visits in Medjugorje.  However, once the Communist government at the time found out about this mysterious phenomenon that was attracting thousands of Catholics to this obscure little village, they quickly tried to put a stop to it.  For weeks they barricaded the bottom of Apparition Hill so that no one could go up--not even the visionaries.  Therefore, the visionaries started having their apparitions of the Blessed Mother wherever they happened to be at 6:40pm.  Oftentimes, it was at St. James Church, sometimes in a field as they were running away from the Communist soldiers, and sometimes in their homes.  It was a special grace that Mary was willing to appear to them anywhere, unlike at Fatima and Lourdes in which Mary always appeared at one location.

One miracle of the early days of Medjugorje happened when the visionary children were running away from the Communist soldiers.  The parish priest at the time was Fr. Jozo, and he did not fully believe that Mary was appearing to the children.  He thought they were all making up a fantastic story to get attention.  So as he was praying in the church of St. James, begging for God to show him a sign to guide him as to whether or not he should support the children's crazy claims or denounce the whole affair, he heard a voice in his heart that said, "Go now and protect the children."  It seemed like an urgent command, and so he got up and started walking to the door of the church.  Just as he was about to open the main door of the church, the scared and frantic children came charging through a side door, seeking protection from the Communist authorities who were threatening to imprison them.  Fr. Jozo had received his sign and started believing that the Blessed Mother truly was appearing.  He suffered greatly for his belief.  He was imprisoned by the Communists for nearly 4 years and was not allowed to return as the pastor to Medjugorje.  But he tirelessly spent the following years spreading the messages of Medjugorje in the parish where he was at.

Fr. Jozo with the visionary children

Many pilgrims who came to Medjugorje would take a day-trip to Fr. Jozo's parish just to hear him speak because his testimony was so filled with the Holy Spirit.  I was blessed to hear Fr. Jozo speak the first time I went to Medjugorje in 1996.  It was his tradition to hand out holy cards with a beautiful picture of Mary on it.  On the back of the holy card was one of Mary's messages which was a powerful reminder of how to take the message of Medjugorje home with you...  He would explain Mary's message to the pilgrims by telling them to gather 5 stones from Apparition Hill as a reminder of the 5 stones that David used in the Bible to defeat Goliath.  Fr. Jozo said that these 5 stones symbolize 5 spiritual weapons that the Blessed Virgin Mary herself said will help you to defeat any "Goliaths" in your life:

1) The Rosary and prayer from the heart
2) The Eucharist
3) The Holy Bible
4) Fasting
5) Monthly Confession

Our holy and humble tour guide reminded us of Fr. Jozo's advice to pick 5 stones from Medjugorje, and so Paul and I had fun collecting stones of various sizes on our hikes up and down Apparition Hill.  Paul keeps 5 stones at work; I keep 5 stones in my car; and we also have stones on our kitchen window sill.  They are beautiful reminders of how to fight our various "Goliaths" throughout the day.

Fr. Jozo speaking to a group of pilgrims

Our tour guide also told us a story of spiritual warfare involving a stone from Medjugorje.  Apparently there was a priest who was a trained exorcist, and he decided to take a rock from Apparition Hill into the room where an exorcism was going to take place.  He put the rock in a box and then placed the box in a far corner of the room just to see what would happen.  As soon as the exorcism rite began, the possessed person starting violently yelling, "Take it out of here, take it out of here!"  The priest asked the possessed person what he wanted to be taken out of the room.  The demon, clearly in agony, yelled, "The box, the box!"  Again, the priest questioned further and asked why the box should be removed, and the demon finally said, "Because of the holy rock and her presence...I hate her!"  What a powerful confirmation that Satan and his demons do not like the Virgin Mary, and even the presence of her graces upon a rock from Apparition Hill can drive evil spirits away!  Satan can't stay long in the presence of what is holy, so I feel better knowing that I have some holy rocks, holy water, and other blessed items all over our house!  :}

