the lowest place

To be blatantly honest, I have been struggling this week, crying myself to sleep more than once.  And I think I've figured out the problem:  a combination of a lack of humility and a desire to be fulfilled by something other than God.  So as I've been pondering my lack of humility, I was reminded of a book I read many years ago, a book so simple, yet truly profound in its insights into the spiritual life. The book is called "Hinds Feet on High Places," by Hannah Hurnard. It is certainly on my top 5 books that I've ever read, and I highly recommend it, especially if you are going through "a desert" or "valley" and you're longing to reach the "high places" of joy and peace that the Lord wants you to have. The book is about a young girl named Much-Afraid who is crippled, but longs to be healed and to be able to scale the high mountains. The Shepherd takes her on a difficult journey to teach her to overcome her fears. Anyway, even though it's been 10 years or more since I've read the book, God brought to my memory a scene from the book that I believe He wanted me to meditate on to help me learn what humility looks like--that it is actually a joyful, beautiful thing. Allow me to share a portion of the book with you... Perhaps God will whisper something to your heart through these words too:

...they came to a place where a rushing stream poured itself across the path they were following and went cascading down the other side. It was running so swiftly and singing so loudly that it seemed to fill the valley around them with its laughing voice.

As the Shepherd lifted Much-Afraid across the slippery, wet stones she said to him, "I do wish I knew what it is that all the running water sings... It sounds so happy and so eager, as though it were repeating to itself over and over again some very lovely, secret message... Tell me, Shepherd, do you know what all the waters sing as they hurry on their way?"

The Shepherd smiled again, and they stood silently for a few moments by the little torrent, which seemed to shout even more loudly and exultantly as though it knew they had paused to listen. Suddenly, as Much-Afraid stood beside the Shepherd it seemed as though her ears and her understanding were open, and bit by bit, the water language became clear. It is, of course, impossible to write it in water-language, but this is the best I can do to translate it. Of course it is a very poor effort, for though a water song perhaps may be set to music, words are quite a different matter. But it went something like this:

Come, oh come! let us away--

Lower, lower every day,

Oh, what joy it is to race

Down to find the lowest place.

This is the dearest law we know--

It is happy to go low.

Sweetest urge and sweetest will,

Let us go down lower still.

Hear the summons night and day

Calling us to come away.

From the heights we leap and flow

To the valleys down below.

Always answering to the call,

To the lowest place of all.

Sweetest urge and sweetest pain,

To go low and rise again.

"That is very puzzling," said Much-Afraid, after she had listened for a little and found that this was the refrain, repeated over and over again, though with a thousand variations of little trills and murmurs and bubbles and splashing sighs. 'Let us go down lower still,' the water seems to be singing so gladly, because it is hurrying to go down to the lowest place, and yet you are calling me to the Highest Places. What does it mean?"

"The High Places," answered the Shepherd, "are the starting places for the journey down to the lowest place in the world. When you have hinds' feet and can go leaping on the mountains and skipping on the hills, you will be able, as I am, to run down from the heights in the gladdest self-giving and then go up to the mountains again."

Those words really convict my heart of my own selfishness...my desire to be put on a pedestal by my husband, my desire to be liked by everyone, my desire to do everything perfect, my desire to look good and together all the time, my desire for me-time, my desire for a nicer house, nicer kids, nicer marriage, nicer everything. All of those desires are completely self-centered instead of other-centered or Christ-centered. Instead of wanting to be on a pedestal that I don't deserve, I should want to be in the lowest places, serving others unnoticed for no glory other than pleasing the heart of Jesus. "Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like Yours!" How contrary the joyful "Water Song" is to the selfish messages this world screams in our ears. How I long to find the joy in being little, being low, being humble--in serving rather than being served. Will you please pray that I can learn this lesson of humility, that my life can be like a cascading stream that serves life-giving water and joy to those who cross my path?  As opposed to the selfish sponge that I've been lately...ugh...when will I ever learn!?

 "Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like Yours!"