The Beauty of the Cross

Last weekend I was tired. Very tired. Lately, my sweet Nathanael wants my company about every hour during the night. I love his company, but I also dearly love sleep. Over time, the lack of sleep starts taking its toll. I guess you could say the toll was collected this weekend. Emotionally and spiritually I fell into a very dark place for a couple of days. I was not patient with my children. I was not loving toward my husband. Fatigue made my small cross seem overshadowing, weighing me down with sadness and, at times, almost consuming me with bitterness. Like the photo above, my cross looked dark. My eyes refused to see its beauty.

Our crosses should not have that affect.

Our crosses, when carried with Christ and for Christ should bring us JOY.

It is the evil one who distorts our perspectives, steals the joy, and tries to discourage us from carrying our cross; he tries to make us think our cross is too heavy, and to look elsewhere for joy. True joy can only come from doing God's will. The cross of self-less love is God's will. Whereas, self-love is the will of the evil one.

Last weekend I listened to the lies of the evil one. Satan likes to pounce when we are tired and weak, and I feel like I lost many spiritual battles this weekend. I chose self-love rather than self-less love. I picked open old wounds that Christ keeps trying to heal. I chose not to love because I wasn't feeling loved. In other words I was not being Christ-like at all. That's the bad news. But the good news, the reason I am sharing my weekend's weakness with you, is to show you that there is hope when we fall. The beauty of the cross is that it symbolizes a merciful God who loves us so much that He sent His Son to die so that we can be forgiven. A God who delights when we come out of the darkness and bask in His light. I am astounded at how quickly my mood and my perspective has changed this week after asking for God's forgiveness (and my husband's too!) :} This week, fittingly as Easter draws near, I am rejoicing in His forgiveness, clinging to His promises, refusing to be consumed by selfishness...trusting that (sleep or no sleep) He will give me the grace to choose joy and see the beauty in my cross because it makes me more Christ-like.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. His mercies are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

P.S. Thanks, Jenny, for this beautiful cross in my kitchen--a constant reminder that the crosses I am asked to carry can be beautiful when looked at with eyes of faith.

Have a blessed Holy Week!!!