The last story that I will share about apparition hill involves more spiritual warfare...  At first I was not going to share this story, because I didn't want to frighten anyone.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that this story truly is not frightening, but rather quite the opposite!  So, here it is...  Paul and I were blessed with the opportunity to be present for an evening apparition when Our Lady appeared to the visionary named Ivan.  This was not the daily 6:40pm apparition, but rather an extra apparition later in the evening which Mary told Ivan about in advance during his 6:40pm apparition.  She told him that she would appear to him again that evening at the top of Apparition Hill as a special grace for Ivan's youth group that he leads.  Paul and I went up the hill many hours early to find a spot to sit because we knew it would be crowded with thousands of people once the apparition time got near.  We waited for hours, but it did not seem long at all.  It was so beautiful to pray quietly and to watch the spectacular sun set as pilgrims slowly began to find a seat on every rugged rock at the top of Apparition Hill.

Paul reading and praying as we waited for the evening apparition.

The crucifix at the top of Apparition Hill near where we sat for the apparition.

A view of the beautiful sunset and all of the pilgrims waiting for Mary to appear.

The gorgeous sunset right before Mary appeared on Apparition Hill.

I never got to see "the miracle of the sun" like so many others in Medjugorje,
but this was close enough for me!

Ivan's youth group sang praise and worship songs for awhile, and then Ivan led the crowd in praying the rosary.  By this time, it was completely dark on Apparition Hill--probably around 9:00pm.  Paul and I were sitting very near the Mary statue because we had come to the hill so early to wait.  We chose a spot that was to the left of the Mary statue and higher up so that we would be able to see Ivan well and so that we wouldn't get squished in the big crowd.  There were some bushes right behind us, and just moments before the Blessed Virgin Mother was about to appear to Ivan, we heard the most horrible growl come from the bushes right behind us.  The growl was unlike any sound I had ever heard before--unlike any animal and unlike any sound that a person could possibly make.  I immediately knew it was a demon making that sound.  I was terrified.  I looked at my husband, and we did the only thing we could think of doing...we prayed.  All the people around us started praying too.  And then suddenly the growling sound seemed to jump to the center of the crowd and a young girl started thrashing on the ground and the horrible sounds were now coming from her!  Thankfully, there was an abundance of holy priests and holy pilgrims on the hill, and they all started praying for deliverance and protection from evil spirits.  Suddenly, Mary appeared to Ivan.  He stopped praying the rosary; his head looked up; peace was covering his face, and peace immediately covered the crowd.  The demonic growling stopped.  When Mary came, it was as if all evil was forced to flee.  The whole event dramatically proved to me that spiritual warfare is real...  The fact that the demon showed up moments before Mary appeared was a sign that demons visibly get agitated when they know something holy is about to happen and they try desperately to stop it.  The fact that the demon fled as soon as Mary appeared was a sign that evil spirits have no power in the presence of the holy.  Therefore, we truly have nothing to fear if we stay close to what is holy...namely, Jesus Christ, the Sacraments, and His Blessed Mother!  I cannot express how grateful I was to be in Mary's presence that night on Apparition Hill!  I now can say with so much more certainty that I believe Mary is appearing in Medjugorje, and that she is a powerful and safe refuge against sin and Satan.

Perhaps all this spiritual warfare talk is fitting as we approach Halloween, for it reminds us that Satan is real, but evil is easily defeated by the power of Jesus, His Cross, and His Blessed Mother!

To learn more about Medjugorje, click here:  http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/09/medjugorje-101_24.html

To read more about our personal experience in Medjugorje, click here:
http://atotustuusfamily.blogspot.com/2015/10/medjugorje-why-there.html

some comic relief

I realized the other day that most of my posts lately have been either heavy, depressing, or religious in nature...  Does that make me a melancholic Catholic?  :}  Anyway, I thought all of your readers out there (all 2 or 3 of you!) would appreciate some light humor that happened in our house a few days ago.

