Motherhood: Beautiful Death of Self

My husband bought me these roses a few weeks ago.  They were beautiful, but unfortunately they died within a few days.  I hated to see them just get thrown away, so I decided to try to hang them upside down to dry them.  They dried beautifully, and now I get to find joy in them for months, perhaps years.  As I celebrate Mother's Day this weekend, these roses reminded me of the vocation of motherhood.  When I became a mother and experienced the thrill of falling in love with my first-born, it was similar to the thrill of receiving unexpected roses from my lover.  However, just like roses that wilt and die, sometimes the thrill of motherhood wanes with the mundane routine, the stress that motherhood can bring, the countless acts of sacrificing my own wants for the needs of my children.  But as a mother of seven children, 4 on earth and 3 in heaven, I am beginning to see that the daily "dying-to-self" that motherhood entails can be a beautiful thing, just like the beauty in dried roses.  When we die to self, there is more room for the life of Christ to shine through us...and that indeed is beautiful.  Jesus tells us that death is not only beautiful, it is also fruitful:  "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24)


Motherhood roots out selfishness like nothing else can.  I am forced to put my will aside numerous times every hour....I can't just go hang out with friends, or take a few hours to read quietly, or have a romantic date with my spouse, or catch up on my photo albums whenever I want....the call to motherhood is a constant and more urgent calling than any of my selfish wants.  Diapers need to be changed, kids need to be carted to school, scrapes need to be kissed, dinner needs to be made, laundry is always waiting to be washed.  So I choose to die to self and live for others instead.  Sometimes it is painful.  Sometimes I complain and have a pity party.  Sometimes I even cry and mourn the death of my identity.  Until I remind myself of my true identity:  I am a wife, a mother, a servant of Christ.  I am no longer just Maria.  No longer do I have the luxury of being selfish.  I have the privilege of being self-less; I am the daughter of a King who has promised me an eternal prize greater than all of my selfish wants put together.


So this Mother's Day, may all of you beautiful mothers out there embrace your identity, your vocation of motherhood, with new enthusiasm...embrace the beauty of dying to self so that you may truly live for Christ and bring Him to others, especially your children and spouse!  Remember that your daily acts of dying to self are indeed beautiful and fruitful.  Happy Mother's Day!