My two year old is going through a bit of a bossy-bullying phase (which I am not at all proud of and take partial blame for because I know I should be more strict with disciplining him), but the other day he said something that made me laugh out loud (even though I probably should have spanked him instead).   Isaiah asked me if he could watch a video, and I told him "no."  He immediately started whining, and then asked me again.  I said "no."  Then he started throwing a bit of a temper tantrum and asked me again.  I said "no" and started walking away to ignore him.  Then in his sternest little two-year-old voice, he said, "One......Twwoooo.......THREE!"  I couldn't believe it!  He thought he could use one of my tricks to make me obey!  Apparently, I should stop using that trick...  It doesn't work to make my kids obey anyway, and it sure didn't work to make Mommy obey either.  Sorry, Isaiah!  :)

You, at least...and me!

"His Sacred Heart will do everything for me if I let him.  
He shall will, he shall love, he shall desire for me 
and make up for all my faults."  

~St. Margaret Mary~

This week was the Feast of St. Margaret Mary, a hidden and humble nun from France, who God chose to reveal the tender and powerful devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  Jesus appeared to St. Margaret Mary in the 17th century when the Jansenist heresy was widespread, especially throughout France.  It was a heresy that focused on predestination and perfectionism to a fault--that we needed to be perfect in order to earn God's approval and salvation.  It was a heresy that poisoned much of the Catholic theology of that time-period.  This heresy made people feel so ashamed that they constantly felt that they were disappointing God, often to the point were they would not even receive Holy Communion out of a feeling of unworthiness.  It made people look at God as a harsh judge who was ready to punish them at the slightest mistake.  Of all the heresies over the centuries, this one perhaps wounded Jesus' heart the most because it turned people away from His love and mercy--the very love and mercy He died on the cross to lavish upon us!  Here is a great excerpt from the book "Consoling the Heart of Jesus" by Fr. Michael Gaitley, that captures the story of St. Margaret Mary so well:

"From his sorrow at being so misunderstood and abandoned, Jesus looked for someone who would take pity on his aching Heart.  From the tabernacle, he cast his gaze out on all of France, searching for a true friend on whom he could unburden some of his heartache and through whom he might finally convince people to believe in his tender love and mercy.  Eventually, he found such a friend:  a little nun named Sr. Margaret Mary.  To this blessed soul, Jesus released an ocean of anguish as he disclosed his Divine Heart.   Appearing on the Cross, he said to her in a voice full of sadness and grief:

Behold this Heart, this heart so deeply in love with men, it spared no means of proof--exhausting itself until it was utterly spent in order to testify to its love!  In return, I have received from the greater part only ingratitude...  This hurts me more than everything I suffered in my passion.  Even a little love from them in return and I should regard all that I have done for them as next to nothing, and look for a way of doing still more.  But no; all my eager efforts for their welfare meet with nothing but coldness and dislike.  Do me the kindness, then--you, at least--of making up for all their ingratitude, as far as you can."  (emphasis mine)

Wow, how beautiful that Jesus asked St. Margaret Mary to console His sorrowing heart... And He asks this of you and me, as well!  Yes, we (sinners though we are) can somehow make up for the ingratitude that Jesus receives from most of the world by simply loving Him and being grateful to Him for His love and mercy!  You, at least, and me can be the ones that quench His thirst for love and remove some of the bitter sorrow from His heart!  We can do this in so many little ways:

1. Go visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament so that He will not be alone, and just tell Him that you love Him and enjoy spending time with Him
2. Make small sacrifices throughout the day to tell Jesus thank you for the sacrifice He made for you (give up an extra cup of coffee, hold your tongue and smile when someone irritates you, clean a toilet or two joyfully :)...etc)
3. Make an effort to receive the Eucharist more than once a week to show your love for Him and your gratitude for the gift of receiving His Heart (literally) in the Eucharist
4. At 3:00pm (the hour Jesus died on the cross), stop for a moment to thank Jesus for His sacrifice, to express your love, and, if you have time, say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy
5. Buy a picture of the Sacred Heart and each time you gaze at it, hear Him saying to you:  "Behold this Heart that loved so much, yet is so little loved."  And then reassure Him that He is loved by you...you, at least...and me!  

...the possibilities are endless!

St. Margaret Mary, pray for us, pray that we are given the grace to console Jesus' Heart with our love, as far as we can!

shades of gray

This past weekend was the 8th "birthday" of our baby Sebastian into heaven.  Briefly I held him in my hands, then reluctantly handed him over to the hands of God for eternity.  The memories return if I let them...holding him in the bathroom, baptizing him in the sink, bleeding, more bleeding, then hurrying to the hospital for a D and C, worrying that I would die during the surgery, standing at the cemetery for the funeral, and wondering if everything would always be a shade of gray.  This weekend as our family went to the cemetery to remember our little saint Sebastian, my heart was a very dark shade of gray.  Not because of losing Sebastian, because I knew he was happy with Jesus, but because my husband and I had been fighting earlier that morning, and despair was creeping in to a very old wound in my heart.  However, as I cried at the cemetery, I was able to cry out to my little saints--Sebastian, Christian, and Frances--and beg them to intercede for their mommy, their daddy, and their siblings still on earth.  Perhaps that is why God gave me the gift of three babies in heaven...because He knew I needed some special saints interceding for our family---to remind us that it will not always be gray, for someday we will be surrounded by the joyous light of God's love.  That truth encourages me to not lose hope and to keep my eyes fixed on heaven where there will be no more tears and no more shades of gray.

And for those of you who may have suffered the pain of an empty womb through miscarriage, here's a poem I wrote many years ago that may encourage you:

Womb Now Empty

Womb now empty
Eyes brimming full
Questions without answers
Why given then taken, tiny soul?

Emotions so myriad,
Heart too numb to share
Flee to an inner cloister
A few friends welcome there

Cradle to be barren
Tiny saint in heaven instead
Comforting is the thought
Still many tears are shed

Womb now empty
But heart stretching full
Soon in Heaven reunited
Mother and child, same goal

Medjugorje: why there?

It is hard for me to know where to begin in sharing about my personal Medjugorje pilgrimage…  So I guess I will just start at the beginning and explain why my husband and I chose to go to Medjugorje at all.  After all, we could have spent a lot less money and went somewhere more tropical and fun like Hawaii, so why did we choose a poor village in the middle of Bosnia to spend our summer vacation?

Well, like I had explained in an earlier post, Paul and I truly believe that Our Lady of Medjugorje is largely responsible for the two of us getting married.  (Here's a quick recap for those who don't know the backstory: My senior year in high school I made my first pilgrimage to Medjugorje, and the biggest prayer intention on my heart was guidance in my vocation.  I was feeling equally drawn to the religious life and to married life, so I asked Our Lady at the top of Mount Krizevek (Cross Mountain) to send me my future husband my first year of college; otherwise, I would pursue religious life and not waste my money finishing college.  And she answered my prayer in a way that only could have been her careful arrangement.  While I was home from college on Christmas break, my brother Steve was visiting with Paul, an old classmate of his, who was in the Navy but home for Christmas break. My brother happened to mention that his little sister (that’s me) recently went on a trip to Medjugorje.  This greatly intrigued Paul, who had recently become very interested in Marian apparitions, so he decided to give me a call.  We arranged to meet at Mass and then go out for bagels to chat about my pilgrimage.   That was the first of many chat sessions…   We dated long-distance for the next 3 years and married in the month dedicated to Mary, May 26, 2000.)

So, ever since our courtship, we dreamed of going to Medjugorje together to thank Our Blessed Mother for bringing us together and to ask for her continued blessings upon our marriage. That's one big reason we decided to go there, but there's more...

I wish the rest of our love story was so simple and sweet, but if I was honest, I would have to say that yes, our marriage has been strewn with sweet roses, but those roses have been covered with painful thorns.  If the two of us did not have our strong Catholic faith, a deep commitment to the marital covenant, and a belief that God and His Blessed Mother had brought us together, there is no way we would still be wearing our wedding rings.  I suppose every marriage has thorns—it’s bound to happen when two sinners choose to live together for life—but my uber-romantic heart never imagined the pain and scars those thorns would cause.  Had I known about the thorns ahead of time, I might have chosen the convent (but I'm sure that would have had thorns of a different kind!).

The past year of our marriage has been particularly hard.  A thorn that I did not expect pierced my heart and I was not sure if our marriage could recover.  I knew we needed Our Lady’s help to find peace and  healing.  Quite frankly, I wanted to quit...to pack my bags and my kids and run away to my mom's house in South Dakota.  But since I knew deep down that God would not approve of that choice, I chose to run into the arms of my "other" Mother in Medjugorje instead.  So, with our thorn-pierced hearts, my husband and I boarded a plane bound for Bosnia.

48 hours later we arrived in Medjugorje—jet-lagged, but filled with expectant hope.  The grace and peace that surrounded us was so tangible that I felt like I could cup it with my hands, put it in a bottle, and bring it back home with me.  A priest once said that "in Medjugorje, it seems as if the veil between heaven and earth is somehow thinner there." The picture below seems to capture that mystery.  I took that photo right before Mary was about to appear, and it was as if the heavens were literally opening up to allow for Our Lady to descend to earth for the apparition.  The thin veil separating heaven and earth truly appeared to part for a few miraculous moments.  I really think that priest was onto something, and perhaps the "thinner veil" is why the graces feel so tangible there.  Perhaps that is also why more graces seem to be able to penetrate the hearts of pilgrims who go there and hear Our Lady's messages, leading so many souls back to God. With Mary appearing every single day since 1981, how could there not be extra graces there?  What a gift from God that has been given to us for so long!  Paul and I felt so blessed to be immersed in those miraculous graces.

So, that is why Paul and I chose Medjugorje----for the graces our marriage needed so desperately.  Did we find the graces and healing there?  Yes.  But, not quite in the way I had expected.  Neither one of us miraculously changed, we didn't see Mary appear to us or any spinning suns, my rosary did not turn gold, and my broken heart was not perfectly healed...but we received the grace of mercy.  Mary softened my heart to forgive my husband; she also showed me the big plank of pride stuck in my eye and that I needed forgiveness too (just as much or more than he!), and thankfully Paul and the Lord were gladly willing to forgive me once I humbled myself enough to ask.    

Mercy has been one of the greatest miracles for pilgrims who come to Medjugorje ever been since the apparitions began.  St. John Paul II called Medjugorje "the confession box of the world," which is an apt description if you ask anyone who has been there.  All day long hundreds of thousands of people from countless countries go to confession in Medjugorje.  Priests spend hours upon hours in the confession boxes---they even sit on chairs all around the church to hear the pilgrims' confessions because there simply aren't enough confession boxes for all the people who want to confess their sins and reconcile their souls with God!  It is a beautiful sight!  And for many Catholics, myself included, confession in Medjugorje is a grace-filled, healing experience, sometimes even the spiritual pinnacle of their pilgrimage.

At least 3 times in the 10 days we were there, I went to the Sacrament of Confession, and each time a miraculous healing took place.  One time in particular, while hiking up Cross Mountain and reciting the Stations of the Cross, a battle of spiritual warfare was taking place inside of me...  My soul became filled with such bitterness, disappointment, even hatred for my husband that it sickened me, scared me, and seriously made me question my salvation. I think Satan was working overtime on my marriage in Medjugorje.  He was ticked off that my husband and I had come to this holy place to seek extra graces from Our Lady to save our marriage.  And so the father of lies began to whisper his crafty lies on that hike up Cross Mountain, and "gullible Maria" was falling for them again.  Thankfully, I could sense the spiritual danger and knew how weak I was at fighting this battle on my own.  So immediately after the hike was over, I asked Fr. Edmond, the holy and humble priest in our tour group, if he would hear my confession.  Praise God he said yes!  We sat right on the front porch steps of the visionary Jakov's house, and I wept and confessed my sins.  Christ's mercy rushed in and the battle quickly changed course.  Satan fled (probably with his tail between his legs) and I was filled with peace.  I loved my husband again---complete, unconditional love like Christ had for me.  I was forgiven and made new, which gave me the grace to forgive and have hope again. Another Medjugorje miracle had taken place!  Praise the Lord for His unending mercy from the cross!

Paul and I with Fr. Edmond

So many graces and miracles took place in our marriage during that 2 week pilgrimage.  We had some really tough days, like the one I mentioned above, when Satan was working hard to prevent Paul and I from embracing the healing graces that Mary was sending us.  But most days were simply filled with peace, love, and joy.  What a joy it was to receive Jesus in the Eucharist daily surrounded by on-fire Catholics, to hike with my husband in the sunshine as we talked and prayed about our future, to be present for the daily apparition and place our intentions and those of our family and friends directly into Our Lady's hands, to eat meals with him without having to cut up anyone else's food into tiny bites, and to simply be together basking in the graces that surrounded us... That's why we chose Medjugorje.  

Will our  marriage still have thorns?  Yes it will (in fact, I can feel a sharp prick of one right now as I type this).  But the graces we received in Medjugorje taught us to focus on the beauty of the blossoms instead, and that if we offer up the thorns to Jesus, His love and mercy can transform them into something good and sweet.  

  

Love and mercy...sweet indeed!

St. Faustina (and some promises you may not know about)

This week the Catholic Church celebrated the feast day of one of my favorite saints:  Saint Maria Faustina.  Oh, how I wish I could express just how grateful I am that Jesus appeared to St. Faustina and asked her share the message of His infinite mercy with the world--and with me in particular!  It would be a very lengthy and heavy blog post if I tried to explain to you why I am so indebted to the Divine Mercy devotion, but I will briefly share that I believe the Divine Mercy Chaplet rescued my marriage and saved my soul from complete despair less than a year ago.  That is why I am so passionate about spreading this devotion every chance I get!

The Divine Mercy Chaplet is so powerful--just trust me, it is!  Actually, don't trust me, trust Jesus, because He Himself gave us this powerful prayer in 1931!   And did you know that Jesus promised very special graces to those who even look upon the image of His Divine Mercy with devotion!?  Here are some of those promises straight from Our Savior's mouth that he spoke to St. Faustina:

Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the signature: Jesus I trust in You.  I desire that this image be venerated, first in your chapel, and then throughout the world. The two rays denote Blood and Water.  The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls. These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. (Diary of St. Faustina #47 and #299)

I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish. I also promise victory over its enemies already here on earth, especially at the hour of death. I myself will defend it as My own glory. (Diary of St. Faustina #48)

I am offering people a vessel with which they are to keep coming for graces to the fountain of mercy. That vessel is this image with the signature:  “Jesus, I trust in You." (Diary of St. Faustina #327)

By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls…(Diary of St. Faustina #742)

This painting is the "Original" painting done by the artist Eugene Kazimirowski in 1934.

It is said that when Faustina first saw the painting, she cried because it did not look nearly as beautiful as her beloved Savior looked when He appeared to her.

But who could ever capture the glory of God on canvas?

Aren't those promises AWESOME!?  ...Spared from hell, protected from God's just wrath, extra graces...  Truly, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't get any better than that!  Our family has had a Divine Mercy picture in our house for years, but I had no idea of the special graces and promises associated with it until recently.  Once I heard about the graces, I went to our local Catholic book store and bought a whole bunch of them to give as gifts to some very special people in my life.  Perhaps God was pleased with my enthusiasm, because the other night at a local fundraising banquet, there was a Divine Mercy canvas painting on the silent auction table, and of course I had to bid on it...  And the Lord in His infinite mercy and kindness let me win it...for only $25!  I was so thrilled!!!  Some people left the banquet with handmade quilts or gift certificates, and I left with Jesus in my arms! You can't beat that! :)  I was especially thrilled with the canvas print because it was the "original" Divine Mercy image, which is the one that we did not have in our home yet (there are a few different versions of the painting out there...you can read more about them HERE if you wish).  Our new painting is now in a very special place in our bedroom, so that my husband and I can look at it often and be reminded of the gift of Divine Mercy in our marriage. God is so very, very good!

I wish I was able to tell everyone in the whole world about Jesus' infinite mercy and how He is just longing for souls to come to Him with trust and confidence in His mercy!   No sin is greater than His love and mercy!  And when we ask Him to wash away our sins in the ocean of His mercy, not only does He completely forgive our sins, but He also gives us the grace to completely forgive others!  Yes, even those who have sinned against us and completely broken our hearts...we can forgive them because Jesus has forgiven us when we have sinned and broken His heart.  God's mercy on us begets our mercy on others.  What a priceless gift.  What a saving grace.  I am eternally grateful.  Please help me to spread Faustina's message of Jesus' infinite love and mercy with our world so desperately in need of that message!  Perhaps you would consider buying some Divine Mercy holy cards or pictures and giving them away as gifts...  Or buy one for your own home if you don't have one yet...remember the special promises given to those who have a Divine Mercy image in their homes?  But above all, pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as often as you can---your soul and the souls of countless others will benefit beyond belief!  (And make sure you add the optional beginning and ending prayers...I think they are the best part of the chaplet!).  :)

Saint Faustina, pray for us!

JESUS, WE TRUST IN YOU!!!

For those who aren't familiar with the Chaplet, here's how you pray it:


Optional Opening Prayer:
You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls,
and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world.
O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy,
envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us.

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You! (x3)

Our Father, Hail Mary and the Apostle's Creed

On each “Our Father” bead of the rosary, pray:
Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

On each of the 10 “Hail Mary” beads, pray:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Concluding prayer:
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world. (x3)

Optional Closing Prayer:
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion--inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.

Learning Littleness from the Little Flower

Happy Feast of St. Therese, the Little Flower!
(a day late) :}

"God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint. It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults. But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new. . . .  It is your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven!  And so there is no need for me to grow up. In fact, just the opposite: I must stay little and become less and less."   

St. Therese, the Little Flower

St. Therese is so humble that I'm sure she would not wish to be honored on a feast day, but she would want God to be honored and for others to find a way to grow closer to the God she loved so very much---and that is what her feast day is all about.  Her feast day points people to her "Little Way"--a way that everyone can use to become a saint!  I am so grateful that she taught us this way to holiness, because lately I feel so small, so little, so sinful, so insecure, and so incapable of succeeding at all the things I wished I would be great at:  marriage, motherhood, holiness, leading others to holiness...  But, Therese's words remind me that God loves my littleness; His mercy covers my sins; He will carry me to heaven because He knows I am too weak to get there myself.   What a relief!  :)  Thank you, God.  St. Therese, pray for us to walk confidently in your Little Way!

It also seems fitting to share some St. Therese "miracles" that happened to me in Medjugorje.  Like many other Catholics, I have a tender devotion to Therese and often ask for her intercession when I have an important prayer request.  So, when Paul and I went to Medjugorje, I wanted to pray a novena to St. Therese and ask her to pray for us on our pilgrimage.  Specifically, I asked for her to pray that our pilgrimage would help Paul and I receive the graces we needed to grow in holiness and to find healing and joy in our marriage.  

The day Paul and I arrived in Medjugorje, we found out that we would be staying at a little hotel called "The Two Hearts" (referring to the two Hearts of Jesus and Mary).  I was slightly disappointed, because we had been told there was a chance that we would be staying at the visionary Marjana's house, but I tried to offer up my disappointment and embrace what God had given me :}  We were handed our room key, but when we unlocked the door to our room, we saw that someone else already had their luggage in that room, so we headed back to get a different room key.  When we walked into the second room that was given to us, a huge smile spread across my face, because the only thing in the room, aside from 2 single beds and a crucifix, was a picture of St. Therese.  I was sure this was a little gift from God, and that He was assuring me at the start of our pilgrimage that Therese would be with us, interceding for us during our stay in Medjugorje.  It was my first little Medjugorje miracle!  :)

The second little St. Therese miracle occurred 6 days into our pilgrimage.  We were told that we would have to leave the Two Hearts Hotel to make room for a larger pilgrimage group that was arriving. The up-side, however, was that we were given the honor of moving to the visionary Jakov's house to stay for the remainder of our pilgrimage!!!  I was thrilled!  But there was a part of my heart that was sad to leave our old room because I really liked the consolation of St. Therese's picture and the reminder that she was praying for us.  But again, I tried to offer up my disappointment and embrace what God had given me.  So we headed to Jakov's house and were given our new room key.  We walk in the door, and again, a smile spread across my face.  This time, there was no picture of St. Therese on the wall, but I clearly felt her presence when I saw what was in the room:  2 single beds, a crucifix, and a rose-covered chair with Carmelite brown curtains behind it :)  God is so good to me!  :)

Aside from our two hotel rooms, I felt the Little Flower's presence everywhere I went in Medjugorje.  Paul and I prayed our Therese novena every day, and the words to the novena guided our hearts towards her "Little Way," teaching us to offer up our littleness, our weaknesses, our sins, our sufferings, our disappointments to God with joy (that's the hard part), trusting with Therese-like confidence that He will transform those offerings into something fruitful.  I constantly felt St. Therese whispering in my heart:  "Maria, it is OK to be little and not accomplish the great things you had hoped to do for God...your little acts of love and small sacrifices are just as pleasing to God as great big deeds for His glory."  "It is OK to be a big failure because God's mercy is bigger than your mistakes (oh and by the way, God's mercy is big enough to cover your husband's mistakes too!) :}" And throughout the entire pilgrimage, Therese kept guiding my eyes to find the littlest flowers on the paths that we tread, beautiful, hidden weeds that no one else would notice, to remind me to embrace my littleness.  One tiny flowering weed offered to God with a heart full of love is worth more than an offering of grand, gorgeous roses.   All around me I saw pilgrims placing huge expensive bouquets of flowers at the feet of the statues of Mary, but all I had to offer Our Lady was a small handful of tiny, beautiful weeds.  And Therese whispered to me, "It is a beautiful offering--YOU are a beautiful offering, because you are filled love."  God gave me so many opportunities to offer up little flowers of love and sacrifice to Him on our pilgrimage.  Some of the opportunities I embraced, others I did not, but I was at least learning to see them as opportunities.  Even the failed opportunities I could offer to God!  The Little Flower was gently teaching me her Little Way every day that I was there. 

And then my third St. Therese miracle happened when I got home from Medjugorje.  At the end of a St. Therese novena, it is not uncommon for Therese to send a rose from heaven to reassure you that she heard your prayers and interceded for you.  In fact, right before she died, she told her fellow nuns that "she would spend her heaven doing good upon the earth and let fall a shower of roses."  So, on the last day our novena, I went to the adoration chapel in my parents' town to pray for an hour.  I walked into the chapel and immediately saw a statue of St. Therese, and on the floor beneath her, someone had placed a beautiful red rose in a simple glass bowl.  I felt it was my rose sent from heaven.  Therese had heard my prayers, and God had certainly granted the graces that Paul and I needed during our pilgrimage to help us grow in holiness and find healing and joy in my marriage again.  God is so good.  St. Therese is so faithful.  I am so grateful!

My family and I wish you a happy Feast of St. Therese!

May we all learn to walk the way of "littleness"!!!